Family Forums Hot Topics

Family Forums Hot Topics All the latest buzz on your favorite life and family issues. http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php Sat, 21 Nov 2009 12:28:59 -0800 60 Alcoholic Husband Finally Might Go Thru With Counseling And I Am Ready To Leave http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1646 He has told me that i need to get over the past and move forward, but i feel stuck in the world of the unkown. I still feel like i want to leave, but, wonder if i am just needing to get over the past, or not. As I asked earlier, if he is starting treatment as he says he is, am i awful to still want to leave, or am i justified...? PLEASE HELP ME??? I AM SO CONFUSED!!!!!]]> Thu, 19 Nov 2009 00:37:10 -0800 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1646 Alcoholic Husband Finally Might Go Thru With Counseling And I Am Ready To Leave http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1645 He has told me that i need to get over the past and move forward, but i feel stuck in the world of the unkown. I still feel like i want to leave, but, wonder if i am just needing to get over the past, or not. As I asked earlier, if he is starting treatment as he says he is, am i awful to still want to leave, or am i justified...? PLEASE HELP ME??? I AM SO CONFUSED!!!!!]]> Thu, 19 Nov 2009 00:32:11 -0800 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1645 Exhibitionism http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1644
I have been involved with porno mags since pre-puberty which i think is the cause of my exhibition today, am not so much now into porn, never really watch/read it..

Am a single 41 yr old guy, been single for about 11 odd years now except for a recent "freinds with benifets" relationship that did last very long at all...

Have no real desire to be in a relationship mainly due to poor sexual performance, eg i get no satisfaction from intercourse and am not very fit to perform it anyway, however in saying that, a companion would be nice...

Is there anyone out there that can help me understand and deal with this problem..?

My motivation level is very low, i dont do any exercise and have no desire to do so, i dont work, am on DSP pension..

Atm the moment, i dont know waht else to say, would love some help though...

Regards
ron]]> Tue, 17 Nov 2009 10:53:09 -0800 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1644 Onedayatatime http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1643
I am addicted to pornography. I began looking at it when I was about 12, and I am now 24 years old. There have been numerous times where I have gone for weeks, sometimes months (maximum I have done was about 6 months) without indulging the addiction, but so far it has always come back. Lately I have been looking at pornography and masturbating about once a week, that seems to be about as long as I can go right now...and I need help. I did it this morning, and I want it to be the last time.

I am joining this community and starting this thread in the hopes that I can find more motivation and a way to let people know about my progress. I have a version of a 12-step program that I am going through. I believe in Jesus Christ, and I know that it is through Him that I will ultimately be able to recover and be clean.

Please post your encouragement and comments, and I'll try to do the same. Thank you for your support.

christopher

one day at a time]]> Mon, 16 Nov 2009 12:32:43 -0800 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1643 Onedayatatime http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1642
I am addicted to pornography. I began looking at it when I was about 12, and I am now 24 years old. There have been numerous times where I have gone for weeks, sometimes months (maximum I have done was about 6 months) without indulging the addiction, but so far it has always come back. Lately I have been looking at pornography and masturbating about once a week, that seems to be about as long as I can go right now...and I need help. I did it this morning, and I want it to be the last time.

I am joining this community and starting this thread in the hopes that I can find more motivation and a way to let people know about my progress. I have a version of a 12-step program that I am going through. I believe in Jesus Christ, and I know that it is through Him that I will ultimately be able to recover and be clean.

Please post your encouragement and comments, and I'll try to do the same. Thank you for your support.

christopher

one day at a time]]> Mon, 16 Nov 2009 12:32:39 -0800 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1642 Health Tips http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1610
1. To avoid diseases like hepatitis and Typhoid, eat 5 basil leaves everyday.

2. For tooth ache, keep a clove on the affected area.

3. Have a mixture of gingelly oil and egg, for 3 days, for menstrual disorders.

4. You will get a great relief from menstrual pain , if you have a gooseberry daily.

5. Boil the leaf of Malabar nut, squeeze its juice and add egg white. It subsides cough.

6. Eat the powder of dried ginger and cumin with sugar for relief from cough.

7. Have the mixture of mustard paste and honey for good relief from cough.

8. For a good relief from cough, mix equal quantities of basil juice, honey and ajwain juice and drink on an empty stomach.

9. Are you suffering from urinary infection? Drink a glassful of water with a pinch of cardamom powder.

10. Have a mixture of lemon juice and honey when you are suffering from cold.]]> Fri, 16 Oct 2009 16:55:47 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1610 Escape The Addiction Pit http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1160
Read Complete Article, "Addiction, Escape From The Pit."]]> Wed, 04 Jun 2008 15:22:37 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1160 I Do Not Like White People Help Me! http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1596
How can you help me.]]> Tue, 22 Sep 2009 15:37:40 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1596 I Need Help http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1629 I need help in anyway possible. A hero if you will. I am 27, a fulltime student, and a stay at home mom. I am married to a man that is very abusive. He choked me the other night to the point that i almost blacked out. Just two weeks ago, he said he doesnt want ot be a father, husband and provider anymore and walked out on us. He makes all the money.Just the pther day he got another DUI and will going to jail very soon and then I will be homeless with no where to go. I have nothing just two hungry, growning mouths to feed. I have no car, no job,no family and no money. I am trying to get state help but to get cash help u need to go to a class to help get you a job. I dont have a car to get there. I have tried shelters they wont take my 5 months old daughter or they dont have beds for us. He is out of the house. I want to leave with my kids to Chicago and need help getting there and getting settled.I know this is a long shot but I will do anything to get my kids to a safe place. I need this help and any other help you could provide would be great!. thanks for listening . Tue, 03 Nov 2009 11:45:16 -0800 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1629 Brother Abusing Sister Sexually http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1624 Sun, 25 Oct 2009 18:33:59 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1624 Incest http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1641 if your father touches you by your pubic hair and had pulled covers back when you were in bed and said he was going to miss you when you were gone-but there was no sex,is this still classified as incest-i feel violated and it was years ago-it changed my life but i still keep wondering just because it wasnt intercourseis it still wrong and considered incest? what feild would i be in. it seems child sex abuse is always mentioned as a father etc who had intercourse-this was just a one time thing for me -but it changed my life and i never wanted to hug him again or tell him i love him-but i always made rationolizations about him-like he wasnt the type-everyone respected him-christian-and i finally wrote to him and told him i couldnt stand it anymore-30 some years later-and im finding out that he said he needs to explain why he did this and the reason before i get out of control in my ideas-so i feel like he has denied the fact to my mother and to himself and to me that he did anything wrong and now i truly want nothing to do with him...any advice or help or ideas would be appreciated-we have no councelers in my town. Fri, 13 Nov 2009 13:18:42 -0800 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1641 Release Techniques http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1640 Human lives go around different facets and are interrelated naturally. Health, happiness and financial freedom spring up when self - work and self-improvement is imparted.www.releasetechnique.com paves the way to a healthier and an affluent life with its ways to release anger, stress and anxiety. A wide range of anger and stress management techniques knock your doors with www.releasetechnique.com. Fri, 13 Nov 2009 05:11:35 -0800 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1640 Is It Okay To Tell The Truth About Abuse? http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1606
It took me so long to speak my truth. I'm pushing 50 now, and it took me this long.

But this angered my sister, who at one point admitted in therapy she had also been molested, but has in recent years turned back to denial.

So I feel guilt about having spoken the truth and not honored my family. I walked away from my family, which is something society thinks is always a wrong thing to do. I guess I am just here looking for some emotional support if anyone can spare the time to help me, because this decision felt very right to me but it's also hard, and I'm struggling with guilt.

Thank you for reading this.]]> Fri, 09 Oct 2009 14:42:37 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1606 Hanging On To A Dead Marriage http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1639 3 years into our marriage i met a guy(our common friend-bachelor) who gave me that attention. he was lonely as well. i relationship did grow physical but to limits and very rarely. one day my husband found an intimate chat( 6 months into this affair) that i had. i felt terrible...but then after some time told him it was all really happ coz i just didnt have my husband enuf. i relationship deteriorated more than ever. i felt guilty that it was all because he cudnt deal with his wife being with someone else who otherwise had no bad habits. i thot he was shattered......and he however still encouraged me to talk to the guy i met. said he felt guilty i lost a friend. i thot my husband was this very nice person who though broken was still concerned about my happiness. deep in my heart i felt whatever i did was because i craved love....but knew it was not gud enuf a reason to have an affair.
However the real twist came in when i found out that for two years my husband was having an affair with another married woman who was a very good friend of mine and spoke ours to me. this girl knew a lot of personal details about us through me...i never realized that i was being cheated this bad....and instead thot i was gulity of killing my marriage for the last two years. He was encoraing me to be with another guy so that he had his freedom. i was broken thinking the way this girl crept into my life, accepted favors from me and killed me....more than anything my husband let this happen. we also went out with this couple(the girl he had an affair with and her hubby-)numerous times. my husband general planned the outings. we spent big on thses trips wheras we never event spent 1/10 of that amount on just us. i lost faith in my senses and sensibility after this. i never got affection from his family too. while my mother was going thru her last stages of cancer he was spending time with his affair.
he is good to me at times..when none of this occurring. when i laugh and dont complain. he is a very quiet person.he used to explain that this obession with women was because he was quite suppressed in his childhood also bein asthematic he has to take a lot of strong meds...so he cant help this. when angry he wud hit me...first two years of our marriage he did this but now i laso do it. we both get angry now.i take very good care of my family and duties are very important to me. if it comes to my family i leave everything else and take care of him and my four year old daughter. thinking of my bad points. i try to make things perfect and anything out of place irritates me. once he does these things wrong which are gravely wrong in my eyes i tend to talk too much and wont forgive easily. he used to ask for forgiveness very quickly after he did these things..but stop asking for forgiveness once he met this women.
after his affair was uncovered he apologized and promised to give me a lifetime of happiness. it was like moving mountains to put this episode behind. because i always entrusted evryhting to my husband...i never checked into our accounts even though i contributed big bucks. if i spoke of the affair he would get wild with me.....so i had to just stop talking to bring in happiness.
his job moved to a diff city. we stayed away for a while working in diff cities....then i left my job and came her coz this gap was unfair to my daughter and already crubling marriage. now i am with my family in this place where u dont see a single soul. i stay all day at home . My husband hasnt changed one bit. no he has no affair( atleast i think so) but he still has this fancying other woman thing. he tells me i talk to much. i just feel he is not transparent ..keeps a lot hidden in his mind. he justifies himself saying most men are like him..quiet, tech crazy, fancy women.seriously now i just dont want to make this work and put love a divorce but now i ahve no job and lets say am very naive with money. i fear adjusting to life without him. facing indian community which is terrible. though i did all the house work i never handled money. i feel my daughter doesnt deserve this divorce.
sometimes it think this is my voice but maybe we both are just not made for each other. i am not the women he fancies( more physically). i am an an alrite lookign women. quite fit if not gorgeous. i dress well and have done very well career wise.
someone help me...tell me what to do.....and also how do i learn to stop talking out all that i feel. he doesnt listen to me. i am emotionally very dependent and otherwise appear this very strong woman who does all her jobs herself..
pls pls help me.]]> Thu, 12 Nov 2009 10:20:08 -0800 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1639 How Do I Recover? http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1579
I am a 21 year old male who is in college at the moment and is slowly opening up socially and emotionally after years of being withdrawn and wrecked with anxiety. My life seems to be improving all constantly, especially since I've gotten into a relationship with someone who I am very much in love with. But one problem still persists and it's going to cause more and more problems unless I deal with it now, and the first step is telling someone. An online forums seems appropriate for starting to talk about an issue like this.

I was sexually and physically abused, and raped when I was 7-13 by the son of a friend of the family who, at the time was about 6 years older than I was. I've come out and told my parents about the abuse when I was 13, and since then have had support from my parents, and had some rejection from others; in fact I was actually made fun of for it by some cruel individuals. I was in therapy at the time for ADHD issues, and had received very little therapy for the sexual abuse, mostly because I didn't feel like I wanted it at the time. I didn't feel "damaged" at the time. I felt like I could get over it, and I still feel like the events themselves aren't very traumatic for me, even though the problems they have caused me prove me wrong.
I'm sure all of you have heard that a large number of sexual abuse victims go on to abuse children themselves (I'll say again that I am not an offender and have NEVER touched or abused anyone else). But since about the 8th grade, I have found myself attracted to children. I think it's because of a combination of being abused myself, and living all my life with anxiety and social problems (even before the abuse) and I find children less intimidating. It's a rather blunt way to put it, but I cannot find words that express the situation better. Now let me add a few more details that are the main reasons for me being in such a conflict: I am not emotionally attracted to children, I have always had an inner conflict about it all and have been angry at myself for years, and I don't feel like it's who I am to be this way. I want to stop it all and move on with my life.

