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Dear CAF Community,
I have been really frustrated recently because of what I am uncovering as a result of my battle to the death to save my family and my sacrament.
In short, for 5 years I have been fighting against my wife and against the Church in a divorce and annulment. We were college educated faithful devout practicing Catholics both from lifelong consistently practicing families when we were married. Because the US Tribunals are now effectively an abortion mill for marriage (high 90s percentage declared null if you only ask) our marriage was found invalid in the first instance court. Only through doing my homework and appealing the case straight to the Roman Rota at the Holy See have I been able to keep our marriage from being disposed of so far, although a final verdict is yet to be rendered (it can take a few years). You may be aware that Rome most often (probably 80-90%) overturns US verdicts with extreme prejudice and upholds the sacrament. In light of this my wife has chosen to marry in the Greek Orthodox which allows divorce and does not care about Catholic proceedings. I am not sure if she intends to try to get back into the Church if our marriage is found invalid by Rome or not, or if she simply intends to stay in the Church and try to conceal her unfaithfulness to it.
I was only 29 years of age when this began and I am 35 now. Although I have connected with a small community dedicated to fighting the US tribunals and upholding the sacrament, I have been just utterly disgusted an amazed at what I have found in the process. I do have a small cadre of very orthodox Catholic friends who have agreed with my non stop battle to preserve my family and save our sacrament despite my wife's best attempts to utterly destroy me and have our marriage erased by the annulment-happy US Church. However, overall I have felt extremely, extremely alone in all this. Many of even my Catholic friends and family have resisted my campaign, offering the trite and cliche "I want you to be happy" and "You should just let the annulment go through and give up, find someone else."
Well, that is not what I have chosen to do. My parents had a troubled marriage that they maintained through hell and high water until my Mom's death, but if they taught us anything, you never, ever give up on your spouse, no exceptions. Not even if your spouse is actively hating you and trying to destroy you. This has been my understanding of God's call to us in what is supposed to be a permanent sacrament that is designed to help us weather utter disaster. I don't believe there is any middle ground between complete commitment and disposable, contract marriage. It simply cannot be both ways.
One of the hardest parts of this whole thing is that I have, through much discernment and prayer, decided to put my future at risk and fight to keep myself sacramentally yolked to my wife who has completely abandoned reason and the practice of the faith regarding marriage. I have chosen this because of the aforementioned reasons and because I strongly believe our marriage to be valid--because the fact is that a BAD marriage does not necessarily mean an INVALID one.
I am very close to alone in this path. The Church's highest tribunal, the Roman Rota, only receives about 300 petitions WORLD WIDE in a year, and only around 75 of these are from the US. This means that out of the approximately 60,000 annulments granted in the US every year, only about 75 people appeal to the Vatican. The rest simply accept it, and go on and try to find someone else, to "be happy."
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Hi everyone! This is my first time posting on here and I am glad I found a forum dedicated to losing weight. Since this is a forum where I can seek motivation, I am going to be totally honest about myself. I am 25 years old, a mother to 2 little boys (Aged 2.5 and turning 1), and weight 230 lbs. That number is embarrassing for me since I used to be tiny (around 125 was the highest I used to weigh).
I have been going on a diet but havent had the time to incorporate any vigorous exercise routine yet. I do go to the gym, but not consistently. I have started a detox (3 days ago, I think) and started the garcinia cambogia diet pills. It had super high reviews and I know its worked wonders for many. I am also drinking Green Tea Hawaii, which is also supposed to help. Since I take all 3 together at the moment (detox is just 14 days), I need to drink a lot of water.
I have always been bad at drinking an adequate amount of water. Most days, I dont even drink over a glass. I know its bad, thats why I am trying to work on that now. I am up to drinking 6 glass a day (hoping to get to 8 glass soon). Each glass is about 10 oz of water, so I am drinking about 60 oz. The water makes me feel so sick. I feel full, which means I dont have room for food, but it also means my weight has increased. My weekly weigh in are on Thursdays and last thursday I weighed 231.4. Ideally, I want to LOSE something each week. Even 1 lb is acceptable so it can keep me motivated, but nope. I actually weigh 230 - 231 each morning. I am paranoid with gaining more weight on top of what I already weigh so I am weighing myself every morning to make sure I am on track, at least for now. My official weigh in is in two days (where I actually record the weight) and by the looks of it, I am probably up 1-2 lbs since last week, not -1 or -2 lbs like I am supposed to be. What is happening to me? I dont use salt in my food, I know I dont eat a high sodium diet, so why is this water making me gain weight? If I dont see a loss on Thursday, I dont know how I am going to go on and lose weight. Thanks in advance for any replies.
By the way, I had labs drawn last Friday and results came back healthy, no diabetes, thyroid problems or anything like that. Completely healthy besides being overweight.
Whenever I start to focus on my brain functions and the metabolic activities within it, I get extremely uncomfortable and anxious. Most of the time I can't even help but thinking about it. Trying to pinpoint thoughts and the locations of them in my conscious really make me uncomfortable, it is even making me anxious to type right now. Some days I will be completely fine, but randomly the thoughts will pop into my head. It's hard to stop the thoughts that cause this anxiety, it's like trying to not think of an elephant( you are probably picturing one in your head right now).
The worst part of this is what I believe to be a misfounded fear of getting schizophrenia. Although I haven't had a single symptom in my life, sometimes I am terrified that I could get it at any moment. Occasionally I lie awake very late at night, afraid that I might hear a voice at any moment, but it mever happens. I can't even stand to talk about this psychological disorder, it makes me uncomfortable to hear someone even say it. Sometimes I can't even stand to hear or read discussions about anything concerning the brain, because I just get a anxious feeling about my own brain functions.
I've tried to do research about this frustration, but my efforts were fruitless, that's why I came here in hopes of finding advice or insight. I'm wondering if I should drop a psychology course I plan on taking next semester, I feel like learning more about brain functions would make me feel so much worse.
14 Mar 2015 - 22:26
2 Oct 2014 - 10:05
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