Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: Tacking Care Of A Mother And Father Inlaw
Family Forums > Family Life And Health Forums > Senior Issues Forum
I have been married 27yrs to my husband. We are farmers and live directly opposite his mother and father on our own farm. The problem is that for the past 20 odd years his mother and father have hated me. They kicked us off the family farm when we got married and from then on its been hell.. His father called my family a bunch of parasites and his mother laughed at me when I didnt have any clothes to wear at xmas following the birth of my daughter and had to wear one of my husbands shirts.. since that time I have raised four children ..the eldest with an intellectual disability , one who is a lawyer ..the other is studying veterinary science and one still in high school.

They are both aging. My husband has a sister and brother. HIs sister moved down and asked from some land so she could move here to take care of her parents as they aged...the other son lives next door on the next farm and has his own business... My husband and I share farm with his parents. All we ever hear about is how much money they spend on expenses and all his dad does is complain. If it was up to me I would have left years ago..but I have stuck it out for my family and now they are getting old..

Over xmas I had to care for my disabled daugher, my husband who was flat on his back with injury and mother inlaw who couldnt breathe and was having heart problems and his father also ended up in hospital... On the night before my husband left hospital I had chest pains... the stress of caring for everybody but myself was getting to me..we went on holiday andleft the rest of the family to it... since we have been back we get calls at any time to rush over because one of them has had a fall or has a blood nose or something is wrong. I take her to her doctors appointments ..I cook , I wash the laundry and I shower her when the other sister inlaw is away..

My husbands sister is now cooking meals every day but has me fill in when she cant which is about once a week...

I am beginnning to feel resentment and regret. over all the years I have never been rude or faced them with all the horrible things they did.. my own family missed out on seeing me at weddings and birthdays and we have spent one xmas in 27 yrs with them because my husband would not go to the city which is ony 3 hours away.

Am I wrong in feeling this way... my sister inlaw makes everyone think on facebook she is the only one doing stuff... shehas no idea..she has no children and only thinks about herself ..but I cant stop feeling resentful towards his mum , dad and sister..
No Kohia. I think that you are saying right. It should be not be like this. I mean till now the things which you have faced up in your life should not happen in this way and I have full sympathy towards you. In fact your father in law and mother in law misbehave with you but you did not replied and give them the required care which was needed by them. I wan to tell you that you have to forget all the things which happen in past in your life. Start your life in a new way and let them know that you are not from bunch of parasites you have proved yourself for them very caring till now. I hope you would continue to do that. One more things which i would like to ask from you that are there any specific reason that why not your husband did went to your home in 27 years?
I salute you for being a martyr and staying strong. How could your husband not stand up for you and your family? You know, if possible, you should speak with them and discuss your family issues. Hope everything will turn for the better.
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Invision Power Board © 2001-2018 Invision Power Services, Inc.