I have no idea how to get repressed memories back. I know they're commonly repressed because our emotions are overwhelmed and the memories are traumatic for us thus we dissociate from them to protect ourselves. You have to remember that the reason you don't remember is because your trying to protect yourself. It's nothing to do with us or any failings we have it's our bodies natural and innate attempts to protect itself. I know it can be frustrating and kind of backfire in the regard that it ends up hurting rather than helping because we can't remember. But that's the reason it happens. And one way to re-discover them is to explore the emotions and use them as a link to that time to recover the memories. But a really good therapist is your best course of action. I personally have no experience with repressed memories. I mean I have them; I can't remember the majority of my childhood and I know painful things have happened to me that I can't remember. But I have no desire to bring them back. Everyone is different though maybe you need to bring them back for yourself. But that isn't something your going to be able to do easily, alone, or at this time so don't focus on it. First you need to begin dealing with some of your current problems such as freezing up so you can effectively interact with a really good therapist who can help walk you through remember your past.
As for freezing up and light headedness, not being able to control yourself, that I do have experience with. And you get around it exactly like you have already. Anyway that you can. You've found that you can get around it through messages so capitalize on that. Give yourself time to think and let yourself be in a controlled situation when you respond. My easiest time was through messages as well. So long as the contact wasn't face to face or where I couldn't hear their voice or prefferably wasn't even real time it let me remain in control otherwise I'd just fall apart. So I know you said you had a counsellor but you need a therapist so get a therapist, a really good one your comfortable with and genuinely feel can help you and then write them a message if that's your only way to talk to them. Build on that method and eventually you'll come to a time when you can begin to talk to them face to face and move on from there. It's hard but as soon as you can begin to control yourself in face to face conversation you'll get better at it everytime you talk to someone.
I also found exploring my emotions, feelings, problems on my own and talking about them with myself was really helpful. Because there was a time when I was the only person I could interact with to help myself. Everytime I even thought about therapy little own asking someone for help I had a panic attack. I never had much luck asking people for help. I asked my parents once but their response, the last one they gave when I reached out to them when I was first suicidal, kind of traumatized me. Not necessarily the words used but rather the actions that they didn't want to help that they abandoned me and I honestly couldn't handle that again so since I couldn't handle it again and my body knew it I froze up everytime I thought about it. Yes it'd of helped if I could have gotten help earlier. I'd of had more of my life to enjoy. But it wasn't that I needed to go to therapy and get help; it wasn't that I needed to force myself to do that. I needed to be ready to accept help because the reason I froze up is because I couldn't. I wasn't ready for help even though I needed it and wanted it and to get it I really needed to be ready for it. I was still stuck in the past and wasn't ready to move on. I think that all applies to you to. You don't need to find a way to force yourself to therapy you need to find a way to be ready for help. So why aren't you ready for help. What issues complicate matters for you?
For me the majority of it was trust issues, abandonment issues, and an extremely intense fear. The fear is different for everyone. I think one of the main reasons I was so afraid is because that time I was rejected by my parents I went suicidal so the way I took it is that it was life threatening if I asked for help and someone turned me down because that's what happened. I asked for help, was rejected, and my life was threatened as a result. I was mainly afraid of being hurt. Irrational perhaps. But it is normal and it was the way I was so I couldn't reject it I had to accept it and deal with it.
I would also suggest a good starting place is to read the book "Waking the Tiger Healing Trauma" by Peter A. Levine. It's a good pioneering book on dealing with trauma. And that's the reason you freeeze up. Because your traumatized and freezing up is completely normal. While it is a problem you also have to understand that it's a normal response the body has.
If you want to talk more I'm here.