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concernedmom
All I have is circumstantial evidence and bad motherly instinct feeling. My mother had watched my 2 month old baby. i came home early. the babies outfit had a whole bunch of buttons undeon by the diaper part the ones going up her front were mismatched and only a few were button. she was in the swing with no seat belt. My mother is a space cadette, at first i thought this is what happend. A friend suggested i could have been molestation. i have been freaking out ever since. My mother was molested as a child and seems to be kind of a pervert, though I have no direct memory of her ever molesting me, my youngest brother has said he thought he remembers her doing " something ." she seems like a sociopath to me in that she doesnt care about anyone else, not even children. I wouldnt have left the baby though if i didnt feel safe. she usually seems to be good w/ children i know when i was a kid she was good at holding me, reading me stories , telling me im a good person. she has changed a lot in the past years, and now is pretty much a basket case. i dont plan to leave my baby with her again. she had promised she was up to the task.I believed her at the time. My freind belives since i came home early she could have been doing something bad ( sexual abuse) and been in a hurry which would be why the buttons are how they were, why she had no time to button the swing. when i came in ( she could of heard me coming up the stiars) she was in the bathroom washing her hands. I said " wow it was sure nice having you baby sit " ( not realizing anything was wrong yet). instead of saying anything she acted kinda distant and wierd. now my baby is a little different acting. shes been VERY CLINGY wanting me to hold her or breast feed every second, crying a lot more. i used to make a big deal out of diaper changes " time to change your diaper, good girl !" she would get all excited flailing her arms around. her legs were relaxed. I notice now during diaper changes she sucks on her hand ( thats her pacifier i didnt give her one becuase she is breast fed, so its her source of comfort) and she kicks her legs out now like she wants no one near her privates. Do you believe that she was molested, and are there any physical signs that i can check for. i hate to be wrong about this and go to the police or something.
Glen
Hi! I've never had an infant, but I've known many moms and been around them. It wouldn't hurt to tell a doctor she has been acting funny when you change her and get an examination. Don't tell the doctor you suspect molestation and see what the examination reveals. If the doctor believes there is evidence, you can pursue it. If not, you can rest easy but never let Grandma alone with her again.
beachgirl
I agree with Glenn, a check-up from your doctor is necessary, but without lending any info as to why you are there. It is very possible your mom's quirks just led you down the wrong path with this, but given her past, better safe than sorry. If your daughter is under a year and something did happen, please take solice in knowing she will not remember it. Good Luck to you and let us know how you are doing if you're up to it.
MamaL
Hello this is alot of infomation to process. I suggest you believe your instincts about keeping your child away. Spacey old people without the ability to button correctly just don't sound put together. Your baby is extra clingy so listen to what she is telling you that way. Your mom can visit when you are there and find a nannycam service because you have years to go yet. Alot of people like to think they can babysit, but it is a hard job even for a little while. Those little jumpers are weird to fasten correctly even for non abusive people to snap up correctly, but no swing belt is not okay. Confronting her will only cause anger and denials either way no matter what really happened. My best to you and your sweet baby always.
Ettina
It's impossible to be sure given your child's young age and no physical evidence or witnesses, but there are enough signs to cause concern. You can't go to the police with this little evidence, though I would take her to the doctor and see if the doctor finds anything. If the doctor finds signs of abuse, then definitely go to the police. If he doesn't, doesn't mean that nothing happened because not all sexual abuse leaves physical evidence.
My advice is to stop letting your mother be unsupervised with your baby - don't let her babysit anymore and keep an eye on her during visits. If she asks, don't accuse her of abuse (which will probably provoke her) but just say that you think baby needs more time with you because she's been acting clingy or something like that. Something that won't put her on the defensive.
One or two incidents at such a young age are unlikely to have any long-term impact on your child, but be extra soothing with her for awhile. When she cries and clings, let her. Carry her around with you, put her in a sling or something so she can be next to you. Even if she wasn't abused, she'll only benefit from more closeness with Mom - it's a good idea in general to encourage a small baby to spend a lot of time with their primary caregiver. She should adjust soon and be back to normal.
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