Jan 10 2011, 09:24 PM
It started with sexual abuse. I asked him to stop and he claimed he didn't hear me, moved to I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you, and moved to So what if I heard you? I said I didn't mean to hurt you. I started making a report in October and he threatened me on a number of levels. Our arguments started turning physical after that. We were arguing and he pushed me hard enough that I fell and got a concussion. The second time he elbowed me in the face after an argument and gave me a bloody nose. I was then in the hospital not long after that for a health problem and didn't hear from him for three days. We made up a week later, and he disappeared again. No contact. I finally couldn't take it anymore. I left him and I reported it.
Reporting this has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I know it's a long road, and he will do the things he threatened he would, I'm sure... but it's awful. I hate feeling this way. I'm tired, not concentrating and I'm losing weight. I try to do so much good for so many people. I can't understand how this can happen to good people. I know I started the fights... but as I go through my therapy I'm starting to blame myself less. Everyone says they try to make you feel badly and place blame on you. I suppose I'm starting to see that. I guess through the sexual and physical abuse I didn't realize the emotional abuse that accompanied it. I live my life in fear, and it's so easy to hear a friend talk about something and give them advice... but when it's you the right thing is clouded by nervousness and confusion.
Jan 11 2011, 07:11 AM
It's never easy to deal with something like you have had to go through but its important to be strong and realize that you didn't do anything it doesn't matter who started the fight he never should of shoved you or anything. And he is just making excuses for not hearing you say stop or that it hurt he's doing that to make himself feel better. Go on with reporting it and don't let anyone get to you your doing the right thing and dont ever blame yourself. i know its hard to take your own advice but try to take baby steps with it like talking to someone who is fully gonna listen and maybe give some of that advice to you that you've given to them in the past.
Jan 11 2011, 08:40 AM
first off, good for you for leaving and getting out the situation you were in. Secondly, you will learn more and more that this is not your fault, even if you did start the fights he still had NO RIGHT to hurt you in anyway. I am also a survivor of sexual abuse and its so hard but its so worth it to deal with it and continue to get help. You also did a great thing by reporting it, that just doesnt happen ofen enough i find. i wish i would have reported it when i was a kid. but no matter what you do you have to stay strong and confide in your therapist as much as possible to deal with your issues and concerns. beleive me its damn hard dealing with what youve been through but its so worth it in the end to have confidence and self worth again. good luck and stay strong
Jan 18 2011, 08:00 PM
Hi, sometimes because we love this man we dont notice that an abuse is occuring..i can feel the pain that you have now, so much for this pain and move on, you deserve to be happy and live peacefully... this is not your fault remember that. okay! may god bless you always..
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