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> Why Offer Pedophiles Therapy?
Glen
post Nov 13 2006, 02:26 PM
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Admittedly, with this subject, no matter what I write there will be criticism, but it's worth it if others will take a step back from the emotions and consider true solutions to the problem of pedophilia. Fear and anger are normal responses to child molestation but they can't form the basis of any real solution. Instead, we need to understand the problem, craft prevention strategies, determine effective punishment and establish treatments for both the victims and the pedophiles. Since prevention, victim treatment and pedophile convict treatment/punishment are exhaustively covered elsewhere, we're going to focus, here, on therapy for pedophiles (and potential pedophiles) as part of the crime prevention strategy. Here are some top selling books on therapy for pedophiles and other sexual abusers.  

Punishment For Sexual Offenders is strongly and appropriately favored by pretty much everyone but the offenders. These are heinous criminal acts done to people who cannot defend themselves. When you add the cruelty of threat and terror imposed by the pedophiles who know their victims, it becomes clear that every time we catch someone like this, they need to be punished to the full extent of the law. As opposed to popular belief, though, punishment (usually with therapy) is pretty effective for those convicted. The repeat conviction rate for child molesters is...

To read the whole article, see Why Offer Pedophiles Therapy?
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anonxphile
post Sep 12 2008, 11:27 PM
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I'm an ex pedophile who supports therapy as opposed to strictly punishment. I never abused anyone physically, but the life repercussions were huge anyway. There needs to be an alternative for those who have never offended, or never been caught, but want to reform. As it is, I don't know of any help that is available, other than standard sex addiction treatment programs, which don't necessarily deal with the root problems, although they may help. Several ex-con friends who have known of my problem have recommended therapists, but of course, that costs money, and they are bound by state law to tell the authorities of any indescretions you admit to. I have hope for the internet...that's why I'm posting here.

--Anon "EX" Ophile
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tiggeronmv
post Sep 13 2008, 08:36 PM
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Dear Anonxphile,

Glen has written three great articles on pedophiles I suggest that you start by reading the article, "Why Offer Pedophiles Therapy?". That article will lead to two others Glen wrote "Pedophile Therapy and Pedophile Therapy 2"

In Therapy 2 Glen lays out the following set of rules that you must immediately establish for yourself.

"If you find yourself attracted to children, here are some steps you must take to control yourself:
1. Never allow yourself to be alone with a child, not even yours.
2. Never allow yourself to dwell on erotic thoughts about children...force them out with other thoughts.
3. Never allow yourself to view erotic images of anyone. Even stay away from underwear and bathing suit commercials...anything that gives you the wrong ideas.
4. Never go to swimming pools, dance studios, playgrounds or anywhere else that gives you temptation.
5. Never allow yourself to masturbate or to think of others while making love with your spouse.
6. Find a trusted friend or family member (your spouse if married) to be accountable to. Tell them everything and ask them to keep an eye on you and confront you about this issue.

By following these steps and keeping the battle in your mind, you can get control of your behavior." This was written by Glen

While I have never had this sexual draw toward children, I am addicted to pornography. That addiction caused me to lose my wife and family, I just went through a divorce hearing last week after seventeen years of marriage. I was accused by my wife of inappropriately touching my children. False charges were brought to the courts, and in an attempt to "save my marriage" I accepted a plea bargain to the crime of "Incident assault on a child under the age of fourteen". I served thirty days in jail last winter, will be on probation for the next five years, wear a G.P.S. ankle bracelet, lost my job, haven't seen or talked with my children for nearly a full year now and during the divorce hearing, my wife's restraining order was extended for another full year so I won't be able to even ask to see them now for still another full year.

If you don't believe that the consequences of pornography are real, you are truly deceiving yourself!

I weekly attend a Sex Offender Treatment Program therapy session with eight sex offenders and I am learning a lot about the struggles that sex offenders face in their lives.

First and foremost, all sex offenders are not pedophiles. In fact nearly 40% are young fellows that had what they thought was consensual sex with girls that were too young legally to consent. As states raise the age of consent to 18, which is required by the Adam Walsh Act to be in compliance by 2009, they expect that nearly 70% of all of the new sex offenders will be Romeo / Juliet cases where the boy, it is always the boy even if the girl is 20 and the boy is 14, will end up being convicted of statutory rape and will be a Tier III offender required to register four times per year for the rest of their lives. Many will also be required to serve a mandatory 25 year sentence. This is where the current hysteria about sex offenders is headed and if states comply with the federal law, this will go into effect nation wide by next year.

