im so confused
ive been having some flash back memories of when i was a child
im terrified to admit it to anyone but i think i was sexual abused as a child
i remember being in the bathroom and a man came in and i wanted to pull my pants up cos i knew id get in trouble but i feel like i couldn't for some reason and i remember his finger nails and how square and short they where.
i have being having issues trying to make my self remember the whole incident.
i started having panic attacks when i was around 13 and every time it happens in a bathroom mostly if the bathroom is steamy. i also cant force my memory back to see who it was and what happened really. i know it makes me hyperventilate to try and i start feeling terrified and like i need to escape when i do
please help me i dont know what to do im 18 nearly 19 and this is starting to destroy me again i dont know if i want to remember it. my skin itchys and crawls when i try and i want to cry and punch some thing all at once , then my stomach hurts and im terrified.
last night i woke up in the middle of the night nearly crying in terror because i thought some one was in my room i know i was dreaming of something but i cant remember but that terror was real.
im not a big shareing person and i dont like telling people about my problems or person things but i really do need some help
is it worth remembering?