i have been with my girl friend 5 years now ,she was molested,by her brother for a number of years ,until the family moved away after her graduation of high school. she has not told her parents about this and still believes her father will kill her brother if he ever found out. she is now 45 years old and a alcohalic,she has been to counseling and keeps saying that she is going to tell her father and start dealing with the problem.mean while that has not happened and unless she is drinking and drunk sex is no way going to happen between us.which dosn`t help our relationship and causes to many fights and break ups between us ,she keeps telling me she loves me and i love her and would like alittle more time with her when she is not drinking. now she is staying with some friends that are trying to sober her up and get her some help. what to we do and were do we go ??????

Well first off if she's already seeing a therapist consult the therapist about what to do considering her alcoholism. They should be able to help the most.

If she's unwilling to do that I found a website that should help alot as I've never personally dealt with alcoholism. On ehow look up the article how to recover from alchol abuse.(I can't post the link) As the website says. See a doctor, admit the problem, and take it from there. So read the website and get some advice from it. There are alot of different reasons why someone can be an acholic so be careful the website tries to list all the ways to recover. But if you two consult a professional they will help you to find a way that's specialized to her problems.

The one thing that I can offer is that if she dosn't change but keeps expressing a desire to then you should leave, you'll feel like your abandoning her but sometimes people like this need a wake up call. And by staying with her even though you act like a good influence in her life, regardless of your actions, your presence is a negative influence. Because that safety of you, the subconscious approval that your still with her, encourages her to stay the same. If you do leave though be honest, you still love her but just can't deal with her alcholism and why you can't. I don't think you'll need to leave if she's actively trying to recover but just keep that in mind incase things change. I hope that helps, good luck.

And counselling for molestation dosn't help much if she's an alcholic. So deal with the alcholism first, get a therapist for that, and then deal with the molestation.