Like I have said before, I am in a relationship with someone who I love very, very much. But whenever we are intimate, I get scared and I start to withdraw. Sometimes I feel better than other times, but sometimes I have trouble even taking my shirt off out of shyness and embarrassment. The feelings of anxiety and embarrassment rip me out of any intimate mood I would be in. And I feel like it all roots back to sexual abuse, because I am literally embarrassed about being intimate. Sometimes I hate having sexual feelings towards anything and I go through periods where I just reject any feelings at all and don't even want to hear the word "sex." I'm afraid to go to a therapist with these issues because they are required by law to report me as a possible pedophile, which is garbage because I completely reject those kind of feelings and that's why I am here in the first place. I just want to be able to recover from the utter embarrassment of being sexual and revealing my body that sexual abuse has put me in, which is the probable cause of me being attracted to children (because I do NOT take it to a further level with emotional feelings or plans to do anything). I feel like because I'm in this situation, I'm forced have sexual feelings towards something I find less intimidating: children rather than adults. I DO have sexual feelings for adults, however because of this problem, I cannot express that in person to, say, my partner. Thankfully my partner is very understanding and knows I need to feel more comfortable first...but I need help. I need to recover. I need to be ok with revealing my body and being sexual with someone else.

I want to know if anyone else has issues similar to this, what they have done, and if anything has helped. I'm desperate for help...I'm tired of pushing these feelings under the rug and thinking they'll just go away. It's time for me to start healing.

Thank you so much for reading and helping.

Rex]]> Wed, 19 Aug 2009 11:05:50 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1579 Release Techniques http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1638 There are ways to get rid of addiction... here are some of the ways given which is easier and acceptable to people who are addicted to bad things... Recovery support is always essential to addiction.... Release techniques paves the way to a healthier and an affluent life with its ways to release anger, stress and anxiety. A wide range of anger and stress management techniques knock your doors with www.releasetechnique.com. Good Luck! Thu, 12 Nov 2009 03:08:56 -0800 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1638 Fresh Start http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1637 sorry .. plz delete. Tue, 10 Nov 2009 19:06:06 -0800 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1637 Living With An Alcoholic http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=164 Secrets And Lies:

Alcohol addicts need to be woken up because the biggest lie they tell is to themselves, "I don't have a problem." As much as you love the alcoholic in your family, that lie is what makes it easy to lie to you. My father would say he'll be at my game, my play, my graduation...usually lies. When he didn't arrive, it was always because he was tired. Funny how tired you can get after a few drinks...or before a few. He did the best he could, given his addictions, so, I'm not whining...Just letting you know I know what you're going through. Some alcoholics claim...

Read Complete Article]]> Mon, 22 Jan 2007 17:46:44 -0800 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=164 A Documentary That Helped Me Find Peace http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1636
There is a film called "Searching For Angela Shelton" that I think every victim of rape or abuse should see.

You can find it on IndieFlix.

The survey of women in America says that 70% have been victims of violence.

In the uplifting and multi-award-winning documentary, filmmaker Angela Shelton drives around the United States surveying other Angela Sheltons. She discovers that 24 out of the 40 Angela Sheltons she speaks to are survivors of rape, childhood sexual abuse, and/or domestic violence (the number jumped to 28 out of 40 when 4 more Angelas broke their silence after the movie was completed).

Angela Shelton's survey of women becomes a journey of self-discovery during which she decides to finally confront her own past and her abusive father on Father's Day. The Angela Shelton's complete the journey by teaching the filmmaker about healing, faith, and the power of the human spirit, no matter what your name is.]]> Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:41:01 -0800 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1636 Left Him When I Could Not Take The Physical Abuse.need Some Advice http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1595 Tue, 22 Sep 2009 05:59:28 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1595 Naturopath Or Holistic Worth A Try?, Trying To Get Diagnosis / Anyone Go This Route? http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1635 I am wondering if it would be worth a try to see a holistic dr? I posted earlier in the pre-diagnosis board about my long struggle with symptoms and problems with GI drs. Has anyone been diagnosed this way or have positive things to say? I would love some input. It seems these types of drs. might even be more sensitive? Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:37:40 -0800 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1635 My Home Bills http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1634
just wanna recommend to you this website: www myhomebills info . There you can very easily add and manage your daily expenses, monthly bills and plan your budget. Also the figures you enter get automatically categorized and you can get a report for how much you have spent over the year.. compare your figures to the average for other users who have spent cash in the same category, calculated within your range. This site is free and registration gets really 5 seconds. Editing works like in an spreadsheet.. no lousy forms for entering data.... have a look.... Enjoy

cheers ng]]> Mon, 09 Nov 2009 02:27:09 -0800 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1634 Natural Treatments ? http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1633 any natural treatments for panic attacks. Fri, 06 Nov 2009 20:39:55 -0800 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1633 Love http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1632
now am in love with him but am dying every day cox i dnt marry him at all cox i dnt want to spoil my sisters life at all. i have to marry someone. but i cant even think about another guy.we also had sex but i neve like to have sex with him at all cox i dnt like to hurt my sister.but it happind cox og him.now my life is strange.am dyng each day plz advice me.]]> Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:14:17 -0800 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1632 New In The Forum http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1628
It is my first time here so I wanted to say hello to everyone in this forum!

I wish you a great weekend with your families!

see you!

__________________________________________________________________

www.activity4family.com/?ref=forums]]> Thu, 29 Oct 2009 16:34:04 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1628 4 Month Old Marriage In Crisis http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1631 I was only a few months out of a four year long miserable relationship when I met my husband. In my short time being single, I thought I had discovered my part of where things went wrong in my last relationship and discovered happiness (at the bar, nightly). My husband and I met and were both reluctant to start a relationship but ended up hitting it off really well and spending all of our time together. Inevitably, a wonderful relationship developed and we became exclusive. We were best friends, we drank together (and with liquid courage) shared everything about each other with each other. I knew at the time that I met him that he was not an overly affectionate person and seemed to have an enormous barrior around all of his feelings. That was okay with me because all walls fell down when we drank. He was loving, affectionate, and would share his feelings without hesitation. Of course I knew this was more from the alcohol than anything, but it allowed us to connect. several months went by, we had what I believed to be typical ups and downs (always involving his lack of affection for me and his inability to say "I love you too" and things of that nature) but we still enjoyed each other enough to get married. We eloped in Las Vegas after a couple of months of being engaged.
It is at this point that I believe things greatly shifted for me. When we got married, at the time of "I do", he wouldn’t look at me. It devastated me. This along with the lack of affection and the alcoholism created the nightmare that I am living in. I should add here that we have always had a problem with sex as well. He seems to have very little interest in sex and I am quite the opposite (probably to an unhealthy extreme...typical woman who places her own value in her sexuality type deal). So in my opinion there seems to be an overall intimacy issue here, but if I could solve anything based upon my own opinion I wouldn’t be writing this

About two months ago, I sunk into a deep depression. One that has come in and out of my life for as long as I can remember. However, now that I am married it affects my husband as well. It is a combination of my marriage and the rest of my life and it leaves me feeling stuck. I will note that drinking has been a constant for us, at times we drink heavily and at times we don’t. Somewhere along the line we shifted from getting drunk and talking about how much we love each other to getting drunk and having horrible (unimaginable) fights. I believe I had a hard time letting go of drinking because the only time I got affection and love was when we drank. The rest of the time we were more of buddies than two people in a romantic relationship. I am glad that my husband is my best friend, but resentful that he is not intimate with me. (We are best friends, we have no problem in that area...I could carry on about our great friendship but that is not what I need advice about ;]) A couple weekends ago, he wanted to go to a party with his friends (all of which make cheating on their girlfriends look like a sport) and he didn’t want me to go. He didn’t want us to drink and be embarrassed by a fight. He wanted to have a good time. I was understanding of this, yet still concerned that he didn’t want me there. I decided to go drink with my friends. Late in the evening he text me that he loved me. Myself being intoxicated, took it as a sign of guilt because he refuses to say I love you (or I love you too...even to his own child, not only me) forgetting that he is loving when he drinks. To shorten the story, I called his phone and it answered in his pocket. I heard him talking to a female and lost it. In my fragile mental state, I didn’t care what they were talking about, I was bothered. I got a ride to the party, saw him outside, and started beating the $#!% out of him in front of everyone. So much for not making a scene. We yelled and he told me to get out of his life so I got dropped back off at home to pack my things. I didn’t end up doing that because I passed out drunk and did not awake until he came home and woke me up with his yelling. I continued to punch the daylights out of him and he tried to get me to leave. He never reciprocated violence towards me. He only shoved me out the door. Unfortunately, this is when the cops arrived and they arrested him for domestic violence for "forcing me (the aggressor)" out the door. We spent a week apart and during that time agreed to stop drinking and try to work things out. I feel so much guilt for him getting arrested over my behavior. We haven’t gone through court and I don’t know whats going to happen with that, I am more concerned with my relationship. We are staying together on the grounds that things must change. While I was away, all I wanted was to come home and appreciate what I have with my husband. this is my first night home (my husband works nights) and I find myself now remembering all of the reasons why I was depressed in the first place instead of being grateful that he is forgiving me and continuing the relationship. It’s all very complicated. I just can’t figure out if I am expecting too much from him by wanting things to be romantic. I am not naive and I understand that life isn’t a fairytale, I just don’t know if I can accept that he loves me if he can’t look at me when we get married or say I love you too. It’s sad to me because I am a self proclaimed codependent with tons of emotional baggage although at most times I hide it well. but I have agreed that I need to seek help with those things, along with my drinking problem, yet all I get from him is some excuse about how he is a man and he is not going to act "gay" and be "all over me all the time" or that "this is me, I’m going to be me, and I’m not going to change". I don’t know if it is possible to overcome the things I feel I’m missing, and I can’t seem to stop focusing on all of the things I feel I don’t get from him. Any opinion is appreciated! please help!
]]> Thu, 05 Nov 2009 05:18:38 -0800 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1631 Compulsive Shoppers Looking To Raise Awareness http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1630
My name is Joseph and I am producing a new documentary film aimed to raise awareness of compulsive shopping and shopoholism in America.

Both I and the film's director are recovering compulsive shoppers. I know the feeling of having an uncontrollable urge to shop and consume to fill something within, but only to be left with an emptiness at the end of the day. We seek to bring to light both the psychological and cultural forces that have brought about our epidemic of compulsive shopping. What is it that drives us to fill our lives with "things?"

We are searching for someone who would feel comfortable in front of a camera, and would like to share with us the motivations behind their shopping.

If you would like to raise awareness of the issue by sharing your story in our film, we would love it if you could send us some information about yourself - your name, age & general area of residence, as well as some insight into your situation. How does compulsive shopping affect your day-to-day life? Are you stuck in a cycle of shopping to make yourself feel better? Does compulsive shopping hold your life back through debt, or other financial obstacles? Has the ritual of shopping replaced other, more productive or personally beneficial activities you may have previously participated in?

Please just let me know if you feel you may want to participate.

Thank you so much and best of luck!

Joseph Ferrera
josephferrera1@gmail.com]]> Tue, 03 Nov 2009 12:18:53 -0800 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1630 Why Offer Pedophiles Therapy? http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=107
Punishment For Sexual Offenders is strongly and appropriately favored by pretty much everyone but the offenders. These are heinous criminal acts done to people who cannot defend themselves. When you add the cruelty of threat and terror imposed by the pedophiles who know their victims, it becomes clear that every time we catch someone like this, they need to be punished to the full extent of the law. As opposed to popular belief, though, punishment (usually with therapy) is pretty effective for those convicted. The repeat conviction rate for child molesters is...

To read the whole article, see Why Offer Pedophiles Therapy?]]> Mon, 13 Nov 2006 14:26:14 -0800 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=107 Keeping Children From A Grandparent http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1627 Wed, 28 Oct 2009 08:23:33 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1627 Request Help http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1626 [b]

Latvian crisis! Please help a family of four children to cover the debt for gas (gas heating). We are out of work, winter comes, the threat to switch off heating costs. I look forward to your response and understanding! Many thanks in advance! uguna39@gmail.com]]> Wed, 28 Oct 2009 07:10:36 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1626 <![CDATA[Get Your Family Copies Of The Movies You're Unlikely To See Anywhere Else!]]> http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1625
Right now you can try Family Values Cinema for FREE! (plus $3.95 S&H).. Even if you decide to cancel and not stay on as a member you can keep the merchandise you received (you can cancel anytime). If you opted for the PREMIUM Package (2 DVD’s per month) at $19.95 a month, you ALSO GET A $25.00 DINING CARD – EVERY MONTH WITH YOUR SHIPMENT, good at over 10,000 restaurants. If you opt for $9.95 a month you receive one movie per month.

