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trustgirl
[b]Ok, I been having a problem with my husband going out with the guys. We have been married for almost 2yrs, and he just got back from Iraq(yes, he is a soldier). But I have been noticing that my anger has gotten worse since I had my daughter, and It just seems that every time he goes out, I lash out on him. I don't know why, but my anger controls me, I lose it! I try to tell him that I hold alot of anger, mostly because he was gone when I was only 5months pregnant, and sadly he wasn't there when we had our daughter. I know it's not fair to hold that grudge upon him, but with that and my past, I just don't know what it is. The funny thing about it is that he basically goes out on Friday nights only, but I tell him that sometimes I want him to be home with us the whole weekend. I guess I thought that once you get married, I expected for him to be more mature and be at home as a family than, going out.s I admit that in my past I had horrible relatioships, and every time either of my past boyfriends went out, it never ended up good(ie. cheating). I know its not fair for me to bring my past emotional distress with my husband, he has never ever given me a reason not to trust him. I don't know what to do, I cry every time we get into an argument, I don't want our marriage to end up in a divorce because of my issue....so if anyone has any advice I can sure use them. Thanks!

sad.gif TrustGirl
Waiting4Healing
Where do you feel like your trust issues are stemming from? Are you insecure about something from your past/present/future? Have you cheated on him before? Did your father cheat on your mother? Just a couple of questions to think about.

Are you getting angry because your jealous that he gets to go out and you don't? Or is it because you feel the baby is his responsibility also? Or could it be that when he goes out on a Friday night it reminds you of him leaving for Iraq. Feeling abandoned without support?

Maybe you should try and go out with some friends every now and then also. Maybe you can find a babysitter for a night and you and him can spend time together. Your daughter is a HUGE part of your family, but you still need to have "You and Him" time.

Simple Anger management tips: When you start to feel the adrenaline take in deep breaths, it seems so simply silly, but the deep breaths will pull in more oxygen to your brain releasing neurotransmitters that will help to calm you down and think logically.

If need be, before starting in an argument/discussion, write it down what you want to say. It gives you time to process your emotion and present it in more of a loving manner. Even taking a short 15 minute walk around the neighborhood will give you time to work out some energy and determine what you want to say to him

Pray about it, pray that God will help you to relieve your anger. Give your anger to God, don't become angry with God, but give him what it is that is bothering you.

Deuteronomy 6:5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

I hope I helped smile.gif

God be with you,
Waiting4Healing
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