Hi,
I just joined this forum and really need some advice. My fiance and I have been together for almost 9 years and I have gone through about a dozen relapses with him. The last time it happened was two years ago. I was down in FL celebrating my 50th birthday and my 2 daughters called to tell me that he was acting strange. He was obviously using at that time and he just spiraled from there - going to rehab about 3 times in 3 months. I told him that if it happened again I was done. He has been clean now for about 2 years, but I really think he has been dabbling in something here and there. So, over the past few weeks I noticed him acting differently - I can pick up on it in a second now. I confronted him on Friday night and he finally admitted to taking pain pills. He is in rehab again and will probably be home in a few days. I told him he has to go on for further treatment - because obviously what he is doing now isn't working. He goes to meetings a few times per week but has never gotten a sponsor or joined a group. I really think he needs to do things differently, but I don't think he wants to. He was upset when I told him he may have to move in with someone else and I said that just because you are doing a stint in rehab for a few days, things are NOT going to be back to normal - it's like putting a band-aid on it. I really think he is just going to continue doing what he does and think that things are fine with us. Well, they aren't! I have lost a lot of feelings for him and DO NOT trust him any more. I found out in January that he was checking out dating sites and actually had a profile up on a few of them. I am torn here - should I kick him out or tell him he can't come back until he does a long term program or do I move out with my girls? They are sick of going through this too!! I think he doesn't want to tell his job about it and I'm sure they have an Employee Assistance Program in place. He just doesn't get it and I really don't think he ever will - he is 56 years old.

Please, I am desperate for some advice/answers.

Thanks,
carolyn