In addition to the movies you keep, you also receive a Family Discussion Guide and a recipe card themed to the movie for the whole family to enjoy. You’ll also receive a car DVD carrier where you can store all your Family Value Movies in one place along with the discussion guides.

We are certain families of all faiths will enjoy these entertaining wholesome films -- whether at home, at church, or at community events. Establish an old-fashioned family movie night in your home. You and your family will be glad you did!

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"Thank you so much for caring and believing in that which is important to the values of our families."
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"Our family just started our membership last week and received our first family movie, "The Princess Bride" special edition with the discussion guide. I had never watched this movie before but my 4 boys had with their Uncle and really enjoyed it. We sat down after dinner as a family and watched, it was a really nice movie. By far my favorite part of our family time was listening to everyone's answers when I read through the questions on the discussion guide. One other additional benefit for our family provided by FVC was when the movie arrived in the early afternoon it became a catalyst for my children (who are home schooled) to finish up their studies and chores on time so that we could watch the movie after dinner."
Alicia E.
Michigan
]]> Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:36:03 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1625 Am I Stupid? http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1622 Wed, 21 Oct 2009 22:10:51 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1622 My Daughter Grew Up http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1623 MY DAUGHTER IS 24 YEARS OLD. SHE IS INTELLIGENT, HAS GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE & HAS HER BACHELORS DEGREE. I WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A MARRIED MAN WHEN I BECAME PREGNANT WITH HER. HE HAD ACTUALLY LEFT HIS WIFE & WE LIVED TOGETHER, THEY NEVER DIVORCED. AFTER 7 YEARS I CAME TO MY SENSES & MOVED ON. THEY NEVER HAD CONTACT AGAIN. I LATER MET SOMEONE ELSE WHO MADE HER HIS OWN. SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A HOME BODY CHILD. NOT VERY OUT GOING. SHE NEVER DATED MUCH. THEN SHE MET SOMEONE, LAST YEAR. HE WAS 19. A FEW MONTHS LATER THEY MOVED INTO TOGETHER, HERE IS THE KICKER HE DIDNT HAVE A JOB. ALL THE MONEY THAT SHE HAD, EVENTUALLY WAS GONE. SHE JUST COULDNT GET IT THROUGH HER HEAD THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE. SHE WAS IN LOVE. SHE HAS ALWAYS WANTED TO HAVE A BOY FRIEND. ABOUT A MONTH AGO SHE CALLED ME AT 12:00 AM TO COME MOVE HER BACK HOME, MY HUSBAND & I DIDNT HESITATE. IT TURNS OUT ,SHE HAS LIED TO ME & SHE IS SEEING HIM AGAIN. I TOTALLY REALIZE I CAN NOT CHOOSE SOME ONE FOR HER, BUT IN MY HEART I KNOW THIS PERSON IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER. WHY CANT HER KNIGHT & SHINING ARMOUR COME TAKE HER AWAY? HER SISTER TOLD ME THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT RUNNING OFF & GETTING MARRIED. I REALIZE I NEVER HAVE ANYTHING GOOD TO SAY ABOUT THIS PERSON, I SHOULDNT BAD MOUTH HIM TO HER. LAST NIGHT SHE TOLD ME I AM THE REASON FOR HER FAILURES, AND SHE DOESNT WANT TO TURN INTO ME. IT CUT ME LIKE A KNIFE. SHE AND I WERE SO CLOSE SHE IS MY HEART, THE BEST MISTAKE I EVER MADE. MY HUSBAND & I HAVE ALWAYS WORKED HARD TO GIVE WHAT WE COULD TO OUR KIDS. I PRAY & I BELIEVE THAT WHEN IT IS YOUR TURN FOR SOMETHING GOOD YOU GET IT. IT HURTS ME SO BAD TO KNOW THAT ALL THE MISTAKES I HAVE MADE IN MY LIFE COME BACK TO HAUNT ME LIKE THIS. I CANT CHANGE ANY THING I DID THAT I WAS WRONG, & I AM SO SORRY THAT IT HAS IMPACTED MY DAUGHTER LIKE THIS. SHE HATES ME BECAUSE I WONT EXCEPT HIM. I HAVE TRIED TO GIVE HIM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT MANY TIMES & EVERY TIME I DO IT BACK FIRES. I GUESS THERE REALLY ISNT ANY THING FOR ME TO DO, ITS NOT MY LIFE BUT, HERS. ONCE YOU ARE A MOM ITS HARD TO LET GO, AND LET YOUR KIDS RUIN THEIR LIVES, ESPECIALLY AFTER YOU ALL READY EXPERIENCED OUT COMES FROM YOUR OWN MISTAKES. CAN SOME ONE OUT THERE HELP MY PAIN? ...... BRENDA]]> Thu, 22 Oct 2009 08:52:31 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1623 Should I Give My Marriage Another Go http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1621
My husband is 7 years older than me. He has always been a good provider and we have a beautiful home. I work voluntary 3 days a week for a charity, before we married I worked in the NHS. My husband retired from a very good goverment job 2 1/2 years ago. We had planned to do lots of things together.. There has never been any doubt in our years together that he would ever want to hurt me. He has always kind, and in return I was so happy. This is where the terrible realisation kicks in. My husband having retired 2 1/2 years ago, decided he wanted to work abroad (He has in the 14 years I have known him, mentioned this from time to time. I was always encouraging) We talked about this for 6 months, then decided that we would go as a family abroad. My 20 yr old (then nearly 17 thought it fantastic) My husband applied to a large city abroad and went to work there in Jan 2008. Myself and daughter was following on 8 weeks later. We were not selling the house, and myself and my daughter were going out to see if we liked it out there.

Upon arriving my husband was odd at the airport, and non of the hugs he usually gave me was forthcoming. We went to the apt we had rented. This is the absolute truth what I am writing. He had brought me as a present a mobile phone. I thanked him. My daughter turned it on as I am hopeless with technology, said "Who is this on here" I looked, and on the screen was a filipino woman. As quick as I saw it, my husband snatched it away. I stood shaking and looked at my daughter. I went out the room and said to my husband, who the hell was that. He looked visibly shaken, and at that moment I knew he was lying. He then said he wanted to be alone. It all happened within 2 hours of us being there. the sickness I felt I cant explain. Then there were long hairs on the burgandy leather sofa, that he would not of been aware of, and not hoovered the sofa. There was an almighty row. I said to my daughter "dont unpack, we are going home. I told my husband I hated him, I screamed at him. We could not get a flight back for 2 days, it was an absolute awful time for me and my daughter. My husband cried and cried and told me I had it all wrong, that she was just a friend, and that he felt ill. (I believe he felt ill by the shear fact I had found him
out, not ill through anything physical) How I mananged that flight home I will never know. To the people I work with, my mother and friends (i only have a couple of close friends) I said my husband had to work away for 8 weeks, and I was not prepared to stay there, so that is why we came back.

This is my story, and today my heartache still goes on. Over the past 16 months since our return many things have changed. He has owned up to the fact that he met with the wrong crowd when he got there, going out drinking, etc, and this woman was in the company of a friends girlfriend. He took her out, but then reality hit him and he realised what he was doing and finished seeing her. Taking her out means he had met her almost as soon as he had got there. He became ill with stress with all the heartcache he had given me. I tried to think of reasons that maybe it was my fault. He had only been gone 8 weeks. I have tried so hard to understand why he would want to do this to me. I have to put it down to a new country, exciting for him, and lots of temptation. We sent hundreds of emails, and spoke on the phone. He has never come up with a reason why he did this. He says"I was weak". I have wanted to leave the marriage, but he was devasated when I said this. I have kept my dignity and strength. The only people that know the absolute truth is my sister in Law (his brothers wife, who are both appalled at his behaviour) and my very best friend. The have been towers of help to me, when I have cried. My husband is ashamed at his behaviour. The present situation is, after all thses months of battling this alone and literally being on automation for months, I have come out of this stronger and wiser. I have kept all the spite away from my daughter and I have told her that there was nothing in it with this woman. My daughter loves her step father, as does my elder son. I have not run him down in front of them. I work hard in the house and garden, as this is what I am like. I have never shied away from hard work. I spend a lot of hours on my own, and have started a open university course. My husband still works abroad, and he never once said he would come home. Its not that we are desperate for the money. He seems to have carved a new life out for himself, and I am no longer important to him. I want to start agin on my own, as I realise this is more important to him than I am. He came home for 1 week this year. My husband is also impotent, and has been for 5 years, so any intimate relationship is out of the question. I am also very sad about this. He could have used viagra, I will never know, as he tells me he did not do anything like that with her.
All this stress has wore away my confidence. I truly loved him, and now I feel empty inside. I put on a brave face every day, and people see me as happy go lucky. I am not just saying this, but I am attractive, and get lots of amdmiration, however I do not dress up for this, I seem to attract people. I am kind, warm and funny. My husband knows this. He tells me he cant make it on his own, that he would be lost without me.

I really dont know what to do. My head tells me to leave and start agin on my own, with my daughter, as the trust is gone. I do find it difficult to believe whatever he says. 4 times last year he was packing up and coming home, and yet he still remains there. There is always some excuse. I have said I wont keep waiting. He has always been shallow with emotional feelings, and he doesnt seem to have any depth of feeling for what he has put me through.
Im not sure if I can get over it. I went on antidepressants, as the upset was too much. No one knows about this either.
No one can tell me the answer to this ongoing turmoil, but if anyone may want to give advice, I would be grateful. Im sorry the situation is long winded, but there was no other way of telling it.

I dont want to be unhappy, its hard having to pretend everything is ok. I am going out to see him in 10 days, and I want to say to him "I dont want to be with you anymore", but fear holds me back. I cant turn the clock back, but I did not do anything wrong in all our years together and thought we were terribly happy. He could do this again, but next time he would cover his tracks better. How would I know, His lack of commitment should tell me he has changed and I should not put up with this situation anymore. I never thought this would happen. He is turning into a man I dont know. He is good with providing, but equally I dont want to stay through obligation, neither do I want to feel intimidated. I would rather be poor and happy, then have comforts and be desperatley sad.
I do not know what to do for the best. Any advice would be grateful, even if I have to look at the situation from a different angle I would be willing to try.

I had better stop now, Sorry if there are mistakes in my text. I have not read through it. Thank you]]> Wed, 21 Oct 2009 14:38:37 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1621 40 Days Healthy Diet, Soaro http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1620
I want to introduce our exceptionally innovative diet product, SOARO, which helps lose weight to your ideal weight within 40 days.

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In addition to losing weight, SOARO helps improve the overall health of our body too. This means lots of health benefits since it provides well balanced essential nutrients to body with minimum calories.

If you are interested in losing weight and curing other health problems, please visit our website for detailed information at www soarousa com English -> Diet ->Efficacy

Frankly speaking, my friend started SOARO diet last week, (well 9days ago), and he lost 11~12 lbs (4~5kg). I personally believe this is one of the SHORTEST GUARANTEED DIET while keeping your overall health.

www soarousa com English -> Diet ->Efficacy

If you have other questions, please e-mail me at soaro40@yahoo.com

Best Regards,

Eric Yoon
Benessence, Inc.]]> Wed, 21 Oct 2009 11:33:04 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1620 Daughter Does Not Want To Play With A Neighbor Girl http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1619
The neighbor’s daughter has issues so it isn't really her fault but I don't know what to do. Help!
]]> Wed, 21 Oct 2009 08:42:27 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1619 Who Will Save Me From This Body Of Death? http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1618 I am battling a twenty year addiction to pornography without much success. I had a period of my life last year where I thought that I had defeated it. I had about two months where I didnt look at it or masterbate and then I had found the person I was going to marry and was married shortly after. A couple months later I started getting the urges again and found myself looking at porn on the internet. My wife ended up discovering this and almost left me. She decided to give me another chance and I was bound determined not to do it again. I was shaken by how much I had hurt her by my actions and did not want to do anything to cause her to feel like that again. well that didnt last too long as I found myself online again looking at porn. I have given this thing over to the Lord thousands of times, I have prayed and prayed and prayed, but I feel really discouraged and I feel like victory is not in reach. I really need help. I have a child on the way and I dont want to destroy this family that God has blessed me with. I messed up this morning so Im not sure if I can count this as day one . . . Tue, 20 Oct 2009 09:33:33 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1618 Reciept Aholic Husband http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1617
Thanks
]]> Mon, 19 Oct 2009 17:57:26 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1617 Diet Pills http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1616 What's the best way to burn fat and not lose muscle?

