Whether we want to reduce speaker nervousness or eliminate the insecurity that makes us doubt someone's love, probably all of us feel our life would improve if we could eliminate the little insecurities and nerves we almost constantly battle. If I'm describing you, you're at the right page. We'll define insecurity and nervousness, discuss signs and symptoms, cover some of the causes and learn about controlling and overcoming insecurities and nervousness.
Insecurities and Nervousness are emotions that serve us well most of the time. They can be described as little caution flags that come up as we encounter risky circumstances in life. If you ever felt insecure when a friend was knocking a beehive with a stick, you probably benefited from that insecurity. Maybe someone at a party made you feel nervous, so you left, later to hear that he had done something harmful or mean. Again, the feelings were helpful for you. In fact, a person who genuinely feels no insecurities or nervousness is probably very dangerous to be around. Carnival rides like roller coasters, in fact, play with these emotions for the enjoyment of the rider. These are normal levels of insecurities and nervousness. Here are some top-selling books on insecurities and nervousness.
These feelings become a problem when they are there all the time or when their presence prevents us from enjoying the challenges and risks of life. Risks, like roller coasters, can be enjoyed. Insecurity and nervousness must be controlled when the emotions rob you of the joy, limit your performance, or limit your willingness to participate at all.
Persistence: When feelings of
insecurity and nervousness are there almost all the time regardless of the
situation, it usually means you have a bad worry habit or a mild anxiety
problem. Severe anxieties can be very limiting, so, if you suspect you
have a severe anxiety, see Anxiety
Limited Performance: It's normal to blow it under stressful situations from time to time. It isn't normal to blow it all the time...this is performance limiting nervousness. People get this in situations from speaking to sports, and from dating to doctor visits. If you blow it regularly because of nervousness or insecurities, you should address the problem...especially if it is limiting your relationships or job performance.
Limited Participation: If nervousness or insecurities cause you to occasionally choose not to participate in a social activity or career task, these fear emotions are limiting your life. It's likely we're talking about a performance or social anxiety if it regularly prevents you from participating in normal activities.
What Are Some Causes of Nervousness and Insecurities...Does Low Self-Esteem Play a Role? Some people have experienced a serious loss or tragedy in the past that skews how they see everything since. This is usually the root of a serious anxiety disorder rather than nervousness or insecurities. I had a friend who lost a leg in an auto accident and, from then on, was very agitated every time she got in a car...this is an anxiety...not just insecurity. Low self-esteem is usually the chief cause of nervousness and insecurity problems. It's rooted in the feelings of fear about "measuring up" or doing something embarrassing. The bad news is...you won't measure up to your standard of perfection and you will do embarrassing things. The good news is...everyone is in the same boat. This is very good news...read it again. This means that there is nothing unusual about a little flub every now and then. Try to relax!
Remember the roller coaster...how we tricked our mind into thinking we were in danger? Nervousness and insecurities are like our minds tricking us into thinking there is danger when there isn't. This gives us tremendous control over our insecurities. Instead of thinking 'what if?' we learn to think 'So what!' Most performers (speakers, singers, etc.) feel there performance isn't up to par if they don't have significant nervousness beforehand. It's what gives them a dramatic edge. Even their mistakes are entertaining. No one sees your mistakes like you do. I remember feeling particularly insecure for a few months and finally asked my wife if she was disappointed in me or felt I was a failure. She said she was in awe of me, and then listed a half dozen of my accomplishments that she felt were amazing. If you've read this article, you'll understand I had trouble accepting her picture of me. I still have insecurities and nervousness, but now I know it's just my mind taking me on a roller-coaster ride. You can have the same attitude change about your insecurities.
If this isn't enough, then pull your calendar out and build a task list. List all of life's normal things that make you feel nervous or insecure...and do them! Yes, do them! Prove to yourself that the World will not come to an end. Do them regularly and repeatedly. The bigger the insecurity, the more you have to confront it. You won't believe the power you'll get from doing all the things that fear kept you from in the past. This will build your self-esteem like nothing else. Sometimes our nervousness and insecurities are so ingrained we need extra help...help from God to break the grip they have on us. If you'd like God's help, click on Help From God.
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