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Pedophilia Recovery Using The BAR Cycle

If you're angered by the title of this article because you believe pedophiles are incurable and should get the death penalty, as one person wrote me recently, this article is not for you.  In fact, if you or a loved one was molested and your interest is in increased punishment or monitoring of pedophiles, you won't like the article, either.  But, if you or a loved one is part of a, sadly, growing number of people who suffers from pedophilia, this article is to give you hope.  The hope is in the reality that people can and do recover from pedophilia, like any other compulsive disorder.

Pedophilia-What It Is And Isn't:  Let's define the term so we won't have a misunderstanding right off the bat.  Pedophilia is a chronic compulsion for an adult to mentally dwell on, plan, attempt or carry out any kind of sexual activity with a child, whether that child is a relative or a stranger.  Yes, we're pedophiles even if all we do is dwell on thoughts about about sex with a child, or view kiddy porn.  We move on to peeping tom, stalker, or molester, if we take any actions on those thoughts, even if it's just staring at a child and thinking about having sex with them.  Though pedophiles often get confused about this, no sexual thought or action directed at a child is "showing love."

Pedophilia is not just having thoughts of sex with a child.  Almost everyone has those thoughts and dismisses them as soon as they enter their minds.  While pedophiles are excited about such thoughts, everyone else is shocked and repulsed by them.  While pedophiles try to justify nurturing those thoughts, everyone else feels guilty about them and tries to force them from their minds.  Pedophiles are addicted to the thoughts and resulting actions, while everyone else maintains control over their thoughts and actions. 

Pedophilia And Chemical Addiction:  Like any addiction, pedophilia grows in someone as they continue to harbor the wrong thoughts and take the wrong actions on those thoughts.  They literally reprogram their sex drive from adults to children.  All of the chemicals that produce the feeling of sexual attraction and satisfaction are unnaturally redirected toward children.  This is why most pedophiles feel they're showing love, because they experience the same feelings present in a natural relationship between adults.  They know it's wrong, but feel compelled by their sex drive to continue.  This is a sexual chemical addiction as controlling and difficult to overcome as any IV drug addiction.   

Why Can't I Just Quit?  With a drug addiction like that, most pedophiles who have gone down the road very long need professional treatment and often drug therapy to get it under control.  You can't just quit if you've been abusing meth or heroine.  Sexual compulsions are just like that.  The cycle builds up temptation until the desire is so strong you take action, which produces the flood of chemicals that relax you and make you feel euphoric.  Then guilt sets in, making you feel worse about yourself and leading to the temptation to gain that euphoria again...only this time it takes more to overcome the lower self-esteem.  You feel guilt that you do this thing and you wonder what kind of person you must be to need to do this to feel good.  All of these feelings feed and strengthen the addiction.  

Recovery Using The BAR Cycle:   There is hope for recovery!  By using the BAR Cycle, many can reprogram their sex drive back to normal and live in recovery from pedophilia.  Let me add a little disclaimer before we go on.  If you're beyond the thinking and planning stages of pedophilia, these methods will help you recover, but you must get professional treatment to get your actions stopped, first.  Once stopped, we can move on to recovery by attacking the Belief part of the BAR Cycle.

Instead of building up temptation, when you're reprogramming your Belief, the longer you go without taking compulsive action, the healthier your belief gets and the easier it is to resist temptation.  We change our Belief by replacing every destructive thought, negative self-talk and thought about sex with positive, uplifting and constructive thoughts.  Yes...every thought, until it becomes a habit!  We also change our Belief by taking positive, self-image-building actions, like reading good books, listening to uplifting music, doing volunteer work, taking classes, hobbies, etc.  Some may be saying at this point, "Where am I going to get the time and mental energy to do all that?"  That's an excuse...your addiction talking!  Trust me, if you replace what you used to think and do with these positive thoughts and actions, you'll have more than enough time and energy.  The longer you do these things, the more you'll become a person who couldn't think of doing those other things.  You'll look back one day on that poor sick soul you used to be as if it were a completely different person...and you'll be right.

There is hope for recovery from pedophilia.  While many still need professional treatment, all can benefit from the BAR Cycle techniques.  Recovery from any compulsion isn't easy, but it is possible if you're willing to put in the effort.  Most pedophiles in the early stages can use the BAR Cycle to reprogram themselves and prevent the harm they might have been to any child.  Isn't that worth the effort?

I want you to know there is someone who can help, who loves you and wants only the best for you.  That someone is God.  If you want help from God, just click on Help Me God

What is your opinion? 

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