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> Oh What Should I Do
silentbob73
post Feb 3 2012, 10:22 AM
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Hi all. Recently my wife came to me and said she wanted a divorce, but still wants to live together for as long our kids are in the house. She says she still loves me and cares for me, but she can't be in a relationship with anyone.
Here is our situation. We have been together for 10 years, married for 6 1/2. Before we got married, we both worked full time and took care of her daughter. After we got married, we got pregnant, and she was put on bedrest. Since that time she has been a stay at home mom for 6 years. Both of our kids are special needs. So even though she doesn't work, she spends a lot of time working with doctors, insurance companies, etc.
We have gone thru some rough patches here and there. Last spring she brought up the divorce word but mentioned getting help. We both agreed to get help, but the whole family got sick and it got put on the back burner. Things were fine until the beginning of this year. I had said something that she took the wrong way. She asked me to leave for a few days and sje would call me and let me know when i could come home. After 24 hours she called me late at night and talked to me, and i could tell she was upset and had been crying. I told her i love her, but made no mention of coming home, since that was her decision. The next day she called again and asked me to come home. When i got home, she said we need to wotk on things. She got really sick and was laid up for 2 weeks. When she was better she came out and said she wanted a divorce. She told me she loves me and cares for me more than anything. I am her best friend. She wants me in the kids life everyday. That is why she wants me to live in the house.
The reason she wants the divorce is that she says i don't "love" her the same way as when we met. I do admit at times i didn't help out around the house as much as a should of. Since i have been home, i have done more around the house and she has thanked me for it.
We talked last night and she said a lot of things to me that points to a mid life crisis. We had a plan to only live in our house for 3 years, save money and move. She has a college degree that she has been unable to use. She feels like she isn't providing for the family by not working.
I know it is uncommon to get divorced and live together, but with our kids and their needs, 1 parent can not do it themselves. Any suggestions or thought on this situation.
By the way, i still love her as much as i did when i met her.

Thanks
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angelinastones
post Feb 6 2012, 07:14 AM
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hi there silent bob. sorry to hear that from you... But, I think, before working out the divorce, please be 100% sure of the decision and the consequences that might happen.. YOu should talk about it seriously and with mind set... Maybe she wanted it, but wanted you to stay so that the kids won't be affected and won't have a hard time to adjust. But, if you really love her, and don't wanna have divorce, then, you should stop her, prove her, that you're worth it of everything. Let her work, and do what she wants. With that,also this coming valentines, atleast, give her something, surprise her. Do anything that could change her mind!! Good luck!!


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[url=http://tinyurl.com/urmarriagesaved You should save your marriage!!![/url]
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silentbob73
post Feb 6 2012, 05:32 PM
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Thank you for your advice. I do plan on giving her something for valentine's day.
We had a conversation this evening where she did say that she doesn't want a divorce, but she does want to be seperated and live together. I know that sounds weird, but we have agreed that we may stink at marriage, but we are wonderful parents. I think that if i give her time and some space, things may work out for us in the long run.
I know one thing that she wants to do is go back to work, but rightnow that isn't possible due to the needs of our kids. Once we get to September, and our youngest can go to school for a full day, she will be able to go find a job and that should make her feel as though she is able to provide something to the family.
I told her that i love her and the kids forever and that they will always be in my heart. She told me the same thing. So there is still love between us and we both still care for each other more than anything.
I am just taking everything one day at a time and hope that things get better as time goes on.
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