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nana1234
my boyfriend was molested as a teen. i believe he was 13 years old. our issue is that we hardly have sex. he says it is because he feels shut down and disgusted by the thought. when we do have any sexual contact we just masturbate. then he says he often feels upset afterwards and sometimes he doesn't.

at the beginning of our relationship we had great sex. now it has been almost 3 years in the relationship and i feel i am not getting my needs met. we are very open about the topic and have great communication. he was been upfront with me since day one.

we love eachother very much and don't want to end the relationship. i have been very supporting but now i just dont know what to do. it is at a point where i am tired of being supportive and just want some change in his part. is this too much to ask?
notalone
QUOTE (nana1234 @ Jul 11 2010, 11:10 PM) *
my boyfriend was molested as a teen. i believe he was 13 years old. our issue is that we hardly have sex. he says it is because he feels shut down and disgusted by the thought. when we do have any sexual contact we just masturbate. then he says he often feels upset afterwards and sometimes he doesn't.

at the beginning of our relationship we had great sex. now it has been almost 3 years in the relationship and i feel i am not getting my needs met. we are very open about the topic and have great communication. he was been upfront with me since day one.

we love eachother very much and don't want to end the relationship. i have been very supporting but now i just dont know what to do. it is at a point where i am tired of being supportive and just want some change in his part. is this too much to ask?



Of course it's not too much to ask. It sounds like you can appreciate his pain and are supportive. He needs to get some counseling asap. Trust me. I've had extreme difficulty sometimes over the years with women because of what happened to me. Counseling has helped a lot. It doesn't fix anything or take it away but it gives much more understanding.
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