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sweete
Hello! My issue deals with a couple of different topics - family budgeting and addictions, but I figured this was a good place to start. My husband and I have been married for just under a year. We both have wonderful jobs, we are economically stable and still very in love - all good things! The only issue that ever causes us stress and to fight is his family. My husband's dad passed away about 10 years ago (before I met my husband). My husband was already out of college, so he was able to deal with it. His two brothers are younger than him and were in their early 20s when this happened. It sent them into a spiral downward. They never went to college and got in with the wrong crowd. They started doing drugs and had to be put into rehab facilities. For the past five years, they have been on and off drugs and in and out of jail - very different than the life my husband and I lead. The problem is that we love them so we continue to help them. They call for money on a weekly basis, if not a daily basis. My mother-in-law can't support them anymore, so even though they continue to call her and stress her out, they call my husband more. I keep telling him that he needs to say no, but then he's worried that they'll end up in jail or on the streets. They are his brothers so he doesn't want that, so instead, he continues to give in. He tells me that he does say no often, but I know he says yes often, too. I don't know what to do anymore. I know that if we keep giving in, the situation will never get better because they have no reason for it to get better. One brother is so lazy and has been getting unemployment for the past year or two. He can't get it anymore, so he just calls and harrasses his mother for money instead of looking for a job. I am at a complete loss and have no idea what to do. My husband always asks if they were our kids, would I just let them live on the streets and not help? I don't know what the answer is because I've never been in that situation. Obviously, I would want to do anything and everything for my children, which is how he feels about his brothers. Any advice you could offer would be helpful. Thank you for your time.
movinggreen
I think everybody have themself's life, you can help them the first ,the second, but not the all life. you should let your husband know this.

life is magic, everybody should to experience yourself, others can not instead.

wish you have a happy day.

[img]http://www.godbabyclub.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/1000x/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/1/_/1_3_12.jpg[/img]
episkopos
This must be really stressful.
Talk more to your husband. He has helped enough and should not feel guilty if he can't help anymore. We are personally responsible for the decisions we take in this life and that is what his brothers must realize. Like moovinggreen said, he cannot take care of them all their lives.
All the best.
spearson1937
My first time to read your thread, I don't know if your problem has been resolved but I hope that you and your husband were able to come up with decision. Just to share my two-cents, it's okay to help if your husband's siblings were minors. Unfortunately, they are old enough to fend for themselves. You will not be able to build your own family, if your husband will continue giving in to their requests. Talk to your husband about it and point out that now that he is married, you should be his top priority and not his brothers.
DonaldX
It is very important to work and save for the future of our kids.The wise thing to do is TO save your money in the bank.As a parent,it is our responsibility to give and sustain their basic needs.We should offer comfort and prepare for their education as well.As a parent we should give our kids an enough allowance granted to them.See more at:https://personalmoneynetwork.com/payday-loans/
californiawills01
To save the money in the bank for the future of our kids
As a parent's,it is our responsibility to give and sustain their basic needs.
you should prepare for their education as well.
kaufenpreis
Thank you for your story!
martabendixen
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