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Full Version: My Girlfriend Was... Raped?
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keejay
Ok... Just a little bit of info as to how I found out about it (which was today, by the way).

So, we were making out in my car like we've been doing before, but things got a bit heavier. My hand went down to her pants and blah blah blah. She said 'not under the pants'. I complied, like the excellent boyfriend I am (well look at me being all egotistical). About twenty minutes later she said 'so I suppose you're wondering why I didn't want you to do that.' I told her 'well, kinda'. She then explained to me how she's not actually a virgin, but she's had sex only once before -- she was raped. By a family member.

And on top of all that, her father was an abusive alcoholic.

So, what do I do?

I don't know how I can make her see that there aren't JUST bad people in the world. I don't know how I can make it better, and when I was trying to talk all I could say was 'i'm so sorry' over and over again. maybe I was a bit overwhelmed?

Advice?
notalone
QUOTE (keejay @ Oct 23 2010, 08:50 PM) *
Ok... Just a little bit of info as to how I found out about it (which was today, by the way).

So, we were making out in my car like we've been doing before, but things got a bit heavier. My hand went down to her pants and blah blah blah. She said 'not under the pants'. I complied, like the excellent boyfriend I am (well look at me being all egotistical). About twenty minutes later she said 'so I suppose you're wondering why I didn't want you to do that.' I told her 'well, kinda'. She then explained to me how she's not actually a virgin, but she's had sex only once before -- she was raped. By a family member.

And on top of all that, her father was an abusive alcoholic.

So, what do I do?

I don't know how I can make her see that there aren't JUST bad people in the world. I don't know how I can make it better, and when I was trying to talk all I could say was 'i'm so sorry' over and over again. maybe I was a bit overwhelmed?

Advice?



She needs to see a therapist. It's the only way. Trust me.
myturnnow
i think itd be good for the 2 of you to maybe go to counselling together (as well as her going alone). Also, if she'll let you, try and get her to talk about it. i was not in her situtation but in a similar one and the best thing for me was to talk about it. just venting about what happened will probably help her open up so she can deal with it rather than keep it in. you are very brave and obviously a great boyfriend for coming on here to help her smile.gif so good for you !!
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