Okay so, Im going to try to sum this up as short as possible. First off let me say that I myself was abused as a child, sexually, for many years. I do not have a relationship with my mother to this day because I told her about it and she didnt protect me, she is still with the man in fact.
So, present day, I am 26 with a 2 year old daughter. I have found the love of my life, a wonderful christain man, and we are supposed to be married in just 4 weeks. Everything was going great, until his 6 year old son came to visit this last weekend.
I was making dinner and the two kids were supposed to be playing in her room. They were so quiet so I went in there and they were in the closet. when i opened it his pants were down and he jerked them up really fast and she was on the floor and thought it was funny when i opened the door (she still has no idea he was trying to do something wrong). when i immediatly ask what is going on she says "were playing a bad game" he says "nothing". so i grabbed her out and just left the room, closing the door. i didnt know what to do at this first discovery, i was so upset i was shaking, but tried to stay calm because i knew i had to find out exactly what was going on.
I took her into the living room and she immediately thought she was in trouble. i explained to her she wasnt and she had to tell me what happened. she jsut kept saying they were playing a "bad game"..and then that he had told her not to tell her mommy because it was a bad game. she said she did not see or touch his "pee pee" which i believe because THANK GOD i DID stop it before it happened. but his pants were down and she didnt see it bc it was dark in the closet.
anyways, after talking to her and his dad got back home (i called him to come right home), we tried talking to the boy. he was upset. crying and i personally think he was only crying for his dads sympathy and bc he knew he was in big trouble. he eventually calmed down and answereed our questions. this is what he said:
*hes adament that he "made up" this game
*he used to play it with his other sister when they were 4 and 5 years old and they would "take turns doing things to each other"
*no adult has ever done that to him
*he doesnt know where he learned it other than he made up the game himself
*he "was going to touch her but couldnt get her dress off and then i came in before he could"
*had never done that before to her. (which i believe bc it was the only time he'd been alone with her)
So, I called the police, they gave me phone numbers of some councilling places, but that was it. HIs dad took him home so that things here could cool down, as emotions are still really high here. It was hard for his dad to take him home, as he only sees him every other weekend, but he knew he had to. I am obviously sick about this, as i feel that I didnt protect my daughter, i have always been so worried about finding a MAN for me that i could trust not to do that to her, that i didnt ever fathom a child doing it to her!
And now we are 2 days later, my fiance' and i dont know what to do. I am mad that he didnt punish him at all, no spanking, nothing. he wants to rationalize and make excuses for him such as "hes a kid" BUT at the same time he knows that normal "kids play" doesnt mean telling the other child "this is a bad game dont tell your mom". so idk what to do. im beside myself. i know ill never trust that boy around my duaghter again, and we already decided we will have to get him from now on when she is gone at her dads. so how could we ever be a family??? we have our whole wedding planned, and are very much in love and now this it is truely a tragedy to our whole family. i pray someone has some advice for us! god bless