Life And Family Issues BLOG Syndication Mon, 16 Jun 2008 13:18:17 -0700 FamilyForums@way2hope.org (Family Forums) IP.Blog 60 If you've read this far, it may be you're already past this point. Usually, the first part of denial is denying you have a problem in the first place. The only way we addicts can do this is if we have an ample supply of people around to blame. Parents are usually first on the list, closely followed by boss, spouse, children, the economy, the weather. Some addicts are so good at blaming others that many of the others begin to blame themselves. If you're the spouse of an addict, please look into the issue of codependency, for the sake of your addict and yourself. Once you finally accept that you have a problem, it's time to admit you can't solve it by yourself. If you're at the edge of this point, but still deny that you need help, here's how to prove it to yourself. Look yourself in the eye (it's good to use a mirror for this), and commit to quit for one year. If you find yourself using again in months, weeks, days or hours...you know you need help.
]]> Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:14:27 -0700 ]]> Fri, 06 Jun 2008 14:49:29 -0700 After undressing from the waist down and covering myself, the nurse applied pain killer. It left a burning sensation that lasted a few minutes. I looked at the instrument to be used. It appeared to be a black tube about the diameter of a milk shake straw around 18" long, with what looked like a microscope eyepiece on one end.
The doctor rushed into the room, shook my hand and said, "Let's get a look at things and send you on your way. The whole procedure will take about two minutes." Then he began putting that tube in, um...me. It had to turn a pretty sharp corner to get into my prostate, at which time he said..."this is the hard part." It was! it was extremely uncomfortable and the natural response is to clamp down with every muscle. I got the idea that the way to make this easier is to force my muscles to relax. There was no pain after it was in, but I could feel the scope moving around in my prostate and bladder...very strange. Then the doctor said, "OK, we're done."
He gave me an antibiotic and told me there might be some pain or light bleeding for the next day or so. I said, "I guess so!" There was a little blood and a whole lot of pain during urination for the next 36 hours. Everything is back to normal.
All in all, the standard price for the blood tests, xrays, medicine, CT scan, four examinations and PPscopy will be somewhere around $ 5-6,000. Our part of the cost will be about $ 2,000 before we hit our deductible ceiling. Given the amount of inconvenience, pain and costs involved, next time I find blood in my urine, I'll wait for a recurrance, fever, extreme pain or blockage before I call the doctor.
You're probably as happy as I am this is the last episode in this journey.

]]> Fri, 23 May 2008 16:55:00 -0700 After I got the right amount of clothes off, they took me into this room where there was a table sticking out of a donut-shaped machine. They stuck an IV into my arm and attached it to this huge plunger-like machine, with about a pint of clear liquid in it. The machine started to make a "vooooom-voooom" sound, like a space ship. Then the table slid me into the donut, told me to take a breath and hold it and slowly slid me back out. It repeated this several times. Then the technician started the IV, and I got a warm feeling all over. A few minutes later, we went through the donut a few times more, then 5 minutes later, after all the liquid was in me, we slid into the donut hole a few more times. If I can get images in JPG or GIF, I'll share them.
I see the doctor on May 13 for the scope thingy. Until then, no news is good news.
]]> Sat, 17 May 2008 16:00:01 -0700 Living inside out means deciding that nothing happening outside of us will be allowed to control us, or our outlook on life. We can't change other people, mean co-workers, diseases, crimes...they just are, and we accept that they are. The rain falls on everyone, good and bad, alike. Based on how they've decided to be, inside, some people curse the rain...others use it productively, to quench thirst, wash, and grow things. Living inside out means using our troubles to grow and strengthen ourselves. We can use relationship, job, money and other problems to identify those things inside us that need to improve, and improve them. Instead of cursing the things outside us we can't change, we change the things we can...those things inside us.
Living inside out means we can turn our problems inside out, making them tools with which to build a better life. Think about it! Without relationship problems, we'd be bored with everyone. Without work problems our employers wouldn't need us. Without money problems we would never understand it's value. Problems are the texture in the fabric of life, nothing more. Without them, our lives would lack excitement and fulfillment. How can we appreciate being loved if we've never been hated? How can we have the pleasure of success if we never fail? Trouble means we're still in the game! Next time a huge problem hits you, thank God, because it means you're alive and you still have important work to do and room to grow. If you don't have problems, check your pulse.
]]> Sat, 10 May 2008 14:45:24 -0700 ]]> Fri, 02 May 2008 16:41:16 -0700 Sat, 26 Apr 2008 15:39:47 -0700 Sun, 20 Apr 2008 04:23:41 -0700 ]]> Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:11:07 -0700 I saw the Urologist today. He told me everything looked normal. He said X-rays were useless in these cases, so he ordered a CT scan and what I’m not-so-fondly calling a PP scope (use your imagination). He told me that I should not worry about anything. The tests are just a precaution because in rare cases, bladder or prostate cancer can elude the tests I’ve had so far. He actually said 99% of the time, it’s nothing. I was surprised he was that informative, with all the law suits I keep hearing about. Anyway, it’s nothing until it’s something. I’ll let you know either way.   Sat, 05 Apr 2008 16:28:03 -0800