There is hope for recovery. Though I differ with the popular notion that anyone who has molested can't be stopped, I do believe the further you go down the road, the harder it is to stop. My article "Why Offer Pedophiles Therapy" may give some of you an idea what we're trying to accomplish, here. The nature of sexual addictions is such that, once someone has turned the corner to believing molestation is their way of expressing love, it's very unlikely they will choose to return to normal. Once they've added violence, I suspect it's almost impossible. We'll let others discuss the legal ramifications. Let's stick to what you can do if you wish to quit, regardless of how far you've gone. Almost every pedophile therapy currently being discussed, focuses on the physical sex drive, and almost exclusively on the male sex drive. This will never work. Women molest, too. Men who have been castrated have continued to molest and rape because the drive is in their minds...not their bodies. People who have been chemically castrated have purchased hormones and impotence drugs to overcome the castration drugs. The anti-depressant therapy gets closer to the problem by trying to treat the mental source of sexual abuse. Still, unless the pedophiles wish to stop, anti-depressants can result in them just feeling better about what they're doing. Yet, there is hope.
If you find yourself attracted to
children, here are some steps you must
take to control yourself:
1. Never allow yourself to be alone with a child, not even yours.
2. Never allow yourself to dwell on erotic thoughts about children...force them out with other thoughts.
3. Never allow yourself to view erotic images of anyone. Even stay away from underwear and bathing suit commercials...anything that gives you the wrong ideas.
4. Never go to swimming pools, dance studios, playgrounds or anywhere else that gives you temptation.
5. Never allow yourself to masturbate or to think of others while making love with your spouse.
6. Find a trusted friend or family member (your spouse if married) to be accountable to. Tell them everything and ask them to keep an eye on you and confront you about this issue.
By following these steps and keeping the battle in your mind, you can get control of your behavior. I won't kid you about it being easy. I still battle temptation and use the above rules, over 25 years later. Quitting cigarettes, drugs and alcohol were a walk in the park compared to this. The temptations are less frequent and less powerful, but they still occur. One of my reasons for not having children was my fear of having a child that much in my control. I may not have done anything but I didn't feel I could afford to take the chance. The steps above keep me in control.
If you keep the battle in your mind and don't take physical action, like viewing images, masturbation, etc. then you are well on your way to control. If you try the above steps and find you can't keep control, you must add professional counseling and possibly drug therapy to the above controls. Anything is better than letting this take control of you. You and all your possible victims deserve better. As a molester, you just got trapped in a very controlling addiction. Now that you know where it's going and how to stop, if you continue, it's on your head.
This is a question I think many pedophiles ask. Some people ask the question to justify continuing their behavior. To those I would say, "You're not allowing Him to forgive you because you're not behaving as if you feel there is anything to forgive." To those who are genuinely contrite and mournful of your past behavior and want help to quit, the answer is a resounding, "Yes! God can forgive you and He will help you quit." If you want God's help, click on God help me.
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