]]> Mon, 19 Oct 2009 11:17:38 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1616 Addictions Survey...... http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1615 Childhood experiences of adults with sex, gambling, drug and/or alcohol difficulties.

• How does somebody develop an addiction?
• Are there childhood experiences that make it more likely that someone will develop such difficulties?
• Do those with such difficulties have different kinds of influential child experiences?

If you are interested you can help me research and answer these questions. If you are over 18 and feel you have some difficulties with compulsive use of sex, drug, alcohol or gambling then please contact me either on here or on sclaytonthesis@googlemail.com and request the link to allow you to access the survey.

I know it is yet another online survey, but I would really appreciate your views and/or time on this as it is part of my training to become a clinical psychologist and I would like to get as much of an understanding of what it is like to experience an addiction.

Thanks for your time.

Best wishes

Sarah
]]> Sun, 18 Oct 2009 11:21:18 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1615 Addictions Survey..... http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1614 Childhood experiences of adults with sex, gambling, drug and/or alcohol difficulties.

• How does somebody develop an addiction?
• Are there childhood experiences that make it more likely that someone will develop such difficulties?
• Do those with such difficulties have different kinds of influential child experiences?

If you are interested you can help me research and answer these questions. If you are over 18 and feel you have some difficulties with compulsive use of sex, drug, alcohol or gambling then please contact me either on here or on sclaytonthesis@googlemail.com and request the link to allow you to access the survey.

I know it is yet another online survey, but I would really appreciate your views and/or time on this as it is part of my training to become a clinical psychologist and I would like to get as much of an understanding of what it is like to experience an addiction.

Thanks for your time.

Best wishes

Sarah
]]> Sun, 18 Oct 2009 11:18:45 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1614 Addictions Survey....... http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1613 Childhood experiences of adults with sex, gambling, drug and/or alcohol difficulties.

• How does somebody develop an addiction?
• Are there childhood experiences that make it more likely that someone will develop such difficulties?
• Do those with such difficulties have different kinds of influential child experiences?

If you are interested you can help me research and answer these questions. If you are over 18 and feel you have some difficulties with compulsive use of sex, drug, alcohol or gambling then please contact me either on here or on sclaytonthesis@googlemail.com and request the link to allow you to access the survey.

I know it is yet another online survey, but I would really appreciate your views and/or time on this as it is part of my training to become a clinical psychologist and I would like to get as much of an understanding of what it is like to experience an addiction.

Thanks for your time.

Best wishes

Sarah
]]> Sun, 18 Oct 2009 11:14:46 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1613 Natural Remedies http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1612
Just wondering if anyone has had any luck with natural remedies? I was using Bach Flower Remedy, but it's a pretty quick helper at reducing immediate anxiety, but doesn't last very long?
]]> Sat, 17 Oct 2009 16:25:44 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1612 Need Help, Just Realized http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1611 Fri, 16 Oct 2009 18:10:15 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1611 Stop Panic Attacks Without Meds http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1609 to 'face your fears' Well that's a load of crap. The reason you feel
panic is that a young part of you is terrified and doesn't trust the
older parts of you to look after it. Forcing that young part to do
something it clearly doesn't want to do will make the panic worse.

Try this: Next time you panic, remove yourself from whatever it is
that's causing it. I panic on buses and trains, I don't force myself
to take trains, if I take a bus, I say to that part, "If you want to
get off, we will get off". When I go to the cinema/theatre, I pre-book
an aisle seat, I find out where the exit is and I say to myself "If
you want to leave, we'll leave" I have been doing this for several
years now and it really works. I can sit in waiting rooms now,
something I could never do before, because that young part of me knows
that if it wants to get up and go, we will, without hesitation. It has
learned to trust me. In turn, I can reason with it sometimes when I
really want to stay and I can be really kind to it and even ask it to
try and be OK (this mostly works, but I still have work to do on
this). I never take medication for panic, I think that this is really
disrespectful to the parts of you that are trying to communicate, you
just have to listen to them and eventually they will be less
terrified, learn to trust you and panic attacks do get much less. I
know that one day, I wont need to have them at all any more.

Good Luck!
]]> Thu, 15 Oct 2009 10:29:06 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1609 Gramma To Raise Grandson; Mom Involved In Fatal Car Crash. http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1608
Is it okay to raise my grandson (who was only 1-month old when the crash happened -- 4-1/2 mos now) by saing things such as "is mommy up in heaven?" or . . . i guess what i want to do is to keep her memory alive/fresh w/him without scarring him for life.

I'd like to hear if anyone has had a similar experience or what other people's thoughts are on this.

Thank you.]]> Wed, 14 Oct 2009 19:14:59 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1608 Is It Possible To Get Husband To Stop? http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1607
I'm new here. I've been married just over a year and a half. I married my best friend. The most wonderful boyfriend you could imagine. We were dating for over a year and a half and friends before that. I am 42 and he is now 47. It is my second marriage and his thirdl. Not hardley a few months into our marriage he started verbally abusing me. It's taken me quite awhile to realize it. There have been some excellent wonderful periods in our marriage, mostly when he isn't under a lot of stress. However there have been some really dark times and they seem to go on for quite awhile.

It's been hard to term it abuse simply because it doesn't seem to fit. He's called me names a few times, most recently Friday. When I told him how much it hurt he told me I deserved it because I was talking to him frustratedly. Most often when he gets to the point of calling names or saying really hurtful things to me we've been having a discussion and he is to a point he wants it over now. Very often he gets side tracked with a discussion of telling me what I meant or how I felt about a particular issue. When I try to defend myself or state my position again he completely rejects any redefinition of what I am saying and that's when he blows up and says hurtful things. And they can be pretty horrible.

My husband refuses to acknowledge that anything he has said is wrong or hurtful. It's always my fault. If I wouldn't have said this than he wouldn't have had to say that. If I hadn't pushed his buttons then he wouldn't have struck out at me.

I have recently talked to his sister's ex husband and this was a pattern in their household as well.

I am learning that this is a problem and I am learning it is not my fault. I have a great counselor. My question is can he change? What specific behavior can I do for MYSELF when this starts to protect myself? Why can he just not see what he is doing?

Thanks so much for your help. I'm just starting on this road to recovery and I don't know what to do. The biggest problem is I love the guy. When it's good, it's very good.

FishMom]]> Tue, 13 Oct 2009 14:12:12 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1607 Help Me Recover http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1603 I was raped by a friend whom I had previously slept with. I actually cheated on my boyfriend at the time with him and when he came back for more I told him no, that I was going to be faithful, and he had other plans in mind. For awhile I blamed myself and I have since moved past this, I should probably mention that it was about 3 years ago. I still have not worked up the courage to tell my parents however for lack of courage of hurting them and of what they might say I guess. Anyhow, I am writing this because I still get shaken up with my current boyfriend. If he is too rough or grabs my wrist or neck, even just joking around, I freak out. I can simply ask him not to do these things however I want to be able to joke around and wrestle and such with the man I love. I want to be able to be with him without seeing the guy that raped me. I want to be able for him to not feel like crap because of my damage and baggage! Please help me. Thu, 01 Oct 2009 23:02:54 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1603 <![CDATA[Help For A Parent Who Doesn't Know What To Do]]> http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1597 So during the family session, the counselor urges her to bring it up, she was very hesitant, but when the counselor said that we had found out about it independently, she decided to talk. It seems as if to her recollection it didn't happen very much. That oldest son was the perpetrator. That it happened about 10 years ago. And that it also happened to the middle son. In other words the oldest son was inappropriately "touching" both the younger children. Is seems that nothing any further than "touching" occurred.
So why didn't I know about it? Well my wife reminded me that my mother in law mentioned once that she suspected there might be a problem...this would have been about a year prior to what my daughter remembers....but I dismissed it because my mother in law is a looney case (she really is) I have always worked in jobs that were very demanding on my time and my wife has had to work also so the kids were left unsupervised, (well with the oldest in charge),more than we would have liked. Obviously, I am disgusted with myself right now for not taking care of this as it happened. I'm not making excuses. I am really disgusted with myself.
So here's a quick synopsis of the family today: The oldest is married, is a "life of the party" kind of guy who never has a care in the world and is very popular. He also works in the family business. The middle son has had problems of his own. He is a smart hard working young man but has had some bouts with depression and is stoic and quiet in personality. Then there's the daughter, who has had the recent problems. We all see each other every day. There is no real tension among the kids. Everyone seems to basically love and respect each other.
But now I know that there is an underlying issue with my daughter and I wonder if the abuse did in fact happen with the middle son and If maybe it has adversely affected him too. By the way, though I am disgusted with the thought of what the older one did, I do not think that is who he is. He is basically a good person.
So the dilemma is: how do I deal with this going forward without breaking up the family. Do we sweep it under the rug? Do I approach the middle son about it? Do I confront the oldest about it? What about his wife? It seems to be critical that I get this right at this point. I am looking for any advice out there.]]> Tue, 22 Sep 2009 22:14:54 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1597 Is This Rape? http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1593 I dont know how to exactly phrase all of this... but i have been thinking about it constantly....

im embarrassed to type this out... but im sure ill feel better if i get some advice...
my boyfriend asked me if i would try anal sex with him and i told him please no i don't want to try. we went to bed and i woke up with him holding me down. then he started to do that.... I asked him to please stop and i even tried to get away. he did it anyways. he was very strong. i said "no" a lot.
he apologized as he was doing it. and said "please forgive me"

I honestly dont know what to feel... ashamed..embarrassed...angry...?

he explained to me that since i am his girlfriend, i just have to do what he wants....
i said i forgive him if he doesnt do it again.... he has tried it again but i have been vehemently against it....like shouting "no"...

is it my fault that it happened in the first place... because i didnt shout as loud?
also ...if i ever dont feel like having sex.. he will remove my clothes.. and do it....

another thing... i said something that he didnt like....he slapped me but after when i told him that i was upset... he said he was only kidding....
I dont know how to react. He has been very sweet in general so far.

its hard to tell what is right and wrong....????? any help??? please dont think im a bad person....or dumb....im just confused.]]> Mon, 21 Sep 2009 02:55:59 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1593 Please Help http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1605 and i feel like im living with a hitler....im so terrified of him everytime he coughs, what does he even think of me? my mom loves him to death
more then me because she feels a sense of insecurity from him i believe....i think my dad had acceptance issues from his father as well
please i dont want this hurt my children in the future, they are loading me up on medications so i cant even make decisions for myself...
im so scared someone please help before this monster tears me and my mother apart. ive been living in thepast in order to cope with this situation
i think im creating different personalities to help...]]> Tue, 06 Oct 2009 09:59:37 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1605 How Can I Give Advice To My Wife? http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1604 We are married for about ten years now. Since then, things had changed so much and it seems like the relationship is now for the sake of 'Keeping the Family'.
We have twins (girls), and a boy. The first year of marriage was like a paradise! I cannot forget those days. It was a time I could go back home from work to pick up the photo that I forgot on the table. We were at the place which only newly married couples can tell. I left for further studies abroad. Then I came back and for sure, we were still in a deep love. However, I admit that there were occasions I was tempted to go out with other women. Those were my ages! seminars, cinemas, conferences, just mention it. later, I realized that, it does not worth anything.
Being abroad influenced my ways of thinking and my life in general. I had several wishes to my wife. I wish she could walk like Michelle, Educated like Grace, etc. I had to be strong and could force her to get her diploma. But Now, I am an educated guy, very soon I will a figure at a certain location. I will be happy if my wife can be next to me. I know she can do well in academic progress, but she does not want to be told what I wish about her. Sometimes back, My president had a photo with Obama and Michelle, and the question why our first lady was not there! I had no answer but I just chipped in by a comment, " I think he is not proud of her". That was reflected to our daily issue, " my wishes about my wife." I still wish that she could be like others and I openly tell her. I understand that she has to be who she has and she did say that severally. My question: is this marriage healthy? Is it going to stay or there is something I should do.
Please advice.
PI]]> Tue, 06 Oct 2009 05:15:19 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1604 Great Way To Lose Some Weight ! http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1348 This is the site were you can check more and even buy

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]]> Tue, 16 Dec 2008 02:05:49 -0800 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1348 Depression And Fear Of Death http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1559 Mon, 20 Jul 2009 09:59:42 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1559 Teenage Son Not Knowing What He Wants Out Of Life http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1602
He had a steady girlfriend of about a year but then met someone else and started seeing her. Eventually he bought his own house with my help for the deposit and they moved into this house together. She got pregnant very quickly, it was planned - to my horror (she was 18 at the time and him 19). Unfortuntely they lost the baby at 11 weeks. Two months later the girl decides she doesnt want to live with my son anymore and leaves and demands all the mortgage payments back that she had so far paid.

