Apr 4 2011, 12:12 PM
Hello, I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, he has shared with me recently that he was sexually abused by his older brother. His brother is 3 years older than him and he was molested from as far back as he can remember until he was 13. it is ruining our relationship, I feel as if I need to help him but I don't have a clue how to. Because of this he has done is best to block out any feelings, he has been addicted to drugs (pills). any advice will help. please and thank you.
Apr 5 2011, 06:20 PM
Hello, I hope you & your bf are ok... I think the best thing for him to do is to go to counselling. Sometimes its free & its very helpful. I am a survivor of sexual abuse & its a difficult thing to go through. When I was teenager I blocked out my memories for years...I also did pills & had sex & was just a bad kid. Then It all came back after I stopped doing drugs & I grew up. I began to hate my step dad, who was my abuser. & then I hated my mom, who knew about it but just let it happen. I went to counselling a few yrs ago & its helped me so much.
& when he hurts you emotionally or let's the abuse conquer your relationship, try to remember that he's just hut & angry @ the situation not you. I put my husband through that so I know how you would feel. Stay trong & maybe suggest he joins here & tells his story. I found that very happy.
Apr 9 2011, 05:56 PM
Thank you so much for replying.. everything is going down hill.. and its going fast. I have talked to him about gettin help but he said something about that if he went to counseling but they half to report any sexual abuse to the police...Im not sure if its true or not...did they report it to the police when you told them what happend to you??
Apr 10 2011, 05:39 PM
Thanks for writting back. I have actually not reported the abuse.... Itd just cause too much problems amungst my family. But when I was @ my therapists she said that she didn't legal have to report it because there were no children under 16 living under my stepdads roof. He was my abuser, & he did have a son from a previous marriage but he was 18 & didn't live with him. But keep in mind I live in canada so the laws might be different.
But you can look it up online. Hopefully he figures out what he wants to do soon...if you want any information or support please let me know.
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