Mar 14 2012, 08:53 PM
I started being molested at age five by my then nine year old brother. It started out as curiosity I'm sure. Most children play the "I'll show you mine" game at some point out of sheer curiosity of the opposite sex. However it went quickly from showing to touching, then on to forced oral sex. I was never raped although I do remember one day when I was 10 and he was 14, my brother had a friend over and they tried to rape me but I screamed and they quickly stopped for fear of being found out. I moved at age 13 putting an end to the abuse. Chalked it up as normal childhood experimentation. When my mother and brother moved to where I was living a year later making my brother 18 and fully aware of his choices, he would get drunk and make advances toward me that I successfully resisted. He is very big and strong and was extremely violent when he got angry. Never toward me, for I was careful not to upset him. This is why I at 23 had never told anyone about the abuse. I did everything possible to make him happy because I was terrified of him. But also because I loved him. He was the only one that had been there and experienced my childhood and knew all I'd been through with my mother and father both on meth. My mother's abusive boyfriends, my fathers extreme paranoia. The relationship I showed people was that of loving siblings. I moved to a new town, got married, had a baby and was extremely happy some of the time. A lot of the time I was defensive and depressed and short tempered. Fearful that I was not able to give my daughter the perfect life she deserves I sought counseling a year ago. Admitted the ugly truth to my husband and then my mother. Both were shocked but believed me none the less. Until I recently confronted my mother about her insensivity of the abuse. Over time she started bringing up my brother to me, then taking his calls while at my house, making me feel very uncomfortable and somewhat disrespected. I told her how I felt and she responded by saying that he has denied everything and that I must be making this up. She said I needed to get help(which is the reason I came out with it to begin with) and went as far as to say she was ashamed that I am her daughter. I know it must be hard to face or admit but I didn't see this coming. Initially she cried and said she was sorry she didn't know or she would have protected me. Now out of nowhere she is accusing me of being the bad guy. I am at a loss as to what I should do next. I have tried to reason with her and explain my view, but I'm met with nothing but horrible and hurtful responses. We havent spoken in nearly 3 weeks, should I just keep it that way?