Obviously he was absolutely devastated and said that he would never get back with her and she would never set foot in the house again. I think you can probably guess where this is leading - they got back together slowly over time, in the next 4/5 months. He is still in the process of trying to get the property put into his sole name (which she has agreed to), which I think is very sensible, as she walked out and said she didnt want that sort of commitment with him anymore.

My problem is that he is thinking of asking her to move back in, but only after the property is officially in his name only and they want to try for another baby.

As any parent reading this, hopefully will agree with me, this is a nightmare waiting to happen. I cant seem to get through to him, that it didnt work the first time because they were too immature to live together, so what makes him think its going to be any different this time. And to bring a child into the equation is madness. I cant give him any advice because he wont listen.

This is so hard for me. Firstly because I am still grieving the loss of my child leaving home and cannot get used to living on my own without him and secondly its hard because even though I like the girl, she has some nice qualities, I cant get it out of my mind, that she is just messing him about, using him and she knows she will never find anyone like my son, who has provided her with so much.

In the time that they have been apart, he has had dreams of moving abroad with me to open a business, me and him getting a mortage together and renovating a property to make a profit, starting up some sort of family business etc etc. Each week he has another idea of what he wants to do. Now he wants her and a baby.

Im at my wits end with all of this, its stressing me out to the point that I feel ill. He just doesnt seem to know what he wants to do.

Is this normal teenage behaviour or the after effects of the miscarriage?

Please help.]]> Sun, 27 Sep 2009 23:53:09 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1602 So Very Confused http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1588 Thu, 03 Sep 2009 23:39:10 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1588 Past Is Ruining My Marriage In The Present http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1601 Sun, 27 Sep 2009 11:30:08 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1601 Help! http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1397 if it was someone else's story, Id just tell him, "I think you wasn't born to live !

Notice it soon ! There's no God, no family, and no friends for you ! You'd better die !! You're a mistake !" Well dont worry ive never think it about anyone else but myself.
Well, sorry to bother you with my story. Thanks for reading.

My mum is the only person in my life who I care about, so I think the only thing I need would be to know that she cares about me. I have the feeling that If I had been abused by anyone else other than by my sister she would have felt angry and had the reaction I had expected [Ive seen a lot of people killing the rapist of their children, or fighting, getting mad because they love their child], but she acts like she DONT CARE AT ALL!!! Sometimes she pretends to be a good mum who cares about me, and says she understand and she feels disgusted by my sister, but its just BULL####, I cant even cry in front of her, or she scold at me, and says that it wasnt rape so that its not serious, and that I shouldnt be crying or else itd mean im guilty. Well im sorry if im talking too much, and if u dont understand anything im saying since im too depressed to write in a good english. Im really sorry for everything. Please help me. My sister attempted to suicide last year, but survived, and my mum said it was all because of me, she said "see, you had what you wanted". But since my sister knows that ALL THE FAMILY (well, my supposed "parents") are all nice and supportive with her, she's living a happy life, with a lot of friends, and all of the family and her parents LOVE HER! Its beautiful dont you think? It seems like im the only one who should disappear. My mum even told me that she doesnt like being in between of her 2 children. And that I should leave the house very soon and never come back because she cant be with the 2 of us (my sister and I). Please help me, I just want to believe that im loved by my mum, but im wrong, right ?
]]> Sat, 21 Feb 2009 11:31:05 -0800 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1397 <![CDATA[Husbands Rejection Of Wife's Family]]> http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1600
A christian woman who has a husband that by all appearances
cares for his family as well. They have adult children, who no longer
live at their home.

She is her mother's only child, and they have always had a close
relationship.

However her husband seems to think that she doesn't treat her
daughter like a mother should.

There was an incident that happened over 10 years ago within the church
that they all attended together. Her husband was one of the Pastors in
the church, and was voted out as a Pastor for reasons that I am not clear
about, although I understand that it was NOT a matter of adultery or lying
or theft.

The husband was very hurt and angry over this decision, and left the
church, and moved to another of the same denomination, mind you it was
the same church building, but a different group, a different meeting time.

Because he felt alone, he told his wife to ask her mother to move with them,
to a different congregation (two congregations within the same building).

After about a week or so her mother made the decision not to move.

This incensed the husband, because he felt that the mother should have
done this for her daughter, considering she is her only child.

The husband became so angry that he told his wife that he will not allow
HIS children to go to their grandmothers house anymore, and gave them ultimatums
if they were to go over to her house without his approval, of course this deeply
disturbed his wife. He also added that he didn't want his wife to go over to her Mother's
house either. The wife stood her ground and said she would not be told
that she could not go to see her mother...that to her was the last straw.

He then backed off of her, but still pressured the children against seeing the
grandmother.

This has been an ongoing problem for years. The Mother has not been welcome
into their home (by the husband) for over 15 years.

The daughter has to go visit her mother and relatives, because he does not welcome
any of her relatives in his home.

My friend feels so alone. Prays a lot about this situation, because they are all past middle age
and she feels that this is taking the joy out of her life. Her husband gets jealous whenever
she spends time with her relatives, but at the same time says he's not stopping her from
seeing them.

She on the other hand is very supportive of his relatives. He has even convinced his
relatives not to be involved with his wife's people.

One example was when his wife's grandfather died, her husband refused to sit with
his wife at the memorial (funeral), stating that she married into his family, he didn't
marry into hers!

This is just an example of the types of things that he does, and sees no wrong in it.

He fully realized that her grandfather was his wife's father figure whom she loved
very much. And as far as I know, there was no animosity between the grandfather
and the husband to cause him to act this way.

My friend has a lot to deal with and she and I talk when we can, but I feel that professional
help may be needed, any advice would be appreciated.

]]> Fri, 25 Sep 2009 21:26:35 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1600 Addict Brother Embezzling http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1599 Thu, 24 Sep 2009 12:14:04 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1599 <![CDATA[Issues With Daughter's Fiance']]> http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1598 Well, I recently found out that he has been participating in this band with a group of his buddies. He has been doing this for many years. I found out the name of the so called group and looked it up on myspace. I was so disgusted when I heard what he was recording. It is a form of "Rap Music" that does nothing except smear women in an extremely disgusting, sexual way. I am no prude, but I could not believe my ears. I found this group of guys simply by typing in my future son-inlaws name and following a link from his myspace page. He is using the same picture on both websites so there is no mistaking for anyone that it is indeed him. This is a 31 yr. old man I am talking about and not some 20 year old kid. This so called music also talked about killing all the white people, although to my knowledge these guys are white. From what he said he does this for "FUN"! This is what I was told before I heard the content.
I am at a loss over what to do at this point. I don't think this is something I can just ignore as I have other things in the past. If I can find this that easy, what about potential future employers, or my future grandchildren. I am so upset, and I do not know how to approach either one of them about this.
HELP !!!!!!!!

]]> Wed, 23 Sep 2009 16:28:53 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1598 Metode Lose Weight http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1594

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The Master Cleanse Recipe - How To Make The Lemonade

Here's the recipe for making the Master Cleanse lemonade:

* 2 Tablespoons of organic lemon juice

* 2 Tablespoons of organic grade B maple syrup

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That recipe is for a single serving of lemonade, and you should drink 6-12 servings a day. You can also make up a big batch by multiplying that recipe by however many servings you plan on drinking which is what I like to do. Just make sure you keep it refrigerated, and don't make more then one days supply because you want the lemonade to be as fresh as possible when you drink it.

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Now most people will take that recipe and jump right in to the Master Cleanse. That's a big mistake. There's more to the Master Cleanse then the average person might think. Before you decide to try the Master Cleanse you need to know:

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]]> Mon, 21 Sep 2009 22:30:51 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1594 Giving Up Porn http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=864 I am happy about finding this website and hope this forum will help me give it up. I will try to regularly sign in and give my progress report.]]> Thu, 03 Jan 2008 12:02:13 -0800 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=864 My Life Unloved. http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1568 Sun, 09 Aug 2009 18:44:21 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1568 Advice/help http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1592
For namesakes lets call me Troy.

I have always been a rather confused and conflicted young man (I'm 21 as I write this). I've always had trouble with my sexuality (can't accept/know if i'm gay/bi/straight) and I've always suffered from extremely low self esteem. Luckily, I'm a bit of a smart cookie and that's always come in handy for achieving studies. I guess I'm not sure what I need advice over but here's a start.

When I was younger my parents enrolled me into a Piano program, between the ages of 3 and 5 I excelled at Piano, loving every second of it and playing at levels beyond my age group. When I turned 5 my parents enrolled me at a school in Melbourne Australia (Westbourne Grammer). I was up until then, a relatively well behaved, well adjusted (whatever that is) kid.

All I can remember about the school is a particular incident (or set of incidences) involving a new piano teacher. It was first term and I was attending new piano lessons with a new adult male teacher. Apparently, after my second lesson I didn't want to go back. My mother and father tell me for whatever reason, I simply gave up Piano (now, if it was something mundane I could understand, but not Piano, it was at that stage presumably the love of my life).

My parents thought at the time there was an incident (Apparently I refused to go back to the school until mum promised me I didn't have to play Piano anymore. My father went to see the principal and the teacher, the teachers first words to my father were "I never touched him". Why my parents didn't pursue this anyfurther I'll never know, but all I remember is that there was some sort of incident with the teacher touching me and something about yellow underwear.

After this 'incident', I didn't touch a piano again until I was 12, and even then I gave up after a little while.

Recently I've hit a massive depressive episode in my life and I've been seeing a psychologist who seems to think I show signs of Borderline Personality Disorder (which is quite accurate). I'm also deeply confused as to whether I am fully gay, bisexual or heterosexual and have suffered intense feelings of guilt for acting upon sexual urges as a teenager.

Anyway, my real point is, is there a way to find out what happened in these piano lessons with this teacher? Is hypnotherapy or therapy decent enough and trusted enough to give me an answer? I don't want to go accusing anyone of something as serious as child sexual abuse....but I've always been taught where there's smoke there's fire and the makeup of my personality + the fact that there was an incident big enough to traumatise me and my parents into removing me from school and me never playing piano again, I can't help but think I was abused by my teacher but my mind doesn't remember all the parts.

Recently I've found out that three teachers teaching at that particular school around the time I was having the Piano lessons (1993) (some in the music department) have been arrested and charged over sexually abusing children. I guess you could say I'm just after some closure to find out whether or not there might have been an experience that has plagued my subconscious.]]> Sun, 20 Sep 2009 13:17:41 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1592 Introducing Myself - New To The Forum http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1591
I am from India , 33 years old . Am married with a 6month old baby boy . I come from a very stable family background having had a happy and stable family life and supportive parents and a younger sister who is now married and well settled .

Coming to the problem that I am facing , its the addiction to Net pornography .

I was introduced to porn by friends in college , when i was in my early twenties . I did not have access to the net at my home then . And thus it did not develop inside me and was limite to occassional trysts with friends in their rooms when their [parents were away . I thought this was normal and "in' thing to do since everyone was doing it .

The problem started when I registered for my accounting course and my dad bought me a Home PC . I discovered the free and unlimited access to net porn and user to access and pleasure myself whenever i could find privacy , sometimes late at night with everybody sleeping .

Gradually i developed a habit and the frequency increased . still i could control it to a certain extent and went along with this behaviour . But this affected my focus on my career and could not complete my accountancy course .However , i went on to complete my post graduation in business and joined a Bank in the coming years .

Things in my life was otherwise good and normal with a stable job and happy family life .My parents have a very spiritual outlook and are firm believers in god . we are Hindus . I too believe in god and respect faith ( all faiths ) . But just could not control myself or deny myself this occassional pleasure which left me with a guilty conscience every time .

This was still occassional and my very own secret which no one in my family know to this date

there was a time when i did not have access to the net or cust it off deliberately for self control . But i would still watch porn when friends brougfht CDs DVDs or other medium .

