Infinite Menus, Copyright 2006, OpenCube Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

entry Jul 28 2007, 09:29 AM
It's grotesquely funny that the one who is beating you, blaming you for all their problems, calling you a worthless loser, the one who seems to hate everything you stand for, is the same person who won't let you leave. Of course, if you did leave, they would be left with only themselves to blame for their unhappy lives. This would be the best thing for them...and for you. You would both have a chance for recovery you don't have now. But how do you leave without prompting even more violence?
Secretly! Make your plans in secret. Stash money in a separate account in a bank across town. Stash a change of clothes or 2 in an airport or bus locker. If there are children, the same with their clothes. Don't tell the kids what you're planning. Identify where you will live and tell no one. Do not use any joint cards or checks to pay for the rental, phone, utilities, etc. Finally, when you're ready and you know your abuser will be gone for a few hours, grab the kids, one favorite toy each, and go. On your way, empty the checking and savings accounts for cash to use for rent, utilities, phone, etc. Max out the credit cards cash advances. Drop the kids off at a day care (not your normal one) and go to the mall to use the old credit cards for new clothes for you and the kids. Do not have anything shipped that you buy on these cards.
Next, stop at the police department in your new area, report your spouse for abuse, and begin actions for a restraining order. Change jobs, or, at least warn your boss that your ex-husband is violent and should not be allowed on the premises. Find new schools for your kids. Get rid of your car and get a new one that's been purchased under your name only. Begin your new life.
If you talk to your ex, make sure it's on a throw-away cell phone. If you end up meeting face-to-face without a lawyer present, make sure it's in a very public place and you have a large person with you. Also, make sure you're not being followed home, by taking many streets and turns while watching the other cars.
This is an abbreviated list, so, if you have specific issues you want to address, use the "abuse" forum.

« Next Oldest · Life And Family Issues BLOG · Next Newest »