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A dearly beloved family member is moving to an assisted living facility - against her will. She is in the mid stages of senile dementia, and it is not safe for her to live alone. Her daughter, who has been caring for her, does not feel she can do so any longer, which is the reason for the move.
Unfortunately, although the lady understands the need for help in her daily life, she is extremely upset at the prospect of leaving her home. She cries constantly, and her doctor has put her on tranqalizers - which she hates taking!
Has anyone had experience with this?
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Hi Page One! I wish I could give you hope in a positive outcome of this condition but I'm sure you realize what the near future looks like. In a weird kind of fortunate misfortune, my mother's osteoporosis confined her to a wheelchair just as she was opposing the move out of her house. She had mid-stage Alzheimer's disease which caused her to get lost, start fires on her stove, and give her credit card number to buy anything people called to sell her. She had originally planned on assisted living "when the time came" but refused to believe the time had come.

Here's a couple things I I can recommend:
1. Find the best care facility...not just the cheapest. Many new dementia facilities have activities and people trained specifically for this condition.
2. Make sure lots of her stuff is in the room so it looks familiar...bed, blankets/sheets, even old pictures of her and her husband & kids. Make a scrapbook with pictures (plastic cover-not glass), certificates, old driver's license and swatches of fabric from her home.
3. Make sure her purse has a checkbook (deposit slips only), non-credit cards, photos, a dollar and some coins, a set of keys (old) and other familiar things.
4. Ask the doctor about anti-depressants instead of sedatives.

This isn't going to make her feel at home but it may make her a little more comfortable and less confused in her new home. My mother, after being in her care home for about 8 months, had to go to the doctor. While I was driving her back, she asked where we were going, and I said, "I'm taking you home, Mom."

She got very agitated and said she didn't want to go back there. Needless to say, I was heartbroken, thinking I'd put her in a place she hated. When I asked her why, she said, "I don't want to be alone...can't I go to the new place where my friends are?" My Mom had adjusted!

I believe your family member will adjust as well as her condition allows. I'm sure you realize, whether she adjusts or not, this home is temporary, but is the best that can be done considering the circumstances. My mother was there about another year until God took her. Her passing was a real blessing, given how little she was there, mentally, at that point. Well, I hope this has given you something useful.
I dnt have any experience regarding this...But i will advice one thing that she should take proper advice as per the doctor have adviced...
When we realized that we had to place our mom to an assisted living facility, we planned a transition process for her. Started with in home care/ caregiver then assisted living facility and finally to a health care facility (because of Alzheimer's. When we started scouting for different living facilities, we took her with us so that she can compare each. Maybe you should try it too? Research for nursing homes and care centers near your place, weigh out the pros and cons and discuss it with her. Last thing that seniors want is to be treated like children, make them feel involved in the process as much as they can, ask them to write open diaries if possible.
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I'm so sorry your loved family member is having a hard time with assisted living. I would only suggest to try to keep familiar things around her. Keep it as much like home as you can. Visit her as often as you can too. It is a hard thing for a person to give up their independence.
THANKS FOR SHARING THESE INFORMATION smile.gif It is really helpful to those who are asking and in need of it. smile.gif
You should take some positive measures to keep professionals to her this kind of symptom aggressive treatment
You know I totally agree with Riley that when planning to move your loved one to an assisted living facility, a transition process must be planned...bring your loved one along when scouting for different living facilities and solicit his/her opinion. Yes, openly discuss the pros and cons of each visited facility and encourage him/her to share his/her thoughts. When packing the things to bring along, involve him/her in choosing these stuff...familiar things can help him/her adjust to new environment.
And YES never forget to include in your plan a DOABLE regular visiting schedule. smile.gif

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