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Glen
If you're angered by the title of this article because you believe pedophiles are incurable and should get the death penalty, as one person wrote me recently, this article is not for you. In fact, if you or a loved one was molested and your interest is in increased punishment or monitoring of pedophiles, you won't like the article, either. But, if you or a loved one is part of a, sadly, growing number of people who suffers from pedophilia, this article is to give you hope. The hope is in the reality that people can and do recover from pedophilia, like any other compulsive disorder.
Pedophilia-What It Is And Isn't: Let's define the term so we won't have a misunderstanding right off the bat. Pedophilia is a
Read complete article!
lostson
Thank you for writing on this sensitive issue. I am deeply grateful that you have the courage to write about this topic in a fair and unbiased view.

I am a pedophile and have been one for most of my life. I noticed my differences of attraction started about age 10. All my friends were attracted girls are own age in our class and I liked the girls in first grade. My attraction has remained the same and I am attracted to girls 3 to 10 years old. Iím not sure if I was born this way or if my own abuse caused it. I like many other pedophiles was molested as a child first from my father then by neighbors. I do not use this as an excuse to act out and hurt children but more as a possible reason for my thoughts and feelings.

I am not proud of having this disease I more the exact opposite, I hate it. It complicates everything I do, work, marriage, life. I married my wife a few years ago I love her very much but I am not attracted to her she knows this and accepts me even with my flaws. I am very fortunate to have someone like her. I have been shunned by many people because of this disease even though I have never acted on my thoughts and desires and molested a child. Most people hear the word pedophile and they feel instant fear and anger. So I have learned to keep quiet about my disease.

I appreciate your stance on this matter and I know it is not easy to admit you have this problem or even once had it. As for me I am working on a cure for this. I attend one-on-one therapy as well as voluntarily attend a sex offender program in which I also attend group therapy. I am working with a physiatrist and am on several medications to aid in controlling my thoughts and desires. I recently tried chemical castration hoping it would alleviate the urge to molest but alas it did not and I have since stopped taking the shots.

I would like to thank you again for opening this topic and being brave enough to talk openly about it. As far as God goes I donít know that much about him. I pray that he doesnít hate me but how could he love a person with these thoughts. Perhaps there is a middle ground where he doesnít hate me but doesnít love me either he just accepts that Iím sick and is at peace with that.
Glen
I just want you to know it's possible to recover. You don't have to live with this disorder. Instead of thinking of God as a judge excluding you, try to think of Him as a loving parent, waiting for you, His child, to come home. Jesus spoke of the progdigal son (lost son) and the great party his father gave when the son returned. This is how God sees all of us, no matter what we've thought or done.
dowantthehelp
hey glen, im a 20 year old male with a lot of potential and great things going for me, and i would really really like to recover form worrying that im a pedophile. it seems like i was never a pedophile before, and once i started worrying about it, i see things in myself and my life that say i am a pedophile. first and foremost, i would never ever dream of doing anything like this with a child and rather its created a huge disturbance in my life and i just want my regular life back. i dont know what else to turn to, cause everyone else says a cure is not possible. i have come to realize that my only choice is a cure, my only choice is to get better, stop worrying about this and get back to my life, but i just want to know, am i gonna have my regular healthy sex drive back? cause it was great, it was fine and just the way i wanted it until i started worrying about this subject...i really do hope that things can get back to normal and healthy for me, because this does not feel like the life i was meant for, this feels terrible and exactly the opposite of who i am, i really appreciate your help and sincerly want to be rid of any troublesome, unhealthy thoughts, much love and longing for hope, -your friend
dowantthehelp
does anybody know if this really works? im gonna try having some faith in myself because i would just never wanna go down that road but i just wonder if this really works?
ineedlotsofhelp
Hey Dowantthehelp... Im 18 years old and ive been viewing images that are of this nature.. Im disgusted with myself and i hate this disease that i have... I dont want it and im determined to get rid of it one way or another.. If you're only at the point where you havent started looking at images of this nature then there's some hope for you.. Its good that like me you obviously abhorr the sorts of things that this disease entails.. But as for beating this thing a lot of the ppl on these forums say it can be and has been done and im inclined to believe them.. This website was my last ditch resort to find some sort of solution to my problem without having to take drastic steps... Use this website as much as you can because it sure has helped me a great deal... Now i noticed that you say you've started worrying that you're a pedophile.. Worrying isnt the same as being one.. And you say that you've noticed characteristics in your own life similar to a classic case of pedophilia... What kind of things are you noticing? But yes there is lots of hope just keep posting regularly and hopefully someone will get back to you eventually smile.gif

