Concluded from Mental Health And Parental Programming
Changing these deep-seated programs is
not easy, and requires great effort. That's probably why many
therapists opt for sympathy rather than help...sympathy is what most people
want from them, because change is more work than they're willing to do.
The work is in changing your attitude...how you think and feel...rather than
your behavior. Before you set out on this path, make sure you've explained
what you're doing with those who are closest to you because even a positive
change in someone can be frightening if unexplained. Make sure they
all know you still love them and are just working to improve some things
about yourself. Also, let them know you're not expecting them to
change anything, just be patient with you. Once that's done,
you're ready to begin.
Take a day or two to identify all the emotions, attitudes and character traits you no longer want in yourself...make a list. You're not going to do anything with this except refer to it in years to come. The way to overcome these traits is by spending all your energy on new traits you want to cultivate into your life. So, take a day or two to identify the 10 or so character traits you want to build your life around. Use character traits of people you admire, for ideas. Now, take a day or so to define each of those character traits, then prioritize them.
Turn those traits into positive, present-tense statements that you will recite multiple times each day, and memorize over time. These are the new rules you will live your life by, so they must become as familiar to you as breathing. Post these traits on the mirror in your bathroom. Keep a copy with you and review them while you're waiting in line or for an appointment. As you plan your business and personal activities, make sure you're incorporating these character traits into every decision and action. During the day and at the end of the day, take a little time to assess your behavior against your new set of character traits. You don't need to punish yourself or get down on yourself when, not if, you fail from time to time. Use these failures to learn new ways of handling situations in the future. That way, every failure becomes the root of a better future.
If you stay committed to your new set of traits and do the hard work I just described, you'll see character changes in as little as a month. Still, as life situations change, you'll discover long-hidden attitudes that are part of the old life rather than the new, so you'll need to change them. You'll also discover adjustments you need to make to your list of character traits. This takes time! It took your whole life to become who you are, so don't think becoming who you want to be will happen quickly. After a year, look at the old list of discarded traits and compare your present behavior...you'll see big changes. After 10 years, you might not be able to imagine how anybody could have the character traits on that old list, then it will hit you...that's who you used to be. In my own experience, this process helped save my marriage, eliminate several addictions and anxieties and dramatically change my life to one devoted to helping others with their problems.
This article isn't meant to suggest that all mental health issues can be resolved in this self-help manner. Always get advice from a professional therapist when dealing with mental health issues. That said, I can't imagine a psychological condition that wouldn't be greatly improved by this proactive, self-help process. Whether the cause is nature or nurture, as I see it, we who have faulty programming have two choices. We can wait for the scientists to develop a successful treatment for our problems...or...we can take responsibility for our own mental health and start treating ourselves while the scientists are figuring it out. Which choice has the most promise for your recovery?
I want you to know there is someone who can help, who loves you and wants only the best for you. That someone is God. If you want help from God, just click on Help Me God.
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