I am new but I owuld like to share my story. I feel it is a unique one but I strongly hope it is not. I am 35 years old and a wife and mother of 4 boys.

When I was 10 my father molested me on several occations for the most part drunk occations. This went on for close to a year. I was afraid to tell my mother who just gave birth to my baby sister. I always packed my bags each night it happend as if I was going to run away. My aunt moved in our home and she loved my father as a brother. They were very close. In a druken stupor he did not close the door one night and she saw him. She got her gun and told he to get off of me. She later told me she was afraid to shoot him for fear of hurting me even more. She did not tell my mother but later told me she confronted my mother on sevarl occations conerning the fact the my father often slept in my room with the door closed. My mother would never acknoledge anything was wrong. I told my mother and she acted like it was news to her. I think more so because she knew my other family members would find out. I remember vague images of the police department and hospital. My father left town. My mom was very sad and said I broke up our family. I woke up one morning and my father was back, walking aorund as if nothing happened and told me my mother said I lied. So I did feel powerless. My father lived in our home secretly and when family members came over he hide in the bedroom. The abuse continued for another year until another aunt found out he had moved back in with us. My father again left town and would periodically visit and at times live in the same city where he would rent a roon boarding house. My mom had 2 more kids by him. We spent the night over his place and I remember my mom sleeping in between us and at times he would touch me and my mom would say "----- shes sleeping". Eventually my father left town again the longest ever I guess because he was incareserated in Ohio. He worte to my mother when I was 24. Asking her for money which she sent him from her ADC check. My sisters were all teens. She always told them how great he was. And how it was a great time living with him. I told my sister what happened and why I was not happy that they commnuicated. Of course once he was released he did not cintact her again. My mother was upset but never appraoched me about it. My mother has always treated me different has always been mean to my children. I guess I was a necarasssy evil for her because if she needed something or the girls needed to go to the doctor or school she would always depend on me. I am so angry at my mother. I later contacted my father (while in prison again) when I was in councelling and he simplytold me dont blem him for my trounbles and he has been through counseling for any damges he did to my life and to basically get over it. I never contacted him again. No one wants to talk about it(family members). No one ever approached me about talking about it. I never volunteered to talk only the one time with my sisters. I am tired of trying to get my mother to love me. Now that I show my anger concerning it my mom is trying to turn my sisters gainst me and plays the victim if that is possible. We are all estranged at this point. One of my sisters feels like should get over it and why have I not acted angry all these years? Another one trys to stay out of it. The youngest is torn. Ive told them the mother you know is not the mother I had and sh does not ackowledge that she did a great injustice to me. So I am force to believe
maybe she isnt sorry.

wow... i cannot beleive how similar our stories are. i am also having issues with my mother. she acts like shes the victim and that everyone should feel bad for her rather than me who was abused by her husband! im so sorry that your family reacted so harshly. itd be hard to have all different reactions from your family members. i cant beleive that your father said the things he did too... again reminds me of my step dad. he admitted to about 75% of what he did but said that it was my fault and that i wanted it and asked for it. i was 6 years old... disgusting. i think its the most horrible when your mother knows, the one person who is suppose to always support and care for you, the one person youd think you can trust. and my mom did similar things as yours. she knew what was going on because i told her when i was 6 but she just ignored it and acted like nothing was wrong. shed leave me alone at home with him for hours and wonder why i got grounded when she came back, id purposbly be a bitch to him so hed leave me alone. i also feel terrible for your kids. do you know what happened to you? i hate to say this but its almost like your mom treats you and your family crappy because she was jealous that you got more attention from your father than she did. if that makes sense... well i hope you coming to this site and telling your story really helps you. and please dont be shy about telling your story and what happened to you. stay strong