I had a thinking that this would go by itself with marriage , but I was wrong . My wife is a beautiful and wonderful person who loves me a lot . But i have not been able to share this with her as i feel it would really hurt / shock her and also my family members.

When she became pregnant with our first baby , she went for delivery to her parents place . This left me alone with access to the net and has once againn re ignited the addiction which ahs become stronger especially during weekends.

Off late several times i have thought of going to a counsellor for advice but have not found the courage to do so . Maybe there is a fear lurking in my heart that this would be revealed i.e lack of trust .

Seeing this forum and also people who have been through this process of recovery , i reveal this to the members and ask for help and support to me to quit porn forever .
i know that i have to take it seriously and discipline myself and prevent this evil from taking control of my life .
I hope that i will receive some support from members to help me in becoming a better person and a better husband and father]]> Sun, 20 Sep 2009 06:58:26 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1591 Men And Pornography http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1578
I have been married for 10 years and have 3 children. I am going through a rough time right now since my husband is turning to pornography again: chat rooms, sex videos and phone sex. I am very hurt and very confused about the whole thing.

I have some questions only for men, preferably married . I want to know if you think it’s true that the reason men turn to pornography is that their women aren’t always available, and that they are getting what they don’t get at home, also, do you think a man’s addition to watching
x rated videos, and going in to chatlines can escalate to something more serious?

Please I want honest opinions from men only
]]> Tue, 18 Aug 2009 16:12:11 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1578 Anger And Stress http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1572 Mon, 10 Aug 2009 08:23:45 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1572 Steroid .... http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1555 Great new site !!!

An interesting resource...

Just found this new site on steroid very interesting

I can't believe this...

May be you have seen this site before?

Is this real?

steroidstoday.com]]> Mon, 13 Jul 2009 05:50:35 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1555 <![CDATA[Don't Know Where I Fit In Here.....]]> http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1587
But in the past few days, he's suddenly become interested again and started calling people in both the foster and bio family. This led to a call from a first cousin of his bio mother, who was apparently very close to bio mom when they were young. My husband mentioned to her that he had called his bio great uncle, and GU had been very rude to him, saying he didn't know my husband and didn't want to. First cousin said there were some issues there but she didn't want to go into it on the phone. Husband was trying to get as many people together as possible in a few months for a reunion and she said she would talk to him in person. But it was bugging him a lot, and he called her back and got her to tell him. She said he didn't want to know; he said he did. So- according to first cousin - the story about the military man on leave was a lie. Bio mom was raped by her father (He raped all of his daughters regularly, apparently). I don't know for sure if it's true; we were surprised to find when we originally tracked them down that bio mom was in her early 30s when he was born, and not a teen as we had suspected (common reason to give up a baby). So I wonder .... But it all fits in with what we learned 10 years ago about how strict and overbearing bio mom's father was with his "kids," keeping the under his thumb and not even allowing them to visit family. Fits right in with abusive profile.

But now - hubby has learned in his late 30s that he is probably the product of incest. I have learned that I am married to a probable product of incest, and we have a daughter. I am so angry that we didn't know this before; my daughter is fine, above average in fact, but I think we had a right to know and make an informed decision before having a child. This state sucks.

How do I help him deal with this? He is the victim here, as was bio mom, but there's such a stigma. How do I deal with this? I know he is the same person he was before he knew this, and I told him so, but part of me is struggling not to see him differently. Hate me for that if you want, I can't get help if I'm not honest. I hope time will take care of this part, just found out last night so still shocked. Even though I can see he is fine, and he got NOTHING from his bio father/grandfather, who was obviously a monster.

Has anyone been through anything similar? Please help!

Shocked

]]> Wed, 02 Sep 2009 07:00:45 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1587 <![CDATA[Molested As A Child And Doesn't Know How To Tell Parents]]> http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1564 I am 15 now. I know I'm supposed to be 16 to be on here, but I needed help...
Boys can't go near me. I freak out. Flashbacks coming so quick. A boy I was really close to tried to touch me, I let him. But then I got horribly sick. I was twitching uncontrollably. I blamed it on the cold, though it wasn't cold. I was so embarrassed. But when boys go near me down there, that's what happens. I got literally sick to my stomach. When I left his house, I went home. And threw up and cried uncontrollably on my bathroom floor. It all came back to me after 6 years. I saw Doug again. I thought I never would...
I am a girl, and we have periods. And I can't even wear a tampon.
I tried when I was at a friends house the other night and I freaked out again. Got sick. Again. Sobbed soooo hard. My friends were so worried, I started to violently throw up. It made me sick to my stomach. Again. My friend tried to hug me but it scared me and I screamed for her not to touch me. Then I just broke down and told them. My mother doesn't know. No one in my family does. Only the few friends I told that night. My father doesn't even remember. I told him I was molested and he was terrified. I will never tell him. He is off drugs now because he never remembered anything.
But NOTHING can go near my privates. Not anyone else, not even a tampon. It is ruining my life. I know I am young, but I am scared for my future. If boys can't even go near me down there, I am scared I will not be able to have children. I'm just so scared. I want to have children. I just want to be happy again. I just don't know how to fix this. I don't know what to do. I am so sorry I wrote so much, it's just been kept inside for too many years. This is the first time I have spoken of it. Please, help me. I am begging for my life back.]]> Mon, 27 Jul 2009 01:29:30 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1564 Saving Pedophiles Through Jesus Christ http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1582

Purpose

I pray this article will lead pedophiles to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord Savior and thus forever more reject their sexual addiction to children. I believe saving pedophiles will prevent future children from being molested.

The Bottom Line

The following is offered to those of you who want to skip reading the rest of this article and just get the essence of what I am saying. The following is excerpted from Matthew Henry Complete Commentary on the Whole Bible regarding Exodus, Chapter 8, and verses 20-32

Reigning lusts break through the strongest bonds, and make men presume and go from their word. Many seem in earnest, but there is some reserve, some beloved, secret sin. They are unwilling to look upon themselves as in danger of everlasting misery. They will refrain from other sins; they do much, give much, and even punish themselves much. They will leave it off sometimes, and, as it were, let their sin depart a little way; but will not make up their minds to part with all and follow Christ, bearing the cross. Rather than that, they venture all. They are sorrowful, but depart from Christ, determined to keep the world at present, and they hope for some future season, when salvation may be had without such costly sacrifices; but, at length, the poor sinner is driven away in his wickedness, and left without hope to lament his folly.

Relative to pedophiles I interpret Mr. Henry’s comments as follows:

The lusts are sexual attractions to children. These lusts are normally reinforced through masturbation, a highly addictive behavior. Drinking alcohol and taking drugs in excess are also addictive behaviors. One of Alcoholics Anonymous’ 12 steps to recovery is “belief in a higher power.” I believe the only sure way out of any harmful addiction is through Jesus Christ.

Because pedophiles break one of societies’ strongest bonds, namely the trust children have in adults, even other types of criminals loath child molesters.

I met many pedophiles during my ten years of treatment. They all seemed to earnestly want to rid themselves of their secret desires. Almost all were sorrowful; some were just sorry for themselves whereas others were sorry for both themselves and their victims. I suspect those who were just sorry for themselves would have ventured all by molesting additional children if they were sure they could get away with it.

I also suspect that some of those who empathized with their victims are nevertheless still masturbating to pictures, events, and fantasies involving children.

In a spiritual sense I believe anyone who refuses to entirely and forever part with all aspects of their sexual addiction for children is keeping the world at present and left without hope of salvation. “Anyone” includes those who feel sorry for what they have done and never reoffend in a criminal sense, but continue to entertain sexual fantasies involving children. The only way to salvation is to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.

My Background: I was sentenced to 5 years of probation for sexually molesting a child. One of the conditions of probation was satisfactory completion of a 5-year pedophile treatment program. Upon satisfaction of all the conditions of my probation (including not living with my family and not being in areas frequented by children) the Court released me and did not require me to register as a sex offender.

 The good news; I believe therapy gave me the awareness, empathy, and coping skills which were helping me to not act out my fantasies.

 The bad news; a child had been molested and I was still inwardly sexually attracted to children. I voluntarily chose to continue therapy for an additional five years because I felt I had more to learn and gain from treatment.

My treatment consisted of one-on-one sessions and weekly group meetings of pedophiles conducted by a psychologist. After ten years I left treatment because I felt there was nothing more to gain by continuing it. At that time I was not “acting out” my fantasies but I was still mentally addicted (looking at porn).

During the ten-year treatment period and for many years after I left therapy I lived what appeared to be a “outwardly normal married life”. For example, I attended my sons’ college graduation ceremonies and held down a full time job with a government agency. I felt I was in control of my outward behavior towards others but inwardly I was still sexually attracted to children.

Finally, I truly accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. Immediately the Lord cleansed my sole and mind. Praise the Lord!

Because my ten years of treatment were of value (they taught me ways to not act out my urges) a portion of this article will address some of the lessons I learned during treatment. However, those treatments did not eliminate my urges; those were only eliminated when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. So, the main emphasis of this article will be on how the Lord can remove sexual addiction.

Assume Anyone Can Be A Pedophile

I am concerned some children are being molested because neither they nor their parents realize pedophiles can be anyone, not just “dirty old men hiding in bushes”. Consider the case of John D. R. Atchison, federal prosecutor…

Gulf Breeze, Fla. ---John D. R. Atchison - federal prosecutor, married father of three - was a respected figure who coached girls' softball and basketball in a park a few blocks from his home in this well-to-do beach community.
But all that came crashing down when he was arrested last weekend in Detroit in an Internet sex sting on charges he went to Michigan to molest a 8-year-old girl. Officials say he later tried to hang himself in jail.
Atchison, 53, had been com-municating with an undercover sheriff's detective from Ma-comb County, Mich., who was posing online as the fictitious girl's mother and arranged for him to have sex with the child, police said. He was arrested carrying presents for her; in-cluding a doll and earrings, and sexual materials, officials said.
In the community that once applauded Atchison for his dedication to youth sports, people now worry that the assistant U.S. attorney might hold other secrets. But authorities have so far found no cases of child molestation in Florida involving Atchison.
. "There were no red flags. He was normal. He went to work at the courthouse Monday through Friday. It's not like he carried dolls to the ballpark," said po-lice Lt. Rick Hawthorne, who knew Atchison for more than 10 years and coached softball.

Mayor Lane Gilchrist said: "My first thought was just how stupid it was, particularly some-one of his stature. You couldn’t think up something like that"

Note that Mr. Atchison does not fit the pedophile’s stereotypical image of appearing outwardly creepy during everyday life. Nor do the priests or women school teachers that have recently appeared in the news. So, don’t use appearances to determine whether someone is a threat to a child.

Mr. Atchison does conform to the commonly held misconception that pedophiles usually molest strangers. In fact, most pedophiles know their victims. Of all the pedophiles I have met, most of them victimized fellow family members. Others met their victims through institutions such as schools, scouting, or church. I have only met one person who had molested a stranger. Most of the pedophiles I have met wanted to use their positions of trust to “groom” their victims in order to establish a long-term relationship.

Mr. Atkinson’s case is an exception to the general rule that children know their perpetrators. It is better to assume ANYONE could be a pedophile. Children must be protected at all times. Be especially suspicions of people wanting to spend time alone with children. Do not take anyone for granted!

Lessons Learned from Therapy

Most pedophiles experience recurring cycles of giving advance permission, acting out, reinforcement, guilt, and denial; then back to giving advance permission, etc. I will now address each component of the cycle and how to break the chain of sexual addiction to children.

Giving oneself permission to contemplate or commit unacceptable behavior is a form of justification. Common rationales are “this is a way of us showing love for each other” and “its better for me to teach them than someone who does not love them.” It is wrong thinking and selfish. It does not recognize the harmful consequences on either the child or the molester. It is an excuse to indulge in addiction.

Acting out can range from “just looking” to rape. Those who claim they will never do anything worse than “just fantasize and never touch” think are in control. But their addiction is in control. Pedophiles often delude themselves and minimize their actions.

Reinforcement results from masturbation before and/or during and/or after the act. It yields an extreme high that is highly addictive.

Guilt usually occurs for selfish reasons; feeling shame, sorrow for oneself, fear of being caught, etc. It may occur because of a limited amount of empathy for the victim. This is the time of conscience. The “guilt phase” is the weak link in the cycle. If left unbroken, the cycle continues to have terrible consequences for pedophiles and their victims. The guilt period is the opportunity to acknowledge the problem and deal with it by seeking help from others (the “other” I prefer is Jesus Christ). Sadly, addiction trumps guilt with denial.

