Okay, so this is going to be a long way, so please hang in there with me :-) ...
I am a 23-year-old woman whose mother has been struggling with substance abuse her entire life. My parents divorced when I was 7, and my mother remarried when I was 13. This man was verbally and emotionally abusive to myself, my mother, and my brothers. Just an example of this lovely man's behavior: I used to get sick whenever I was around cigarette smoke and he would smoke outside of my bedroom door when he was mad at me. Things like that. Fun, fun.
When I was 15, my mother decided to move me in with my father. She began going out, partying, and using heavier than I've ever seen during this time. I don't know the exact substances, but I know she abused prescription medication and (I THINK) meth. When I was almost 16, she left and she never came back. I went to prom, graduated high school, moved off to university, got engaged, graduated from university, and got married without ever hearing from her. I made attempts to contact her, but I never heard back. Earlier this year (over 5 years since I'd heard from her), she made contact with me in a text message. I responded and gave her my e-mail address.
We e-mailed back and forth, and she requested to be my friend on Facebook (what?!). I accepted and that has pretty much been the extent of our relationship (Facebook and e-mail).
I explained to her in an e-mail after we'd e-mailed back and forth a couple of times that I wasn't happy with this. I felt like she hadn't acknowledged what she had done and I felt offended that she just waltzed back into my life and expected everything to be the same. I had been through a lot since I'd talked to her (the aforementioned activities, and I also had severe anorexia nervosa from 16-20 years old, and I was violently raped at 19). I told her these things, but she just didn't seem to grasp that I was upset with her. She wasn't there for the good or bad, and all she could say was "oh that's terrible" and "I went through a lot and don't want to expose you to all of it". That was supposed to solve it.
We have continued to e-mail and I am just sick of it. I'm sick of her acting like she's done nothing wrong and she was doing me a favor by leaving. I have an extremely hard time with confrontation though and I hate making people feel bad. It's not that I want to do either of those things, I just want her to realize what she did to me. She doesn't and I don't feel like I can move forward or forgive her until she does. I just don't know how to go about that. Everytime I get an e-mail from her or see a status update from her on Facebook, I get angry. Just the other day, this was her status: "I love karma because I love seeing the people that have hurt you get what they deserve". Are you ####ing serious? I was THIS close to unfriending her right then.
This has been a really long post lol, and I'm sorry. I just don't know what I should do. Any tips would be superb. Thank you for reading!