Currant surveys indicate that 70% of males have had sex by the age of 18 and 60 % of the the girls have also had sex. With every disgruntled youth breakup or upset parent, there is a sex offender in the making. Meanwhile, the school systems teach sex education where they say it is alright to experiment in all forms of sexual ways with either sex as partner or with multiple partners. Sexual diseases are at an all time high, as are unwanted pregnancies. Schools hand out condoms and Planned Parenthood offer other forms of birth control and abortions to girls as young as eleven.

Dumb pranks can also get one convicted of a sex offense such as mooning someone from the bus window, streaking across the football field, or urinating in public, peeping in a window or looking at child pornography on the internet.

The other major category of sex offenders are fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, uncles, and close friends of the family including baby sitters, day care providers, ministers, Boy Scout leaders, etc, people close to your family and your children that use their position of influence to molest children. This accounts for nearly 85% of all the reported molestations on children under the age of fourteen. The scariest statistic of all is that if you locked up every convicted sex offender that has ever been convicted of a sex crime for the rest of their lives, next year you would still have nearly 90% as many new sex offences to deal with for every year, 90% of all sex crimes are committed by people that have never been caught before.

If you find yourself with the desire to look at children in a sexual way, going to see a therapist or doctor or minister is a huge risk since in most states, there is a requirement for them to report you to the authorities so you are in a "catch 22".

Read what you can on this forum, participate in sharing ways to control your urges with others, see what works for others, but what has worked best for me is to hand your life over to God.

In His service,
Tiggeronmv unsure.gif
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bwhite
post Nov 1 2009, 11:18 AM
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As a recovering pedophile, I feel the following was the one thing that worked against me all of the years I was suffering. It was my number one reason for not seeking professional help...

If you find yourself with the desire to look at children in a sexual way, going to see a therapist or doctor or minister is a huge risk since in most states, there is a requirement for them to report you to the authorities so you are in a "catch 22".

Seeking help meant getting caught. Most pedophiles will not seek professional help because of the huge risk of getting caught as well as the social stigma placed on those with this condition.

I wish I could have found help earlier. I am thankful I never took pictures of or molested a child, however, I did have to start my life over when my situation went public and I lost my lucrative job.

I am currently in counseling and attend Sex Addicts Anonymous. Both have proved beneficial and have helped me change my life in a very profound and meaningful way.

Brian White
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davidwr
post Mar 7 2010, 12:34 PM
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Unlike most other addictions, where a person who has committed criminal acts such as DUI, prostitution, or drug trafficking is free to talk to a therapist on his own initiative or after family intervention, a pedophile in America has no such freedom once he violates the law. They are pretty much on par with someone who killed someone in a DUI-hit-and-run.

In many states, once you look at child pornography or molest a child, the only person you can talk to without going to jail is your lawyer or in some states a Catholic Priest. In some states I'm not even sure if you can tell a lawyer of your actual crimes before you are arrested.

If a pedophile wants help, he's limited to self-help books, prayer, "general" self-help that may address underlying issues like depression or past abuse as a child, but he can never speak of what he has done until the statutes of limitations expire, if they expire.

These rules are in place for good reason - so that victims can get treated and to prevent "hide the pedophile" shell games such as the ones a large church denomination did in the last half of the 20th century.

This not only affects those who have never been caught, but it also affects those who are in prison but who have not been given immunity from prosecution for acts not yet confessed.

This leads to a bizarre circumstance where public policy actually increases the risk of more victims, as people who need help refuse to get it. Whether you are in jail for 10 years and refuse therapy on your lawyer's advice, or whether you have never been caught and can't get real help for 10 or 20 years until some clock expires. In the meantime, you are forced to choose between "throwing away your life" by confessing to the police and probably being a registered sex offender/pariah for life or keeping quiet and relying on self-help. prudent actions such as staying away from pornography or being alone with children, and, if you are religious, whatever deity your believe in to keep you from offending again.

Society needs to ask itself - is it worth it? Is it worth telling pedophiles who want to heal "you are on your own," knowing this will mean more victims, in order to make sure that all known victims get help immediately? It might be, as some victims who do not get help may go on to become perpetrators as adults. It's a math game society will be required to play as long as pedophilia and the propensity to abuse children is a chronic problem. Our children are the pawns. Whichever way society chooses - allow pedophiles to get therapy in private or require therapists to disclose, some children will lose.
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