Cheers.
dowantthehelp
hey ineedlotsofhelp, thanks for replying, well i just feel anxious around kids and sometimes feel like a perv but then im just like thats gross and try to keep my head up, but i notice i dont feel the same, especially about my preferred sex, i use to have such a healthy sex drive and now not so much, now im just worried about it and it seems like ever since i started worrying about it, everything has changed, its really annoying and its taking up way too much of my time, so last night i was thinking, if this is a matter of your sex drive has gotten reprogrammed to one thing, then shouldnt that mean it can be put back? i dont know, but this whole situation is just unreal and seriously annoying, i really hope its something that will pass, so how are things going for you?
ineedlotsofhelp
Well mate pretty much that definitely isn't the furthest you can go down 'the dark path' but still you should really work on trying to eradicate those thoughts/feelings.. Handy tips are to take up hobbies such as going to the gym, reading lots of books, going out lots, fishing, watching lots of engrossing , movies/tv series.. Now yes it can e reprogrammed im actually in the middle of reprogramming myself as we speak I havent looked at images of young girls on the internet for three weeks and 2 days smile.gif This is a big achievement for me as it is the longest ive gone without in over a year.. It helps that I have a partner (we're coming up on two years soon).. So my advice is to start perving on women i find that replacing your fantasies/wrong desires with something that isnt illegal such as getting into older women e.t.c If you can go out and obtain sex from a woman then my advice is to capitalise on that and go for it.. Currently thats what im doing with my girlfriend im using her (in a good way) to reprogram myself.. Dont get me wrong the thoughts will always be there all people have them its just that people such as you and I arent blocking them out straight away and some of us have been consumed and tempted by them.. What im saying is do whatever the hell you have to do to become like everyone else and have a normal healthy sex drive.. I know this website doesn't condone porn but in this case I'd suggest buying a few adult dvds and magazines as whenever i get 'urges' for the wrong kind of thing i pop on a dvd or look at a magazine full of women in their twenties/thirties and i find that this steadily helps you to recover and reprogram.. I always keep reminding myself when i get an urge to view images that these children were abused by monsters and i dont want to become like that and be a party to that kind of abuse and degredation.. How are you going with everything? Hope I helped.

Hope to hear from you again,

ineedlotsofhelp.
dowantthehelp
im doing ok, and i dont even get urges to do anything or look at anything at all, i think its ####ing disgusting and dispiccable, the only thing i want is to feel like my old self again and just put this all behind me, but im pretty sure that its all in your head, and if you believe your gonna be like this, thats what happens, but i just dont, i just feel like this isnt me and im going to get out, depression is a mental disorder, anxiety, there are all kinds and the only way for somebody to really get better is to do it themselves, its all in your head, and the proof is me getting to this point, once i started believing it could be possible it all started, i was never like this before, for 19 1/2 years i was never like this, and now im determined to keep it that way, i've had a couple months of worry and now i see its no good for me, the worry, the negativity, what i need is to believe in myself, and keep my heart alive
Weisle1
I am a pedophile. I am 28 and have been sexually attracted to girls between 6-13 for as long as I can remember. I have never been molested so I believe this is what I am naturally predisposed to. I am married with 2 children of my own and 3 step children. I have been looking at child porn since I was 12. It has been almost 4 months since I have went looking for child porn. I haven't been able to keep my urges completely under control and my 15yo step daughter suspects what I am. I hate what I have done and can't seem to control myself. I need help. I had been down to the darkest reaches of the dark side. When I was 14 I talked 2 of my cousins into letting me experiment with them. A couple of years ago I talked with them again for the first time since I did what I did to them. I asked for their forgiveness and was lucky enough that they were not even mad with me about it. I have had a few relapses since but have never hurt anyone.

I, on a constant basis, find myself almost unconsciously moving myself into different positions to try to see down a young girls shirt or up her skirt.

I am afraid that some day I might hurt her or my 2 younger daughters. I don't find them sexually attractive but I think that it is probably just that they aren't old enough yet.

I want to get help to fix what is wrong with me before I hurt anyone. I can't just come forward about what I feel. I know that, without a doubt, my wife would divorce me and report me if she knew what I feel. I don't want to loose her, I love her dearly.

Is there anyway I can get help without hurting her?
ineedlotsofhelp
Dear Weisle,

Firstly your problem is that you've quite literally trained your self to believe that just because you haven't been molested means that these urges you're experiencing are some how 'natural' and 'right'. This is a big mistake if you really want to get help the first step is helping your self by starting to think of these thoughts and feelings as being very very wrong. Secondly you have to think even when you're experiencing these urges do you really want to scar your poor innocent daughters/step daughters for the rest of their lives? Its one thing to look at child porn but once you start actually molesting its a completely different story. Both are evil and wrong except that actually starting to molest is like taking a big giant leap further down that dark path. My advice to you is to start going to see a counsellor or psychiatrist. You dont have to tell your wife what it is for just tell her its for stress or whatever. Secondly use this web site whenever you can if you get urges go onto this web site and post people will respond eventually also Glen has put an article or two up about pedophilia nad there's plenty of stuff on here from other people and myself about coping strategies for sexual addictions. If it really comes down to it think to your self do you want to become a monster to your daughters? Do you want to hurt them and destroy their lives? Because from the way you sound I don't think you do. Keep posting and I hope that this has helped.