Denial is the pedophile’s antidote for guilt. It shifts the focus from the negative aspects of pedophilia to aspects the molester finds to be pleasurable. Denial prepares the mental ground for sowing the seeds of destruction.

After denial the cycle begins anew and repeats until the pedophiles’ acts are stopped, usually by law enforcement. Courts and therapists protect children by altering and deterring pedophiles’ worldly behavior. But I believe only Jesus Christ can remove all lustful thoughts; only He can save pedophiles’ souls. I pray the final section of this article leads you to the same conclusion.

The only way to salvation is through Jesus Christ.

Almost all of the pedophiles I met after completing the initial phases of therapy were able to control their outward acts by following two rules.
 Rule 1 Avoid: Avoid contact with children in the first place.

 Rule 2 Escape: When unavoidable situations arise placing the pedophile in proximity with children the pedophile is to escape the scene as soon as possible.

Following these rules helps minimize the chances of harming more children, but they do nothing to heal the harm done to pedophiles and their victims. It addresses (cleans) the pedophile’s outward behavior but does not address their lusts. Therapy is man’s way of addressing mental addiction, but therapists can’t save souls. The Lord will clean the pedophile’s mind and save his soul, if he confesses, repents, and accepts Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior

“Outward motives may keep the outside clean, while the inside is filthy; but if the heart and spirit be made new, there will be newness of life; here we must begin with ourselves. … And it is just with God to give those up to men their true characters.” .—Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary on Matthew 23:13

Man has free will. He can choose to “obstinately persist in gratifying their hearts’ lusts” to their, and their victim’s, peril or he can choose to break his cycle of addictive behavior. As discussed earlier, the best point to break the cycle is when he feels guilt and before he goes into denial. Confession trumps denial

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 1John 1:8

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1John 1:9.

Confession should be directed to the Lord, victims, and loved ones because confession can help both the pedophile and others. Confession must be coupled with true repentance resulting in being forgiven by Jesus Christ:

"Repent ye." The word here used, implies a total alteration in the mind, a change in the judgment, disposition, and affections, another and a better bias of the soul. Consider your ways, change your minds: you have thought amiss; think again, and think aright. True penitents have other thoughts of God and Christ, sin and holiness, of this world and the other, than they had. The change of the mind produces a change of the way. That is gospel repentance, which flows from a sight of Christ, from a sense of his love, and from hopes of pardon and forgiveness through him. It is a great encouragement to us to repent; repent, for your sins shall be pardoned upon your repentance. Return to God in a way of duty, and he will, through Christ, return unto you in the way of mercy. It is still as necessary to repent and humble ourselves, to prepare the way of the Lord, as it then was. There is a great deal to be done, to make way for Christ into a soul, and nothing is more needful than the discovery of sin, and a conviction that we cannot be saved by our own righteousness.—Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary regarding Matthew 3:1

“…repentance is bound up with the forgiveness of sins. In Acts 5:31 we read that Jesus is “exalted to give repentance and forgiveness of sins.” These two blessings come from that sacred hand which once was nailed to the tree, but is now raised to glory. Repentance and forgiveness are riveted together by the eternal purpose of God. What God hath joined together let no man put asunder.

Repentance must go with remission, and you will see that it is so if you think a little upon the matter. It cannot be that pardon of sin should be given to an impenitent sinner; this were to confirm him in his evil ways, and to teach him to think little of evil. If the Lord were to say, “You love sin, and live in it, and you are going on from bad to worse, but, all the same, I forgive you,” this were to proclaim a horrible license for iniquity. The foundations of social order would be removed, and moral anarchy would follow. I cannot tell what innumerable mischiefs would certainly occur if you could divide repentance and forgiveness, and pass by the sin while the sinner remained as fond of it as ever. In the very nature of things, if we believe in the holiness of God, it must be so, that if we continue in our sin, and will not repent of it, we cannot be forgiven, but must reap the consequence of our obstinacy. According to the infinite goodness of God, we are promised that if we will forsake our sins, confessing them, and will, by faith, accept the grace which is provided in Christ Jesus, God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. But, so long as God lives, there can be no promise of mercy to those who continue in their evil ways, and refuse to acknowledge their wrongdoing
—All of Grace An Earnest Word with Those Who Are Seeking Salvation by the Lord Jesus Christ by Charles Spurgeon

CONCLUSION

So it all comes down to a control issue. In order to be saved the pedophile must allow the Lord, not sexual addiction, to be in control. This is accomplished by (1) confessing, repenting of, and forsaking the addiction and (2) accepting Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.
What the Lord Jesus did for us when He came more than nineteen hundred years ago is the gospel, the good news. He died for us, and He rose again. God doesn't save us by His love, and He doesn't save us by His mercy. Ephesians tells us: "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God" (Eph. 2:8)... Mercy is the compassion of God that prompted Him to send a Savior to mankind. If one man could be saved by the mercy of God, all mankind would be saved. It wouldn't have been necessary for Christ to die; the Cross would have been circumvented. God loves men, but He didn't save us by His love. Love is the divine motive, but God is not only love, He is righteous and holy and just. The holy demands of God, His just claims, and His righteous standard had to be met. The love of God may long to save us, but the immutable law of justice makes love powerless to do so. Therefore, Christ, by dying for our sins, met the holy demands of God's justice, and He can now save us by grace. How wonderful it is to be saved by the grace of God!—J. Vernon McGee's Thru The Bible commentary on Titus 2:11
]]> Fri, 28 Aug 2009 11:08:53 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1582 Family Disagreements Affecting Elder Care http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=552
Tricia]]> Tue, 17 Jul 2007 13:23:42 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=552 Sick Of Husband http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1503
I am Indian origin, came to U.K to stay with husband. I was prepared to work here as I really wanted to good for my parents. Later when I got married my husband and his family were very happy. My first pay was paid to his parents to pay off their debts which should be around £1700.00, later I had sent them £700 to pay their debts and many more later. My husband's father was working class but they borrowed loan for Sushi's (my husband's) education, therefore it was our duty to pay back all. Sushi did repay most of it and the rest was on me. I was quiet ok in the beginning but then I realised that Sushi is expecting too much from me. He wasn’t bothered what I want but was more into what he wants. He wanted a car, he bought 3 cars in 5yrs and all were bought from my money. When we bought our house I paid for the deposit from my savings. When I save, my husband thinks I am sick as I have never seen money in my whole life, but when I save all my cash is used for his luxury. When I had my boy, he was just sick of me, he just turned off me, and I knew it. Later, he bought a car of my money back home and gifted it to his parents and the explanation was, 'My parents always wanted car but they couldn’t get it so now I thought I should buy them'. I was sick of all these. My hard earned money is spent on these people whom I hate. Also in these 5yrs of marriage I had never been on any holiday, never. We had been to see our parents back home but all the expense was on me and my money was used to make sushi's parents happy and when I went to check my a/c it was 'ZERO' balance. I hate him. He never cared for me. He is a great liar as well. He lied me hundreds of time. I don’t trust him. The only thing I can say about him is that he doesn’t have any other relation apart from me but still I don’t like him because he never cared for me. I always supported him financially but he made me feel stupid at the end. He had sent money to his parents when he was really struggling with money and when I asked him about it I was asked to shut up and later my money was transferred to his a/c to pay off his payments/ bills. I know his parents need monthly expense but their daughter (divorcee) stay with them and she earns as well but still Sushi pay for her expense as well and she is enjoying a good feast from her earned money and we both are struggling here and looking after our wee boy. There is time when I feel I want break from this hard life but I can’t get it as Sushi has covered me with a debt of £10,000. I want to leave my job and just leave but I can’t as I have to repay that amount on me. I am just stuck here, I am very tired, and I feel sick and cry often thinking what sushi has given me in this love marriage. He has made me feel sick, lonely. I hate myself to marry this person. He has promised me for a better life after few months when I planned to leave my job and stay home to look after my boy and when he opens his business but I don’t trust him. He is very dependant on me. I want to just fly away somewhere with my son and not to see this man again in my life. I hope God will support me. I just want to know why is he so bad with me and why doesn’t he care for me?????

Sita.
]]> Wed, 03 Jun 2009 05:40:54 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1503 In Desperate Need Of Advice http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1590 ]]> Fri, 04 Sep 2009 05:51:38 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1590 Daddys Doll http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1589 And the couch is full of crumbs.
I go to bed and in my head,
I just know he's going to come.

For Daddy, has made me sad,
By playing house with me,
And you can bet, I can't forget,
All the things he's done to me.

For he's robbed me of my purity,
And he's stripped me of my pride,
He took from me my virginity,
And he ruined me inside.

It makes no sense my innocence,
Was forced to take a tragic fall.
I don't know why but I know that I,
Have become my Daddy's Doll.

I'm so confused for I've been abused,
And I don't think he will stop.
It sounds absurd but If I say a word,
I know I'll get a pop.

And I'll have to lie about my eye,
When it is black and blue.
I slipped and fell, I hurt like hell,
But what am I to do?

It will do more harm if I tell my Mom,
Because she'll think it's a lie.
And for a fact, she'll tell me that,
"Daddy's not that type of guy".

And because I'm young, I bite my tongue,
And my tears begin to fall.
I wonder why I have to cry,
And be my Daddy' Doll.
]]> Thu, 03 Sep 2009 23:44:17 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1589 Forgiveness http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1493
My son and I were very close. We worked together, rode to work together every day for the past 15 months. We shared a lot, especially his daughter........my precious granddaughter who is now 4.

Now that I've explained the details and how it all began.............let me warn each and every parent, that if your adult child dies, the other parent can take over everything, all funeral arrangements, burial, headstone, Estate, etc........without telling you anything (according to Kansas Law, or should I say say "Small town Politics"). He didn't even tell me about the Estate, I heard it from someone else. Therefore, he is entitled to any information on his Estate to be left to my son's daughter, which by the way he hasn't called to see her since our son died. His mother has, but she is just as controlling and hateful as her son.

Not only did I lose my son, but I and his brothers were totally left out of everything. The step-mother picked out a Priest, which my son is not Catholic and neither is she. The Priest did not have one kind word to say about my son, said he wasn't a godly man, he didn't pray, go to church, WHICH IS NOT TRUE........... WHY WASN'T I GIVEN A CHOICE OR A CHANCE TO BE A PART IN MY SON'S Burial (Step mother works for funeral home)? They had everything planned and signed on the day he died.

How can I ever find it in my heart to forgive them for what they have done? It's hard enough losing a child, let alone, having his father do this to us. My son is buried where he didn't want to be, which is also 3 hours from my home but where his dad lives.

I feel as though I'm losing my own life now, but I have to go on for my other two son's and two granddaughters, and of course all of my family and friends. It's one step at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time, but yet.........I feel as though I can never get the closure that I need because of what he has done. How can I ever forgive him for doing what can never be undone?

Rest in Peace my son...............I love you!
Mom]]> Fri, 29 May 2009 22:31:21 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1493 Wow,nike.like: Wow-nike.com http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1586
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Welcome to purchase!]]> Wed, 02 Sep 2009 01:39:26 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1586 If You Need Some Extra Cash To Help During These Bad Economic Times.... http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1585
Jessica]]> Sun, 30 Aug 2009 23:25:22 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1585 <![CDATA[Smart Idea's For Quick Cash To Survive This Bad Economy]]> http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1584
An much more attractive alternative is to get a guaranteed secured loan using your jewelry. The rates are very reasonable, the loan-to-value is very generous, and the best part is that when you decide to pay back the principle, you will get your jewelry back! You never lose your ownership interest in the item unless you default on the loan - very much like an auto loan.

I have come across several women who have done this and bought an inexpensive but very nice cubic zirconium ring to temporarily wear as their wedding ring while their loan is outstanding.

Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help or any questions you may have.

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Jessica@SmartTermLoans.com]]> Sat, 29 Aug 2009 09:54:57 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1584 <![CDATA[Smart Idea's For Quick Cash To Survive This Bad Economy]]> http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1583
An much more attractive alternative is to get a guaranteed secured loan using your jewelry. The rates are very reasonable, the loan-to-value is very generous, and the best part is that when you decide to pay back the principle, you will get your jewelry back! You never lose your ownership interest in the item unless you default on the loan - very much like an auto loan.

I have come across several women who have done this and bought an inexpensive but very nice cubic zirconium ring to temporarily wear as their wedding ring while their loan is outstanding.

Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help or any questions you may have.

