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Help and resources for parenting the most aggressive stage of child development-the toddler-preschool stage. The parenting battle is often won or lost between children's ages 12 months and 4 years.

Parenting An Aggressive Toddler

First, a little confession:  I don't have kids! What I'm sharing, I've learned from counseling and observing hundreds of parents with their kids, seeing how things turned out, and reading what development specialists have written.  The methods I'm recommending are the most successful I've seen actually used.

Parenting Aggressive Toddler: 

This page is not about teething, potty training, table training or any other common toddler/preschooler lesson...there are plenty of sources for that info, as I'm sure you've discovered.  This is for establishing the foundation of a parenting relationship with your child between the ages of 12 months and 4 years.  These best-selling books on Parenting Toddlers can help you really prepare for the 12-24 month period.  This is when a child experiences the most development and when most parents win or lose the parenting battle.  Even the most well-behaved children are aggressive in their approach to learning and relationship.  During the first 4 years, most children acquire more knowledge than the whole rest of their lives.  No one knows for certain how much is acquired in the first year, but the next 3 are a marvel to the greatest of scientists.  Think of it!  The human body is the most complex thing ever created, yet, during the 3 toddler years, most kids gain near total control of it.  They can walk, talk, eat, and most of the time, even control bowel and bladder.  They've mastered all large motor skills and are making rapid progress on small motor skills, which is why those simple locks don't keep them out any more.  The human personality is the most complex, yet most of our personality is developed and discernable by age 4.  Many psychologists believe that everything you will be and do is already programmed by age 4...I don't go that far.  Still, all your notions about family relationships; parenting, marriage, siblings, managing money, housekeeping, love, right, wrong, smoking, drinking...all the big issues are settled for most children by age 4.  That's why this is the most important time for you and your child.  This is not to say that things can't be changed and adjusted after age 4, but it's an unlearning and relearning process.  This takes more time and effort and creates confusion in the mind of the child.  You're probably thinking I'm full of diaper-do if I think kids can learn all that before they can put a complex sentence together.   The fact is, kids don't learn logically, which is why my brother was never able to reason with his 2-year-old daughter.  Kids learn emotionally (adults too, we just think it's logical).  They learn in 2 ways...observation and experimentation. 

Parenting Toddlers With Example:

"How do my kids learn not to smoke by age 4?" You ask?  This and every other life lesson is learned by watching you...the parent.  If you don't smoke and don't allow others to smoke around your children, it is far less likely they will ever be interested in smoking.  Many parents have the mistaken idea their children won't do what the parent is doing if they tell them not to.  I believe it was Zig Ziglar who said, "What you do speaks so loudly they can't hear what you say."  My parents, both smokers, taught us kids that smoking was a terrible, filthy habit.  4 out of 5 of of us became smokers despite all the information we received about how bad it was.  Apply the rule of example to every aspect of your life:  Be the kind of person you want your child to be.  It's worth it just for knowing you will never have to explain why you're not doing what you tell them.  If you want them to be honest.  If you want them to love and respect their and respect yours, and each other.  If you want them to be married for married for life.  If you want them to save money.  If you want them to get a higher education, be a good citizen, be kind to others, not to argue, be a good neighbor, be loyal, read books, share, help the do these things in front of them.  Don't make any rules for them that you're not willing to follow.  If you don't respect your own rules, don't expect them to.

Conclusion at Parenting An Aggressive Toddler-2

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