Cheers,

ineedlotsofhelp
Weisle1
QUOTE (ineedlotsofhelp @ Dec 22 2008, 07:04 PM) *
Dear Weisle,

Firstly your problem is that you've quite literally trained your self to believe that just because you haven't been molested means that these urges you're experiencing are some how 'natural' and 'right'.
ineedlotsofhelp


I don't feel that these urges are 'right' I very much know they are wrong. I just don't understand why I would have these urges in the first place.

QUOTE
If it really comes down to it think to your self do you want to become a monster to your daughters? Do you want to hurt them and destroy their lives?


This line of thinking is exactly what has kept me from letting that loathsome side of me out.

Thank you for your advise. I will seek counseling. Telling my wife that it is for stress is a great idea. I have noticed that during the last few months, the longer I go resisting my urges the easier it is to resist them. I hope that someday I will be able to have 'normal' thoughts. As it is I am very ashamed of the kind of thoughts I have. But the good thing is that (except for the incident when I was 14) they are only thoughts. I believe that with proper help I can make sure they stay that way too.

Something I noticed is that my urges are also a lot stronger when I drink so I told my wife after Thanksgiving that I was going to stop drinking. She asked 'What brought that on" My reply was "Alcoholism runs in the family and I don't want to get caught up in that" The truth is that I have no addiction to alcohol. My addiction is a whole lot worse. Keeping one under control requires that I not do the other.

I will continue to use this site as a way of maintaining accountability.

Do you have any suggestions as to why I have these urges? I think that if I can figure that out I will be better equiped to handle my urges.

Thank you for all your help. This advise could very well help save my stepdaughter/daughters, my wife's, and my own life from constant misery.
Waiting4Healing
Ok here we go. I want you people to know that I am not a horrible person by any means. I am attracted to little boys. I was involved in "sexual activities" when I was younger around 8y.o. or so. You could call it molest but it was more of child experimenting. I have had these feelings for about 10 years..(I'm 22) and only my best friend is aware of my disorder. I have acted on my feelings before with children I have babysat BUT, I only did these things when they were sleeping so they have no recollection of my wrong doings. I don't want to hurt children, I am in school to become a Child Psychologist to help children who have been abused and etc. People I know, I have done horrible things. My feelings are not normal and I know many people hate people such as me.

For those of you who have Faith, I do to. I am a true believe that Jesus Christ is the way the truth and the light, and that we must have faith in him. I KNOW that God will heal me one day. I am certain of it. I believe he is waiting for me to come to some realization before he does. Something(s) I need to learn before healing will come. Since I have told my best friend he has been keeping me accountable, and since the first of the year I have not done inappropriate actions towards children. The internet is still a huge temptation unfortunately but I am working on it. I need to go to counseling but taking the first step is hard for me and I don't know how much I should disclose when talking to a counselor. Any comments/questions/suggestions would be appreciated


