Jan 17 2011, 07:26 PM
I am not sure what can be done here but I don't really know where to start. I was molested by a friends uncle starting when I was about 8 years old. I am now 45 and male. The molestation was by him and my friend and another friend that lived near by. I now have some fetishes of cross dressing and strapons and generally being dominated. I am sure it started with the molestation but it feels like my life is spinning out of control at times and its all I can think about. I am at a total loss as to where to start and have thought many times about seeing a doctor, but to be honest the thought of seeing some one and talking about it scares the hell out of me. I recently talked to an old girl friend that was molested at a young age also and that is the only reason I have tried this avenue. any thoughts or advice? Thanks
Jan 18 2011, 09:28 AM
The best advice is to set up an appointment with an experienced therapist and then be open and honest; struggle to learn about yourself and better yourself.
And being afraid isn't a reason to not seek help it's just another problem to overcome. Whenever I used to think about getting help seeing a therapist or just talking about myself I'd have a panic attack. I'd just loose control, completely loose reality, and everything would fall apart. I don't know if your just scared or actually get panic attacks like myself but what I found really helped was just figuring out why I reacted like I did and counteracting it. Waiting until I recovered and going back again. That worked for me because I have an affinity for being able to learn from my mistakes and change. And eventually I got to the point where I could overpower it. I was still terrified at the thought I still wanted to run but I didn't. I couldn't even force myself to think but over time it got easier. Fear subsided as I learnt there was nothing to fear. Shame subsided as I learnt not to blame myself.
So. Why are you afraid?
As for where to start, you might as well start with why your afraid to talk about it. I was lost as to where to start for a long time. For years I was just helplessly spinning around constantly looking for this one thing that would change and fix everything just jumping from problem to problem never really dealing with anything. But there isn't just one thing to change and perhaps that's the best thing. Because if there was just one thing to do we probably couldn't do it. So what you do is you pick one problem and fix it then move onto another problem and fix it and then another and so on and so on. And sooner or later the problems fixed begin to outweigh the ones still left.