Hello I am 26 yrs old and have been engaged to my finacee "Mike" (24) for about 2.5 years now. About a year ago he got prescribed Oxycontin for his back pain. At first the pills seemed to really help as we were able to go on trips and walks and he was pain free. It wasn't until recently that I noticed a change in him (well about the past 6 mths). To make a loooonnnggg story short, through snooping and eves dropping on his conversations I found out that he was not only severly addicted to his pills but had spent ALL of the money in his checking account about $2000 and stole about $600 from a secret stash I had hidden away so he could buy pills. At the time when I found this out he was prescribed 90 60mg pills a month more than enough to get him through the month. After I had confronted him multiple times he eventually confessed to his problem and I now have control over his pills. I am just having a really hard time and I need some advice on how to deal with this personally. How do I live with the fact the the one person whom I am supposed to be able to trust has lied to my face on multiple occasion and has stolen money from me? He is still hanging out with this friends that are also addicts and truly believes that the one is his "best friend" even though "MIke" has to give him a pill each time they hang out. Ugh. Please some advice. I find myself getting angry at him and resenting him for all of the pain he has caused me. I want to be with him but I just don't know how I can. HELP.

He must accept and participate in a professional rehab, nothing you can do will change him. Dr Susan Holman has written about inadequate dopamine levels and the primitive mind which will give you a better understanding of the disease component. Co-occuring disorders are quite common and a good rehab facility will dig to find the mental components in about a 3 month time span. He needs new friends in a NarAnon group after rehab. I am depressed because my wife of 7 years wouldn't accept any help from me, she committed a felony, lost her job and was placed in a really good rehab facility in Lake Lure, NC. She comes home in 2 weeks, our finances are strained, my trust gone and from all I've learned I only have control over ME. I don't know where Love or Character comes in.