I hope that whoever is reading this knows that I am really grateful for any kind of help. I am struggling with abuse that occurred when I was 8-10 by my older brother. I haven't been able to tell anyone and think maybe he was sexually abused by a relative or family friend himself...I have never asked. Sometimes I feel like just running from the great life that I have to a different country and never speaking to any of my relatives or family again...because I have such deep pain. I have forgiven my brother over the years and know he wasn't trying to hurt me but I don't want to have relationships with any of my family. I am really trying to figure out how to overcome the pain because I think its going to ruin my life eventually. I am a student in my last year of college (can't believe I was able to get this far)....have no desire for intimate relationships and feel I will never be able to trust anyone. I also know that most of my relatives and family wouldn't understand if I were to tell any of them. They are very twisted people.

hello, i know the pain you feel and its very hard to forgive someone so thats a start to healing. but you should look into a counselor or support groups on campus for abuse. a lot of colleges have them and they can help alot so can a counselor your old enough now that your family shouldn't have to be informed on it. and it can be really hard to trust someone after everything thats happened to you. but not all people are bad after my grandfather and i had our run ins i turn men off completely i didn't like to be alone around them at all but what you realize is that everyone is different and some people are great people to talk to and be supportive. the boyfriend i found now is an awesome listener. find someone who you feel you can talk to and will listen a best friend, a counselor, support group, even a teacher that you get along with they could point you to the schools counselor and help. i hope everything gets better.

Thank you I am sorry you are a survivor. I wish this would never happen to anyone. I found a little hope after reading your post, I hope to find a person one day who will understand what has happened to me and won't judge me. I am grateful for your post.

Your welcome and you will find someone who will understand. There are a lot of great people out there who either know what you went through or can be supportive. I wish it wouldn't happen either but it does. But that doesn't mean we have to let it end our lives let it make you a stronger person for being able to survive it and finish college.

Hey there, I'm new here tonight. I signed up to reply to you. I read the first few lines of your post and thought that I was reading my own bio. I was 8-12 when my own brother did this to me. I know he was abused too. He's a drug addict and sociopath and refuses help. He's stolen untold amounts of things from me and the family over the years to fuel his habit.
Myself, I've never been able to keep a relationship past a few months. I've felt unbearable loneliness and helplessness over the years. I've gotten continued counseling over the years and finally told my family about it 3 years ago. It never leaves you but when and if you can learn coping techniques, please do. If you have any close friends, confide in them. You won't believe how understanding close friends can be, as well as a building block for your future.
All I can say is hang in there, you're not alone. Be well.

Your welcome and you will find someone who will understand. There are a lot of great people out there who either know what you went through or can be supportive. www.wellbridal.com www.wellbridal.com
I wish it wouldn't happen either but it does. But that doesn't mean we have to let it end our lives let it make you a stronger person for being able to survive it and finish college.

i was also that age and told noone till i was in my 30s but ive dealt with it in my own way , i strongly advise counciling it would be a great support for you xxxx hugs