i thought id write on here to try to help myself and maybe others who have experienced sexual abuse............im surprised im still here to tell my story.........many times ive wanted to end my life...........but having my kids and the love i have for them has kept me alive...........from the age of 3..........my mother was a prostitute and shed sold me to 5 peodofiles...all at the same time........i didnt no this until about 3 months ago............what i did no is that my 2 eldest brothers were abusing me from the age of five...........this is what i remember now............i no there is more to come out..........as even though i no all this......theres still pieces missing from my life...........my family wont tell me anything to help me heal...........im alone except for my kids.......... my two friends.........and my counsellor...........some days life dont seem to be worth living.........but all that i had done to me...........i couldnt leave my kids with the knowledge that there mum had killed herself...........my life is worth more to them............than it is to me...............my abuse has effected them terribly.............as ive been on anti depressants for 20 yrs in between my pregancies............id rather pop a pill...............than risk my family having to loose ther mum.............some days its so hard and such a lonely road i walk.............i am hoping joining this forum will help me feel normal.............