Don't hate me smile.gif


God Bless,
-Waiting4Healing
sickfukks
[i]First off i am a survivor of a very sick,perversed,coward! I lost my innocence at the age of five...so why should you deviant,sick people expect to find empathy? Aww you are so self righteous that it makes me sick! None of you deserve to live...because of all the innocence you have taken from your victims![/i][color="#FF0000"][/color][size="5"][/size]
mominpain
I agree with sickfukks.... I was molested for many years by a man who was in my life on a daily. he is now in prison for ten years for hurting his own daughter. I hope he dies in there myself. I have no sadness for men or woman who rape or touch little young kids. It's sick and in turns makes them have a terrible life. I dont have a huge faith but I do know that if GOD is looking down on the people who do this sick stuff I would rather burn in hell!!!! Its sick and people should be shot in the head .... I am in school to be a paralegal because of the sick people out there...I will work my way to make sure that one day you will be put on death roll for sticking your penis in a young child!!!!! I dont feel sorry for any of you sick people and you can all burn in hell.
bunnyboy
Hello, I am a 28 year old guy who has been previously convicted twice for cp..I have always been intrigued by children, and have always found some attractive and some not, like a guy judging a woman..I remember looking at it as young as 13, and always keeping a secret, until 10 years later, I couldn't do that anymore..I always used to use suicide as an alibi to act out, if anything went wrong, so you could imagine the vicious cycle I found myself in..I experimented with other younger children when I was a kid, and enjoyed it, and somehow it got stuck with me..I wish society offered treatment for this disorder in the amount given for various drug addictions..the mental torment of prison or jail can't be conducive to treatment and rehabilitation..It must only make things worse...This is a great group..Thanks for hearing me out and keep up the good work.
agony
Hi, Im a 23 yr old woman and I am a pedophile. Im not attractive so I get rejected from men alot. Im 100% female but I have a very masculine figure and face which creates a problem. Growing up I was picked on by my peers about my looks which made me turn to children. I had pedophilia since I was a little girl, my first incident when I actually touched a younger child was when I was 7 and the little boy was 2. A little girl who was there that witnessed the incident told and I got in trouble as you all would imagine would happen. I was addicted to porn since I could turn on the tv. I dont know what made me that way, I wasn't ever molested or anything like that I had a stable home and surroundings, it must be a strong demon possesion. I was always able to keep my urges under control until I was 18. I passed this group of my guys and girls (in their young 20's maybe) and as they laughed and talked about me (which I know they did), it triggered my pedophilia to resurface again. I dont know why this incident was the one to trigger it again but the rejection from not fitting in as an attractive young lady as I thought I should have triggered it. I havent been able to control it since. I touched 3 children since then. I dont go looking for children. I dont watch child pornography, Im not hunting them down in chat rooms, I'm bascially normal until I see or hear one and I cant control it. I always thought I would stop as soon as I get a boyfriend but I havent ever gotten one. I know my friends and family can see it now, none of them ever said anything to me about it, I wish they would even tho they can see I dont lilke it, and Im very uncomfortable with this. I havent ever told anyone this I dont have a best friend I can talk to but I really didnt need to since the ppl around can see it they just havent said anything to me about it. Its affected my social life, I dont go outside anymore, I trapped myself in my own prison and Im tired of it. I cant find no release. I havent found any support groups in my area but I would like to go to one.
myturnnow
ALL OF YOU WHO ARE ON HERE FOR RECOVERY NEED TO FIND A NEW PLACE TO GO. IM SORRY BUT WHEN YOU HAVE SURVIVORS OR SEXUAL ABUSE AND MOLESTATION ON HERE TRYING TO GET HELP AND RECOVER, READING #### THAT YOU PPL HAVE WRITTEN IS HORRIBLE! YOU NEED TO GO TO A PLACE WHERE PPL WILL FIND EMPATHY, AND I GUARANTEE ITS NOT GOING TO BE ON THIS WEBSITE. YOU ARE SHOWING ALL OF US WHO HAVE BEEN HURT BY A PEDOPHILE THAT ITS OK BECAUSE YOU MAY BEABLE TO RECOVER TOO. YOU ALL DISGUST ME AND I HAVE NO SYMPATHY FOR ANY OF YOU AT ALL AND I DONT BELEIVE YOU CAN GET BETTER!
Yrag
QUOTE (myturnnow @ Nov 6 2010, 12:52 PM) *
ALL OF YOU WHO ARE ON HERE FOR RECOVERY NEED TO FIND A NEW PLACE TO GO. I'm new so where can a pedophile go for help if not to this site? IM SORRY BUT WHEN YOU HAVE SURVIVORS OR SEXUAL ABUSE AND MOLESTATION ON HERE TRYING TO GET HELP AND RECOVER. I'm sorry you were abused but I'm glad you are a survivor. YOU ARE SHOWING ALL OF US WHO HAVE BEEN HURT BY A PEDOPHILE THAT ITS OK. Maybe I missed something, but I don't read anything on this site about abuse being OK. I hear people who want help so they won't abuse. YOU ALL DISGUST ME. Many of us are disgusted with ourselves. I HAVE NO SYMPATHY FOR ANY OF YOU. Most of us don't want sympathy. I DONT BELEIVE YOU CAN GET BETTER! Maybe so, but people who are sexually attracted to children do not have to practice child sexual abuse. People who share your viewpoint have not decreased the incidence of child sexual abuse. Why not try to help those who want to do better?

WorriedPerson2334
Hi i need some advice, im 24, never had an attraction to underage girls but once when i was watching porn (im a recovering porn addict) someone put up child porn on a forum and i looked at it, i have ocd and i was wondering if im over analysing it,ive had offers of sex with 16 year old girls even that i turned down, help?
tyciol
QUOTE (Glen @ Dec 5 2007, 05:37 PM) *
Instead of thinking of God as a judge excluding you, try to think of Him as a loving parent, waiting for you, His child, to come home. Jesus spoke of the progdigal son (lost son) and the great party his father gave when the son returned. This is how God sees all of us, no matter what we've thought or done.
Is there a way for people to recover with BAR who have an atheist outlook?
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