Jessica Holloway
Client Representative
www.SmartTermLoans.com
Jessica@SmartTermLoans.com]]> Sat, 29 Aug 2009 09:49:48 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1583 A Message In A Bottle http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1566
I've used porn, available on the internet, throughout puberty and into my late 20's. It has become such a compulsive behavior that I'm not sure how to break it. And what's worse, it's developed into searching for illegal material. This stuff is disgusting and morally unacceptable; yet here I am stuck in a cycle and wracked with shame. I never download anything, and never, ever distribute any of this garbage but it's still easy enough to view it. Ironically, the stuff is free and available while professional help is expensive and hard to come by.

I have a lovely girlfriend who I've dated and lived with for a few years now. She knows I view porn on the internet and doesn't have a problem with it. (she says so at least) But if she had any idea of the stuff that I've seen, I don't know if she would want to put up with it, nor would I blame her. So as much as I want to confess to her what I've been struggling with, I feel that I can't and don't want to burden her with such a bombshell.

I've managed to quit smoking, and this is no match. It seems that the years of conditioning has really turned me into something I never imagined I could be: a monster. And when I think that I might not ever be free of this desire, it makes me cry.

So what can I do? I want to get rid of the internet in my house but how do I explain that to my girlfriend who helps pays for it and uses it? That's not fair to her. How do I free myself from my own behavior?]]> Mon, 03 Aug 2009 02:46:02 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1566 Benefits Of Ed Drugs http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1581
2. ED drugs improve the blood circulation in the body along with the penis and solves the problem of high and low blood pressure. Due to the increased blood flow, the arteries that were blocked with plaque gets open up and you are saved from the diseases like atherosclerosis.

3. According to latest research, ED drugs makes your heart healthy. People who have previously suffered with the heart disorders, after taking the ED drugs have found the development of resistance to the heart disorders and the proper functioning of the heart is observed.

Read full post here:Neal Oren's MySpace Blog]]> Thu, 27 Aug 2009 02:45:25 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1581 Online Pharmacy http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1580
]]> Wed, 26 Aug 2009 00:21:40 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1580 How Do I Deal? http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1511 Sat, 13 Jun 2009 22:46:30 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1511 Blood Pressure Monitor http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1528 that tracks results for up to three weeks. While I think the home monitor is a great guide, I'm not sure I trust its accuracy. Does anyone know if home blook pressure monitoring kits are considered accurate, and are there any operation tips you can suggest to improve accuracy? Thanks!
]]> Wed, 24 Jun 2009 01:27:50 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1528 What Is Best Way To Share My Experienes With My Children? http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1561
Thanks,
D]]> Wed, 22 Jul 2009 02:38:07 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1561 Are You Suffering From Psoriasis? http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1576
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]]> Fri, 14 Aug 2009 05:31:29 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1576 Pregnancy http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1575 it help me or not? i am totaly confused.]]> Tue, 11 Aug 2009 23:32:20 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1575 Schedule Messages To Friends To Send Messages In Future Date http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1574 Tue, 11 Aug 2009 04:45:01 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1574 Blending Two Families Together http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1573
Email us today! firststepcating@gmail.com]]> Mon, 10 Aug 2009 14:00:08 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1573 Sexual Child Abuse http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1492
Well, where to start. I am the future father of a son (due in September this year)
I already have a adopted son who turned 7 in March this year.
We have been suspecting some kind of sexual abuse for a while now. (Basically a year)
But when asked he said nobody touched him or hurt him in any way.
His behaviour started with extreme clingyness. He started geting scared of the dark, sleeping alone.
He does not want to let go of me at all. He doesnt want to go anywhere without me, nor want me to go anywhere without him.
He became very angry and short tempered. Will do the exact oposite what he is told. Now this weird behaviour made me (us) think that something hapened.
About a month ago we were on a holiday at the coust, and this is where some of our suspicions became more clear.
He came through to our room in the hotel about 4 in the morning and lays down at my side where he falls asleep again (this has become an everymorning thing so I didnt pay much attention to it)
As it is, I fell asleep again, to be awakened by my sons had down my pants on my private areas. This upsetted me.
I started by asking him if he knows that its wrong which he replied yes he knows and that he is sorry. I asked him where he saw that or did someone do it to him. which he replied no to. Obviously he must have seen it or learned it from somewhere. But he insisted nobody ever touched him or anything in that matter.
well skipping to the recent insodent.
Ive been trying to act extremely calm with him to try and calm him down and gain that extra trust. (we were receiving alot of complaints from school and his grandparants who looks after him while we work) So that maybe he will tell us what is bothering, and then he spoke to me very briefly again.
When I put him to bed (note it has become a habit that one of us has to lay down with him until he falls asleep)
So he then told me that what hapened at the Coast he cant get out of his head. That he is scared I'll never forgive him. I told him that I already forgave him and that he doesnt have to worry, everyone makes mistakes. He went further and asked me why I was upset about it. And I told him because no one is ever aloud touching nor looking at anybody elses private parts. And like I've told him many times before, if someone dares touches him in a non apropriate way, he must say know and tell us immediatly, and that if it hapens at school where we arnt close by he must scream and run as fast as he can to the princeble.
He then told me that I told him "its ok to touch and play"
But I defnitly never said anything like that. This is very disturbing for me, and is prove that something defnitly hapend to my little boy.
What can I do, and why would he think I said something like that? I dont understand. Please help]]> Thu, 28 May 2009 03:09:54 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1492 Weight Loss Program http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1571
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]]> Mon, 10 Aug 2009 03:26:01 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1571 Controlling Husband http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1565 husband is jealous of grown children and grandchildren. does not want me to see them, do things for them. Wants me all to self. We are 68 and 73 years old. He is second husband of 19 years, first husband died. Any suggestions? Do I owe him my complete time and myself or do I consider my children. Mon, 27 Jul 2009 11:40:15 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1565 Afraid He Has Lied To Me From The Beginning http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1570 Mon, 10 Aug 2009 02:59:01 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1570 Advice On Child Molestation http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1569 Sun, 09 Aug 2009 22:23:38 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1569 Need Someone To Be Accountable To http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1562 Fri, 24 Jul 2009 19:48:12 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1562 Is Child Spanking Ok? http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=968
Read complete article!]]> Thu, 21 Feb 2008 11:58:21 -0800 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=968 Workout Routine http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1518 Barbara
]]> Fri, 19 Jun 2009 05:48:24 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1518 Fluoride http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1567
In 2006 the National research Council of the National Academies published a 500-page review of fluoride’s toxicology. The panel reviewed a large body of literature in which fluoride has a statistically significant association with a wide range of adverse effects. Dental fluorisis was the most obvious problem, but there was found to be, surprisingly, an increased risk of decreased thyroid function, lowered IQ, bone fractures and arthritic-like conditions and, possibly, osteosarcoma.

The Scientific American study "Concluded that fluoride can subtly alter endocrine function, especially in the thyroid -- the gland that produces hormones regulating growth and metabolism."

So not only has it been linked with a lowered IQ, fluorosis, arthritis and bone fractures, but it is also causing obesity. Small children, people who drink a lot of water(obviously), diabetics and people with kidney problems are very high-risk for these problems.

One of the biggest problems is it is impossible to determine a margin of safety for fluoridation, since so many people drink different amounts of water - not to mention that we also get fluoride from many other sources as well as the fact that it accumulates in the bone and other calcifying tissues. What might be a safe margin for one will be a dangerous margin for someone else, since they may be more susceptible to fluoride's effects or may drink a lot more water.

Still think it's nothing to worry about? Keep reading.

The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in 2005 released details that 32% of American children have dental fluorosis. This is a hair under 1 in 3 children who now have an irreversible and sometimes disfiguring condition, caused by fluoride.

Scientific American's Dan Fagin interviewed Steven Levy, director of an Iowa Fluoride Study which tracked about 700 Iowa children for sixteen years. Nine-year-old "Iowa children who lived in communities where the water was fluoridated were 50 percent more likely to have mild fluorosis... than [nine-year-old] children living in nonfluoridated areas of the state," writes Fagin.

In 2005, a study conducted at the Harvard School of Dental Health found that fluoride in tap water directly contributes to causing bone cancer in young boys.

"New American research suggests that boys exposed to fluoride between the ages of five and 10 will suffer an increased rate of osteosarcoma - bone cancer - between the ages of 10 and 19,"

An August 2006 Chinese study found that fluoride in drinking water damages children's liver and kidney functions.

In 1999 and 2001 the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention stated that the predominant benefit of fluoride in reducing tooth decay is topical and not systemic. What this means is that fluoride's ability to reduce tooth decay is from applying it to the teeth - not by ingesting it! There is absolutely no reason to contaminate drinking water with a substance that is not meant to be ingested and of which there is no safe margin!

In November 2006 the American Dental Association, recommendedthat during the first 12 months of life, baby formula should be prepared using only water that has been "purified, distilled, deionized, demineralized, or produced through reverse osmosis." This new policy was implemented to prevent the ingestion of too much fluoride by babies and to lower the risk of dental fluorosis.

Considering the fact that fluoride is dangerous and unnecessary to begin with, that there are many poor or low-income families in America, and babies are already a great expense, is it right that parents should have to spend even more money to purchase water that won't poison their child?

"Today, many people living in fluoridated communities are ingesting doses of fluoride (1.6-6.6 mg/day) that fall within the range of doses (2 to 10 mg/day) once used by doctors to reduce thyroid activity in hyperthyroid patients. This is of particular concern considering the widespread problem of hypothyroidism (under-active thyroid) in the United States. Symptoms of hypothyroidism include obesity, lethargy, depression, and heart disease."
Paul Connett, PhD

A Congressional subcommittee from 1999-2000 questioned federal agencies about fluoride; it was admitted that the industrial grade waste products used to fluoridate over 90% of America's drinking water supplies have never been subjected to toxicological testing nor received FDA approval for human ingestion (Fox, 1999; Hazan, 2000; Plaisier, 2000; Thurnau, 2000).

You read that correctly; the fluoride used in your family's drimking water is an industrial-grade waste product and over 90% of it has never even been tested for toxicity, nor received FDA approval for human ingestion!

In fact, Fluoride is a waste by-product of the fertilizer and aluminum industry and it's also a Part II Poison under the UK Poisons Act 1972.

Did you know that sodium fluoride is one of the basic ingredients in:

PROZAC(as well as other anesthetic, hypnotic, and psychiatric drugs)
Sarin Nerve Gas(as well as other military nerve gases)
Rat and cockroach poisons

Now that we've (briefly!) reviewed the risks of fluoride, what about the benefits?

The following studies, since the 80s alone, have indicated little difference in tooth decay between fluoridated and non-fluoridated communities:

Leverett, 1982; Colquhoun, 1984; 1985 and 1987; Diesendorf, 1986; Gray, 1987; Brunelle and Carlos, 1990; Spencer,1996; deLiefde, 1998; Locker, 1999; Armfield and Spencer, 2004; Pizzo 2007

If you don't feel like looking these studies up, there is plenty more information readily available:

According to the World Health Organization, dental health in 12-year olds in non-fluoridated industrialized countries is as good, if not better, than those in fluoridated countries (Neurath, 2005).

In 2000, the publication of the UK government sponsored “York Review,” the first systematic scientific review of fluoridation, found that NONE of the studies purporting to demonstrate the effectiveness of fluoridation to reduce tooth decay were of grade A status, i.e. “high quality, bias unlikely” (McDonagh et al., 2000).

The dangers of fluoride are not a recent discovery. A research chemist by the name of Charles Perkins wrote on October 2nd, 1954:
"Repeated doses of infinitesimal amounts of fluoride will in time reduce an individual's power to resist domination, by slowly poisoning and narcotizing a certain area of the brain, thus making him submissive to the will of those who wish to govern him."

In fact, fluoridated water was given to both prisoners in concentration camps in Nazi Germany and Soviet Russia.

Dr. E.H. Bronner, nephew of Albert Einstein, wrote in January 1952:
"Fluoridation of our community water systems can well become their most subtle weapon for our sure physical and mental deterioration. As a research chemist of established standing, I built within the past 22 years 3 American chemical plants and licensed 6 of my 53 patents. Based on my years of practical experience in the health food and chemical field, let me warn: fluoridation of drinking water is criminal insanity, sure national suicide. DON'T DO IT!!"

I encourage you to do your own research; not only will you confirm the statements here, you will find out much more that will shock you.

Please do not allow your families to drink fluoridated water, and tell those responsible that you will not stand for their poisoning of yourself, your family, your friends, your community, and your nation.]]> Mon, 03 Aug 2009 15:23:56 -0700 http://www.way2hope.org/family-forums/index.php?showtopic=1567