I have been suffering for over a year. It have started from an extreme sexual lust... Well, I would feel butterflys
in my stomack, but the person didn't want to do anything with me. I would become anxious... each time I see him, I start nervous, my throat gets dry, my heart start racing, my hands shaking, everything inside me gets so sick.

Time went by, I tryed to move on, but when he would call me I would come. One his move is affecting my mood. He is sweet to me- I am happy. He is mean to me, I am falling in real depression... give up on myself, suiside, lost hunger, eat just bread and drink water.. nothing else is possible to forse myself to swallow. I have lost a lot of waight. I also find a relief in pain.

Most of time I try to live my life.. a normal life... but it is terefying how I can change and fall down because of my addiction to him.. I wish we could be just a normal couple, but he keep messing with my head... with staff like this: We should stay just friends...and next I know, we sleep with each other.. but he is indifferent toward me, and it hurts... and I cannot leave him...I need to see him.. to feel him.
What is it? Can I get over this?