I can only imagine your nightmare....but believe me, i understand it. your father should have definitely reported the matter to the police. generally, in our mind, when a victim survives an attack, people for some reason don't hold the perpetrator as guilty as in case of where the attack succeeds. for example...if i murder is committed, the murderer is viewed much more guilty than in an attack where the person doesn't succeed in committing the crime. people don't understand that the crime was still committed, irrespective of the result.
your father's reaction is VERY wrong. would he have chosen to ignore the whole thing if your uncle was trying to kill you. did he understand the implications that once a rapist, always a rapist. if not you, he would have definitely tried to rape someone else. he viewed this is protecting the 'honor' of the family. either ways, your father was wrong to take it so lightly.
secondly, regarding what your father's family says that you asked for it...it's a very common thing most sex offenders say to make themselves look less guilty....the victim asked for it....they acted that way...blah blah BS. you tell me...can a 7 yr old ask for sex?? you are right in saying that an adult is supposed to protect you and your so-called uncle broke that test.
coming to your actual problem...it's very obvious what you are feeling....mothers relive their life through their daughters and now that she's 8, you are reliving that nightmare in full force....i think it is PTSD (sorry, im not an expert). my only solution is to enter therapy. from what i understand...you never went to a therapist to overcome your trauma. enter therapy. they would really help you recover it. without it, you never will trust ppl. and NEVER let your daughter meet your father's family. cut them off completely from your life.