QUOTE (Floatinghopeful @ Aug 11 2010, 12:13 AM)
I hope that whoever is reading this knows that I am really grateful for any kind of help. I am struggling with abuse that occurred when I was 8-10 by my older brother. I haven't been able to tell anyone and think maybe he was sexually abused by a relative or family friend himself...I have never asked. Sometimes I feel like just running from the great life that I have to a different country and never speaking to any of my relatives or family again...because I have such deep pain. I have forgiven my brother over the years and know he wasn't trying to hurt me but I don't want to have relationships with any of my family. I am really trying to figure out how to overcome the pain because I think its going to ruin my life eventually. I am a student in my last year of college (can't believe I was able to get this far)....have no desire for intimate relationships and feel I will never be able to trust anyone. I also know that most of my relatives and family wouldn't understand if I were to tell any of them. They are very twisted people.
Hey there, I'm new here tonight. I signed up to reply to you. I read the first few lines of your post and thought that I was reading my own bio. I was 8-12 when my own brother did this to me. I know he was abused too. He's a drug addict and sociopath and refuses help. He's stolen untold amounts of things from me and the family over the years to fuel his habit.
Myself, I've never been able to keep a relationship past a few months. I've felt unbearable loneliness and helplessness over the years. I've gotten continued counseling over the years and finally told my family about it 3 years ago. It never leaves you but when and if you can learn coping techniques, please do. If you have any close friends, confide in them. You won't believe how understanding close friends can be, as well as a building block for your future.
All I can say is hang in there, you're not alone. Be well.