Help With Life & Family EHF Logo

It's an honor that you've allowed us to try and help with your family and life issues.  Thank you very much for visiting.  Please return soon.
Love & Hugs,

More help for survivors of abuse, with definitions, myths, facts, causes, effects and solutions for both victims and abusers. Also included are pages to specifically address child abuse, incest, sexual abuse, rape and elder abuse.

Continued from Domestic Violence Facts

Causes of Domestic Violence:

The last myth we want to cover is about a cause of domestic violence.  The myth suggests that those who commit domestic violence were abused, themselves, as children.  Here are the facts-anything you witness as part of family life can affect how you act when you have a family...but doesn't have to.  Yes, violence may have been normal when you were growing up but it doesn't have to be normal for you.  Most people who grow up in a violent environment don't commit the same violence.  There are many factors that contribute more strongly to domestic violence than family history.  Addictions, particularly drug and alcohol addictions, are very strong contributors to domestic violence.  The addiction seems to leave abusers in a state of less control even during periods of sobriety.  It may seem obvious, but mental illness is a major contributor to domestic violence.  Depression, anxiety, panic, schizophrenia, bipolar affective disorder and many other disorders can result in domestic violence.  If you'd like to know if the violence you're experiencing is related to mental or emotional illness, visit our pages under Changing Mental-Emotional Health.  A major cause of teen domestic violence is gang affiliation.  Teens, replacing family loyalty and support with gang loyalty, increasingly disrespect their parents and siblings.  It's becoming common for teens to attack parents and siblings, even to allow fellow gang members to attack family members physically and sexually.  

Effects of Domestic Violence on Children:

Even if the children don't always grow up to be violent abusers, they are always seriously damaged by the domestic violence they live in.  Children's school performance declines as domestic violence interferes with homework time, sleep time, sleep quality and classroom concentration.  Every family I've counseled that had a domestic violence issue had children who were seriously under-performing at school, regardless of intelligence or age...even though the violence was never directed toward them.  One couple only yelled at each other...never struck or threw anything and never directed any harsh comments or language at their children.  Still, their arguments were so violent and so frequent that their children were seriously hurt.  Even though they never "abused" their children, their behavior toward each other was very abusive to their children.  The teenage students dressed more provocatively and were usually far more promiscuous than those I witnessed in non-violent families.  Please understand that your children's sense of security and happiness comes as much from how you treat each other as from how you treat your children.  Put another way...abusing your spouse is abusing your children.  

Help With Solutions for Domestic Violence:

When it comes to solutions for domestic violence, the most important thing to understand is, if it isn't getting better, it's getting worse.  Don't fool yourself!  If the violent person is promising to change but never does anything about that promise, get yourself and your children out of the environment.  If the violence includes more than just verbal abuse, make sure the abuser can't find you or the children, at least temporarily.  One organization that can help you if you're a Domestic Violence Survivor is the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.  They can put you in touch with local centers and sources for help.  If the abuse includes serious mental or emotional abuse or any form of physical abuse, you must report this to the police so you, the children and the abuser can get help.  Domestic violence abusers, if they are not under control and getting professional help, will not stop...they will only get worse.  The only way to help them is by forcing them through the law to confront their problem and get the help they need.  If you want to learn more, here are the recent most popular books on domestic violence solutions

Finally, if you're in a violent environment or even if you're the abuser, you may have trouble believing this, but you have help right there with you, right now.  That help comes from God.  If you're the victim, God can help you get the violence stopped, get the help you need for all victims and abusers in your family, and He can heal all of you.  If you're the abuser, God can heal you and give you the courage to face your problem and get the professional help you need.  If you'll get your action stopped and get help, you can save your family...and yourself.  If you want God's help with your domestic violence situation click on God help me.

Abuse Recovery Help Forum - Support group for recovery from sexual abuse, molestation, domestic violence, rape, etc.

Related Topics:

Abuse Recovery RSS Feed Abuse Recovery
Abused Children Recover?
Abuse Survivors Recovery
BAR Cycle And Behavior
Child Abuse Facts
Child Abuse Protection
Child Molestation Signs
Child Sexual Abuse
Child Sex Abuse Recov.
Child Sex Abuse Prevent.
Domestic Violence Facts
Elder Abuse-Dealing With
Incest Survivors Help
Is Child Spanking OK?
Pedophile Therapy
Pedophiles Therapy-Why
Rape Victims Help
Sexual Abuse
Sexual Abuse Recovery
Sexual Abuse Survivors
Sexual Predators In Area
Verbal Abuse Definition
Abuse Recovery Forum
Abuse Recovery Books
Sexual Abuse Resources
Parenting Information
Marriage-Divorce Issues
Senior Care Giving

Way2Hope News!