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> Blended Family Issue..1/2 The Kids Live 5 Hours Away By Plane., Trying to be fair to all parties when the kids that don't live wit
namuras
post Nov 27 2006, 08:08 AM
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I am having problems with rules and what if fair not fair when my kids come for short visits a week or so.(I bring 1 boy 7-- 1 girl 9, my partner has 1 boy 9 --1 girl 6) My kids live 5 hours away by plane. When they come for short visits my partner has issues with what I think should happen. I want to be able to change the usual routine when my kids come take time off work/school and do a couple of "fun" things with all the kids and be able to spend some time together . My partner says things should stay routine, or her kids will become resentful because when my kids come out fun things happen and rules change. Am I expecting too much? Any suggestions on how to handle the short visits would be appriciated.
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Glen
post Nov 27 2006, 10:00 AM
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Gotta be honest! Your partner is right. You don't change the rules just because your lids are in town. If you want your partner's kids to ever feel like they aren't second class kids in your house, you'll make sure you do special fun things with them when your kids aren't there, as well. Please do it now while they're still open to new parental relationships.
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namuras
post Nov 27 2006, 11:52 AM
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OK I can understand it to a point, when the kids come out during the school year, the kids with us will be in school, what are my options...putting them in day care, take time off stay at home and just hang out until the the school kids come home and my partner is home from work, change visits (it was a huge fight to get what we have with them now) or take a couple of days and take all 4 kids out of school and find things to do together? I get both kids 4 weeks in the summer and realize that it will be a routine for that time, but how do I balence things when the kids visiting are out of school to visit and the kids living with us are in school?

This is actually more complicated than I have indicated..as I have not yet been able to join my partner as she just moved to another province(7 hour drive) for a job opprotunity, and I will not be able to follow for several months.
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Glen
post Nov 27 2006, 05:15 PM
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Did someone tell you blending a family was going to be easy? There's no way I can resolve the details of this...I can't even get 2 fishing friends to be available to fish on the same day. So, I have to go fishing twice as often, but enough about my problems. I wasn't suggesting you try to find some perfect coordination solution to the best you could get in custody agreements. All I was suggesting was that you treat the other kids special when yours aren't there, so they don't feel like the only time you do fun things is with your kids. If you want suggestions on how to do that, maybe you could ask the kids what they like to do. As to the rules, I was thinking of bedtime, bathing, eating, mutual respect...that kind of thing. If kids have different school schedules, they should come to understand.
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